Hi Im a bit of a floater here, and rarely post, so I hope you dont mind me asking for a little advice?
My Nan who has multiple system atrophy, (very bad) is having her 70th birthday next weekend, she has invited the whole family for lunch.
My problem is, I have fallen out with my toxic mother, and havent spoken to her for almost 2 years, (a few drunken rows on the phone and messages) she has turned my aunties uncles and cousins against me, including one of my brother's, that doesnt bother me hugely, I was never close to any of them, and Im definatly better off not having any contact with my mother (always had a crap relationship...very long story).. family dont wave or say hello to me anymore.
Basically, it's only my Nan who speaks to me, but because of her illness I dont like to bring all this up with her, She has never understood (or wanted to listen) why I hate my mother so much, she and my mother have a similar relationship, and have often fallen out, my mother told me several times she doesnt love my Nan.
Ok, so I did tell her I would feel really uncomfortable going, being surrounded by a load of family that have been blanking me for the last 2 years,.. when I said this she started crying and said I have to come.. she also said she thinks my mother wont come if I go, but there is a possiblity she may... I dont want to have to be face to face with her, It always messes my head up, and I get soooo angry when I see her in the car or on the street, she always looks at me with this smugness.. The thought of going really makes me sick, My husband doesnt want to go.
Other thing is Im making her cake.
I dont want to have to do it to myself, my Nan thinks the world of my Dc.. and it makes her day seeing them..I just dont know what to do... It will upset her so much if I dont go, but It will screw my head up if I go. I cant do false in this situation with these horrible people..what do I do??