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Playground weirdness - how do I get to the bottom of this?!

9 replies

docket · 02/11/2010 18:49

I'll try and be as brief as possible! We moved from London to the city I grew up earlier this year. DD and DS started at a lovely infant school in September in Reception and Y1 respectively.

On the first day I clocked two women I'd been at secondary school with in the playground. They were good friends, 2 years above me. I remembered both as being very nice indeed.

Turns out one of them has a DD in DS' class. She's very nice and friendly, just as I remembered her. The other has a DS in the adjacent Y1 class. To start with I tried a few times to say 'hello'. She seemed not to see me so I thought maybe she had bad eyesight (!). Then I thought she was being a bit furtive. But it has become increasingly apparent that she is actively trying to avoid me as whenever I appear she moves quickly away, pulls faces at me and mutters to whoever she is with. I know this all sounds as though I'm being a bit paranoid but it's happened several times now. What's worse is that DS and her DS go to football club and are friendly with each other. Often on the way to school they start running together and she pulls her son away!

I'm completely at a loss as to what I could have possibly done 20 odd years ago to provoke this reaction. We weren't friends, didn't move in the same circles, just went to the same school. I've asked a couple of classmates if they remember anything and they don't. I just don't get it. I have been told that a member of her family did something that 'really embarrassed' her but can't see how that could make her like this with me.

Part of me just thinks it's not worth worrying about it all but I'm so intrigued. I've contemplated asking the nice one outright but I don't want to make her feel awkward. The thought of several more years of this isn't too appealing... WWYD?

OP posts:
DiggeryGravery · 02/11/2010 18:51

Maybe she thinks you know about the embarrassing family member incident, and either doesn't want to risk you (innocently) bringing it up, or is embarrassed because she thinks you know all about it?

docket · 02/11/2010 18:53

Well yes, I did wonder that. But to be so rude?!!!

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booyhoo · 02/11/2010 18:54

20 years changes people. she is not the girl she was at school. maybe she is just a cow and doesn't want to get to know you. some people don't need a reason to be mean.

PrettyCandles · 02/11/2010 18:56

If she's anything like me, she's in agonies of frustration and embarrassment because she knows she should know who you are but can't for the life of her remember your name. And maybe she can remember you from school, but can't remember whether you were the nice one or the cow. And the longer it goes on the worse it is, because the harder it gets to 'fess up. And so she's getting angry at herself for being this way, and the frowns are probably directed as much at herself as at you.

Put her out of her misery by marching straight up to her and saying in a confident and friendly manner "Hi! I'm Docket. I was two years behind you at XYZ School."

docket · 02/11/2010 18:59

Hmmm, PrettyCandles I'd like to think you were right but I know she knows who I am as the nice one told me that after spotting me she had told her that she'd spotted me.

booyhoo, perhaps you are right.

Bah.

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mazzystartled · 02/11/2010 18:59

I'd just have to ask her directly if I've done something to upset her. Or her chum. Because it is odd.( Maybe she's had a secret lifelong crush on your other half?)Stuff like that really really irritates me.

Or maybe I'd invite them both round for coffee or her DS for playdate to force the issue.

castlesintheair · 02/11/2010 19:04

Some people are just weird. I shrug this kind of thing off although am also intrigued to know what lies behind this kind of behaviour. If your DCs start getting friendlier maybe she'll have to start acknowledging you at least and maybe that in turn will lead to her starting to be a bit nicer.

escape · 02/11/2010 19:06

Weird.
no, pretty candles, not in this instance I'm afraid, if she is actively pulling her son away.

So, a few options;
She is one of these bizarre women who take a dislike to someone literally on sight and behave like childish bitches.
She is jealous of you in some way.
Either way, there is clearly nothing you could have possibly done wrong by the sounds of it.

Ignore and stay away - can you imagine what goes on in the head of someone like that?

docket · 02/11/2010 19:09

I can't imagine why she'd be jealous of me. It's just weird because at school she seemed like one of those rare types who was both beautiful and nice. Perhaps time has changed her. 20 years is a long time. It's just so frustrating not knowing!!

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