Sensitive subject, not sure how to put this, but genuine question...

[ladette]

Am back in touch with someone after many years without contact. I helped him through some difficult relationship stuff way back. He's been single ever since & claims to be happy with the situation - which he might well be. But he made a very odd comment about being on his own all this time - "but I am not gay" ...... why would you ever say that? He came from a very straight-laced, traditional background and had a very strong faith in a religion which would probably make it very hard if he were gay. I don't know if he is or isn't ... but I had an inkling that he might be gay when I first knew him. I don't really care whether he's gay or not, but I do care that he is possibly not being honest with himself and therefore maybe missing out on real happiness. Whether the being honest applies to his sexual orientation and/or his being happy being single and celibate. How would you handle this situation?

I would just say something along the lines of "well what does it matter?its no big deal either way" and leave it at that. He wont come out unless he's ready to anyway, but if he knows you wouldnt be outraged, then he can come out to you if he likes.

thanks geraldine - so far all I've said is "as long as you are being honest with yourself" - not focusing in on the sexual orientation bit - I find it more odd that he is on his own and says he's happy to be on his own - not that being in a relationship is the be-all and end-all, just doesn't seem right for him some how. Also don't want to intrude too much after a long time with no contact, but also because we were very close, maybe I can say things that others wouldn't. But maybe none of my business. Just feel that something's not right.

He'll tell you if he wants to I rekon, in the meantime just be a mate, and he'll know youre there if he needs you