Mum not made proper childcare arrangements.

[shootfromthehip]

Ok, I'll probably get a barrage of 'it's nothing to do with you' but I need advise please people.

The situation: we live in a small town and recently a mum, whom I am not close to, has returned to uni. I know that she hasn't got childcare in place after-school and her kids are hanging about, occupying themselves. They are both under 10.

I saw them in the community centre the other day and when I asked them where their mum was, the older child told me that they were waiting for her. The child then got the other child's jacket on and took him outside to wait for her as 'she'd be there any minute'. This was a lie as they went back inside the minute I left and waited for another hour and a half. I found out the next day .

There is no after-school club provision in our area and some days they go to clubs that other parents take them to and from as far as I know. However, this situation does not seem to be perminant and they are not looked after every day. I have to be honest but the whole thing makes me really sad and concerned. I know that another parent has spoken to her and nothing has changed.

Her circumstances are, from the outside, comfortable. This is not the first time she has been to uni and she has degrees/ qualifications. She doesn't 'need' to retrain iykwim and her husband works (I know I'm on a sticky wicket here as I don't know her well enough to know exactly what her reasons are). Her course is for the next couple of yrs.

She is a nice enough woman and her kids are lovely and so it's just so worrying to see them have so much responsibility at such a young age. More than that though, people are talking. If the school or SS found out she could be in trouble. As I say, someone has already spoken to her and nothing has changed.

I am upset and angered by this situation. WWYD?

advice!!!

bump

No experience of this myself, but I wonder:

Do you know the Mum yourself, enough to chat to?

Could you tell her that others are concerned and so you are worried about intervention?

If you do know her I would definitely raise the concerns of others, mention that it has been mentioned and so you are worried for the children and the very likely possibility that SS or others may get involved, but do ask about the arrangements that she may have made - it could be possible she has made arrangements with other carers that are not being followed.

Thanks Debs- know her well enough to pass the time but not really well enough to talk to properly without looking as though I was being a busy-body .

Get the impression that she has 'firm' childcare on 2 days- the others she is winging it. It's a small town here and the gossip alone would be enough to get her into difficulties never mind the reality. She is close to a friend of mine- who has already spoken to her- and I had hoped that things would get sorted out. Not really sure what to do now!

oh dear. it is a difficult situation to be in. i can only imagine money is very tight if she isn't arranging proper childcare, plus teh fact she is going to uni again suggests she is having to retrain. if it were me i would just meantion you saw her lovely dcs at the community centre and say something like, does the CM take them there to perhaps open up the opportunity for discussing it with her.

I know a couple of DCs in my town about that age (brother and sister) they hang about in the library not causing trouble. Their mother and father on benefits and really not looked after at all. I am worried about them and the library staff told me that social services knew about the situation but did nothing.

I strongly suspect plenty of nice middle class families 'winging it' with DCs under 11 leaving them to roam about while they go to work etc.

Thanks all for the comments. There may well be underlying financial issues here but I think that the issue is that the mum can't settle with one job. Even pre uni there was a sense that she wasn't so good about double checking her childcare arrangements but this is obviously a much more regular set of events.

Still not sure what to do but may just have to watch a bit more carefully and then speak to the mum.

Thanks again.

If the parent has been spoken to and nothing had changed i would contact Social Services.I couldnt just wait it out to see what happened as if something terrible did happen i would feel awful. Someone needs to safe guard these children.

Can the school speak to her? I know this is happening after school, but the staff should be used to dealing with awkward situations involving parents, and if they spoke to her it would seem less personal on the one hand but on the other she might feel she had to take it more seriously than if it was just another mum approaching her.