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Original poster

party clash... wwyd?

13 replies

thisisyesterday · 20/10/2010 18:52

ok so we had planned a small party for ds1 next weekend as he has been struggling with friends at school and we wanted to try and help him form some new friendships.

unfortunately on the day we sent invites out another mum also sent some out. her party is the same day.
her party starts first, but overlaps with ours

my problem is that ds1 only invited 7 children to his. 3 have said they can't come.

i don't know whether to hope the other 4 do come, and invite some other family friends just to make up numbers a bit.
or whether to cancel... i don't know if the other mum has invited the whole class (except ds1) or not. ds1 has decided that there are some other children he would like to invite to his, but that would be pointless if she has invited them all already.

i can't ASK anyone without looking a bit odd I don';t think. like "are you going to x's party? no? would you like to come to ours then"

gah
obv it's halloween so i can't even really move it to the weekend after

OP posts:

lollipopshoes · 20/10/2010 18:54

oh gosh, how awkward!

I think I would be tempted to hope that the remaining four turn up (you can always ask the parents of the four if they are coming - twouldn't be odd at all) and supplement the numbers with children of friends.

You say ds1 so I presume you have more children - would some of them like to come (and do any of them have slightly older brothers or sisters who would also like to come?)

lollipopshoes · 20/10/2010 18:55

not would some of your other children like to come... would some of their friends like to come

ohforfoxsake · 20/10/2010 18:55

Speak to the other mum, tell her whats happened then rearrange yours to a different time on the same day.

Not unheard of for my kids to have two parties on one day (oh how I love ferrying them around!)

Hassled · 20/10/2010 18:56

Just stick out a note to all invitees saying your party is now same date, but 2 hours or so after the end of the other party. Or same time, following day. You don't have to say why you're doing it (although the invitees to the other party will work it out). Hope it works out OK for you.

Original poster

thisisyesterday · 20/10/2010 18:59

the other mum already knows what has happened.
because we invited her son.

she just said to me "sorry, x can't come he has another party"

i only found out it was his own party through another mum!

ours was scheduled for 4.30-7 (so we could have cool pumpkins outside once it was dark and a bit spooky)
hers is 3-5

i kind of feel like why should i move mine when the invites went out on the same day etc etc
2 of the 3 who can't come are her child and his best friend.
the other one is someone that she had already spoken to before the invites went out

OP posts:

Original poster

thisisyesterday · 20/10/2010 19:01

i can't make mine later, but she could make hers earlier

OP posts:

alarkaspree · 20/10/2010 19:01

Have the other 4 guests replied? If not then ask them for a response, just say you've realised there's a clash with another party so you need to check who is coming in case you need to reschedule. That won't look at all odd.

If the other 4 have said yes then great, add another couple of family friends if you think you need to and go ahead. If only, say, 2 friends can come then you'll probably have to reschedule for another time. Which is a real shame. I hope it works out for your ds.

ohforfoxsake · 20/10/2010 19:10

Well, what you could do is start at 5.30/6, do some apple bobbing and games, a bit of food and take them trick or treating locally (if it's done where you live). Maybe get a couple of parents to come along at pick up time to help.

4.30 - 7.00 is quite a long party.

Bit off she wasn't up front with you though. I guess she was embarrassed she hadn't invited your DS.

Or, you could just go with what you've got and have done with it.

Original poster

thisisyesterday · 20/10/2010 19:13

yeah when we had his birthday party it was 2 hours and they all moaned there wasn't enough time to play after they'd sat and eaten. so we thought we'd make this one a bit longer

i guess i'll chase up the 4 that haven't replied yet, trying not to look too desperate lol

argh, i was hoping to avoid all this sort of stuff!!

OP posts:

ohforfoxsake · 20/10/2010 19:17

when did you give the invites out? Very rude of them if you have to chase them up IMO. What if they are going to the other party?

Is his birthday on the Sunday?

I feel for you, tis a nightmare when this happens at the best of times, let alone when you want DS to bond with his friends.

I'm trying to think of a plan B. Have you got any other times or dates?

Original poster

thisisyesterday · 20/10/2010 19:20

sorry it isn't his birthday party, both the parties are halloween parties
well... ours is a pumpkin party because actually they're at a church school and a lot don't do halloween.

but i digress! this is why i can't really move it to the next weekend!

we both gave invites out last thursday, so it wasn't ages ago and i guess some people are wondering which party to go to??

OP posts:

GingerCursedEeeee · 20/10/2010 19:22

Will the other mum let you know who else is invited so you can check for conflicts? Might be the easiest way to work out who is likely to come. They might feel awkward too if having to choose between two friends. I agree with starting your DS's party at 5.30. Good luck - kids parties sound like a bloody minefield, glad i've got a few years til I have to deal with them!

ohforfoxsake · 20/10/2010 19:22

ahh, I see.

is trick or treating an option? then back to yours for sweets and scary movie (£3 or £4 in Sainburys at the mo for Igor or Coralin).

It would be a shame (and pretty darn unfair on you) not to do it. I think you will have the better time if you can do it after hers as it will be later and darker and they will think it much cooler

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