staying with friend with annoying dogs

[AlphaSchmalpha]

Been thinking about this all week and don't know what to do.

Visited lovely best friend last weekend. She lives 200 miles away (ie we have to stay, can't do it just in a day).

She has two dogs, and they make the stay hard work - they jump up at me and ds (3.5), ds is scared of them because they won't leave him alone, jumping up, sniffing at him etc.

Also she lets the dogs on the sofas so we came home with our clothes covered in dog hair.

She has said she looks forward to us visiting again and of course I want to keep seeing her. Do we just suck up the negative dog stuff or do I say something, eg can the dogs go to a nearby relatives while we stay (which feels a bit precious tbh). ds doesn't want to go again, he loves my friend but really dislikes the dogs.

I don't think you can ask her to send them away,

but I wouldn't be offended if someone said

'i really enjoyed the visit but DS isn't too keen on the dogs, if we come again could you keep them in the kitchen in the evening'

or similar.

You have to put up with it tbh, it's her house and her dogs. I have dreadful alergies to pets, but even then I just show up armed with a vatload of piriton and suck it up

The onus is on you to stay somewhere else. WHat about a b and b ?

It's the dog's house. Deal with it or stay in a hotel.

think you're right, i probably have to be firmer about asking her to keep them away from ds - she keeps saying "they're just saying hello" - but ds is literally climbing up me as high as he can get as they keep trying to lick / chew his shoes or are right in his face, and he is becoming very fearful of dogs.

i can't stay at a B&B without explaining why, she would think it bizarre if I came to see her but didn't stay. so if I explain and she doesn't want to keep the dogs in another room the whole time, then I will of course stay elsewhere.

Don't stay there. I wouldn't, especially not with small children.

thing is, I can put up with it (though I dislike having a big dog jump up at me), but ds is only 3.5, right at face level, and they are obsessed with his feet. it's very hard for him to cope with them. it's the dogs' house, but as a guest it would be nice if ds didn't have to cower or leap up to me every few mins because of dogs which won't leave him be.

should also say, the dogs mean everything to my friend so I don't want to hurt her feelings. if I say "we're not staying with you because of your dogs' behaviour" she will be very hurt. just want to find the best way of getting her to see that lovely though she thinks they are, they are very hard work for ds, who is her guest.

I really feel for you. We had friends who had 2 largish completely trained dogs - one minute licking their arses, the next trying to lick your face. Don't get me wrong we had a dog when I was growing up, and if he knew people he did jump up and put his paws on them to say 'hello', but after that he left them alone - unless they were eating cake.

Perhaps you could say to her that their jumping up is frightening ds and next time is there a way that she could think of to stop them as you don't want him to become frightened of dogs.

With our's he always thought too, that people were about to steal his biscuits, so if someone he didn't know was coming there were always biscuits on the rug in the morning room just before they came. He was then distracted and didn't make any fuss - too busy stuffing his face.

I reckon I'd tell her your little DS doesn't like the dogs jumping up at him/etc and whilst you know they are "being friendly" (whatever you really think, a bit of sweetness might help!) you also know it really bothers him.
Ask if she would mind if the next time you came over the dogs were kept away from him - maybe not entirely, but at points when they are most excitable (= scary to ds) and if ds is getting distressed /loads of attention from the dogs. Explain that you don't want him to grow up scared of dogs, but that he's not used to them and hers are so "lovely and healthy/energetic" (other positive word!) he finds it a bit overwhelming.
I was terrified of dogs as a child, lots of springer spaniels around which are SO bouncy /big when you're tiny and unsure. I think he genuinely didn't realise that I was terrified of them, I think he thought I was "playing" or simply being awkward... your freind, as odd as it sound, may genuinely not realise just how scared/unhappy your ds when teh dogs are around.

Maybe just say "DS is going through this phase where he's really afraid of dogs, would you mind if we stayed at a B and B?". She might come up with an alternative suggestion (keep dogs away) but probably won't get offended if you use your DS as the reason...

My ds are scared of dogs and I get so cross when owners say "its ok - its friendly" . If I had a creature who was so big that its face was at the same height as mine, come up to me I would be scared!! After-all this is the equivalent of what happens to a child

This is probably not a good asnwer, but maybe going to visit more often so that DS gets more used to the dogs might help a bit. The dogs should also get more used to him and not bother him so much because he won't be new and interesting?

Iagree with idlm. It would be good for your ds to learn not to be afraid of dogs, afterall they are part of everyday life and pretty unavoidable whether you like it or not.

My nephew is horrified of my dog after he jumped up at him (once the 2nd day we had him before training).

I am desensitising him by keeping the dog in a crate in the same room for now, when he is used to that I will leave the dog on his leash outside of the crate and so on.

Perhaps if you explain to your friend that ds is afraid she would be ahpy to help you train him?

i would explain your DS difficutlies with the dogs jumping. We had friends here at the weekend who are not keen on dogs and had their LOs here too, and our dog is big an dlikely to knock someone over. We kept him on a lead to start, then once calm, had kids on sofa (his not allowed on there and knows it) and let him off, and finally put him in his crate. Im very mindful that not everyone loves my puppy

On the unusual injuries thread someone mentioned getting pissed on by a tiger and that her dog wouldn't go near her for days afterwards.

I wonder if you can buy bottle tiger piss on ebay?