Hen night issues

[Threelittleducks]

Righ, this isn't too bad, but could really do with a little perspective and ask WWYD!?

Friend is having a hen night this Saturday. There are 7 of us attending. It's going to be an expensive night for all involved - she's having drinks in the house with an Ann Summers party and a stripper, then a Limo ride, then a night in a club.

Fair enough, but she wants us to spend £30 each on the Limo, spend a fair amount at her party so she can get the hostess gift and spend money to go to a VIP section of the club.

Being 32 weeks pregnant, I have already ducked out of both the Limo ride and the club. They will all be incredibly drunk by then, so being the sober heavily preggers, riddled with SPD one didn't seem like a good option for me! (not to mention they are all wearing crazy cocktail dresses, while I will be the one in the flattering black number which I have already worn to 2 weddings and a hen night already! Only thing that bloody fits!)

Got a text yesterday frm her bridesmaid saying that the stripper is going to cost £20 each between the 7 of us.
Know this is not a lot of money, considering I am doing nothing else, but am extremely hard up this month due to various birthdays, baby stuff to buy (including a double pram!!) and basically DH's wages were spoken for as soon as he was paid them!

I just feel it's a lot to ask folk - a lot lot lot of money to spend on the night - especially considering that none of us are good friends with her (our dh's all worked/work with her dp) and I'm really feeling like I do't want to go at all now - although will feel incredibly guilty if I don't. Also, £20!!!!
What do I do?
Go, and step out of the room when he comes in as I haven't paid my share so shouldn't watch (not that I really want to - last thing I want to see really in my preggers form)?

Or not go, as am not chipping in?
Kinda feel like would just be going to make up the cash rather than as a good friend.....hmm.

Put in 5 pounds and leave after he takes his shirt off.

Oh and they are getting married next wednesday. And dh already went on the stag extravaganza which consisted of spending £10 on a bloody t-shirt he will actually never wear again (emblazoned with stag's name on), going for an expensive Indian meal, getting shit faced and going to a 'booby bar' where they paid for the stag to have a dance and then heading to a club, VIP area.

Dh managed to duck out of the meal and the booby bar (would have been raging if he had spent double pram/carseat money on another woman's boobs!! Especially as mine have reached Dolly Parton proportions!!) but did spend about £30 in 2 hours getting the stag drunk. Oh and the bloody t - shirt!!!

Ha ha!! That's a good idea - maybe will do that!!Bet hes not even good looking!

Personally, I wouldn't go but I wouldn't have left it this late to say so. I fundamentally don't believe in strippers, so I wouldn't pay for that. After many hen dos over the years, I have come to the conclusion that I will only attend if they are very good friends, for whom I don't begrudge spending some cash. This hen do sounds particularly vile. I'll bet there will be penis straws! (At least you're not expected to travel to another country and pay for a hotel for the privilege).

As for what to do now... if you don't go or don't pay you are leaving the others in the lurch a little. Either go, pay and suck it up, or call the person organising it, explain that you are knackered and poor and can't really see yourself enjoying the even, sorry but you're going to duck out.

Good luck.

Don't go. Sounds like a nightmare. 32 weeks PG is a good excuse.

I went to my friend's hen weekend (chilled out weekend in cottage, indoor pool) at 14 weeks PG and a lot of people there said they were so impressed that I came when PG as, obviously, there was a lot of drinking going on.

Can you say you're not really up to it, and skint, and see if you can go out for a coffee instead? I assume the hen doesn't have kids yet?

Being subtle/understating pg woes didn't really work when I ducked out of a hen night - much easier to simply say 'I feel really shit and the baby's taken all of my money already'.

Ah yeah.

I've known about the hen for a while and genuinely thought it would be ok. However, the arms and legs have been added on as time went on - one week she booked a Limo (and I stated then and there I wasn't going in that)and the week after that it was a club lounge (which I said 'no way!' to) and then this week has been the stripper.

Would have been happy with the Ann Bummers party (used to work there, so lots of excuses not to buy shit - it really is all utter shite there! Overpriced rubbish!!) It's incredibly tacky, but would have been doable.

Maybe I'm the one in the wrong. My hen was a nice meal with a nice drink in the pub afterwards (was 3 months after having ds1 and was very ill with pnd!)

Comtessa - that cottage with the indoor pool sounds immense!!

Yes loopyloops, maybe I will just take a moral stance! Really not a fan of strippers when am not like a roundhouse. There's something a bit odd about one in her living rooom too. Somehow if he turned up at the club it would be less....awkward!!

No. The hen is quite anti-child.
She has openly told me time and time again that I 'freak her out' and 'make her realise why she doesn't want to get pregnant any time soon'.

Last week when I went over for drinks they spent the whole night talking about their sex lives (intimately) while me and sil (only 2 sober ones) sat and nodded and smiled. It was odd. Then they all got dressed in white see-through dresses, flashed their bits (very drunk at this point) and showed off tattoos/piercings they had.

What is it about drunk women who feel the need to flash their bits!? It's nice they are body-confident...but....?!

Funny bit though - she flashed her bush at my sil and said 'we keep this for marriage - don't shave until then, right TLD'sSIL?'
To which dsil replied in a very mono-tone, 'no, no we don't. We SHAVE it.'

Ah joy.

How embaressing! Nothing like being sober surrounded by silly drunks - FIL (70, v old fashioned) had one to many glasses of blue nun & started flicking peas about at Christmas dinner. So unfair as I normally only survive the ILs with at least a glass of something strong inside me.

If I were you I so wouldn't worry about dropping out. Suppose the question the other way round is would you be able to add fun & excitement to her big girly night?

I wouldn't go. It is money you can ill afford and, as you say, it seems as if you are just making up the numbers.
What is a penis straw?

To be honest I wouldn't go. Apologise and say that you weren't expecting to find the pregnancy so tireing and that you need to have a quiet night at home.

You could send a nice bottle or two of wine along for them to drink and seem generous but only be spending £10...?

Ah yes! Nice idea!

Yeah I am no fun at the moment. Not unless you count all the laughing they do at my big belly. And I'm fed up of that!

It's just no good when not as 'lubricated' as the rest of them.

No pun intended.

A penis straw is a straw with a small plastic pnis on the end that you drink through the eye of. It's funny for about....2 seconds. Before you get drink all over your new top - they are quite hard to drink from.