Father Christmas is he real?

[prettyone]

I have a 10 year old and he is upset that the tooth fairy doesn't exist, he thought she was real till I told him. I'm dreading telling him that Father Christmas also isn't real. I want him to know this before he starts secondary school next year. I feel I've got my self in this mess by pretending he is real and not being truthful. I always expect him to tell the truth.As he does of me. I wish now I had never gone down the road of pretending he was real. What are other peoples views and does anyone have any advice!!!!

You need to explain to him it is a total fabrication and tell him why you told him these falsehoods. I can't imagine at ten he really believes in all that anyway.

Know we're going to face this one day too, and tbh, do feel a bit dishonest perpetuating the myth... However, my DD is still at the magical stage where she is just totally overwhelmed about the whole idea of it, but know her illusion will be shattered one day.

Can you answer questions WITH questions... or drop hints..

"Well, little children love to believe in FC, but when children get older they begin to realise that he has an awful lot of help form mums and dads..."

Just a suggestion.

This is why I have never done the whole father christmas, easter bunny, tooth fairy stuff.

Why lie to your kids when you expect them to grow up not lying to you.

We have never done Father Christmas and the tooth fairy 'for real', they've always known it's a game, but they are 'real' like that Gruffalo is real - real stories. We didn't want to lie to the children, and it does remove that disappointment when they find out 'the truth'.

Please do not lie to your children about this.....how can they trust us if we lie to them about made up beings like the tooth fairy, Father Christmas and God?

When my DC asked if FC was real, I told them that FC only brought stockings to those that believed in him. That soon stopped them asking.

LOL at all this "falsehood" and "lying" hand-wringing. Lighten up people!

OF COURSE you have told him he is real! He was a child FFS

What the hell do people who dont 'do' Father Christmas do? Just tell their 4 and 5 year olds it is a big lie? Seriously how do you do it?

I am more amazed he has got to 10 without realising tho, as most kids seem to suss it out at about 7 or 8

I would just as it is mentioned be more honest this year, as Nonnomum says

So SO at people never allowing their children to have those 2 or 3 really magical Christmas with the whole santa thing. We ahve loved the last years

bite the bullet and tell the truth. do it now while its august and you've got about a week until the xmas chaos starts.

its only a matter of time before he finds out from another kid - make sure its hyou :-)

Those that don't approve of 'lying' - does that mean that fiction books are banned in your house and you never go to the theatre/cinema?

DreamTeamGirl, our Christmases are incredibly magical. Ever since he was 3 ds1 has dressed up as Santa, and brought a present for everyone on Christmas afternoon when they open their stockings/presents. The other kids are SO excited, as is ds1, and it is just as magical as believing some man lands on the roof and slides down the chimney. And what's best is that it was ds1's idea to do this, and their faces are just pictures of joy. They all play along, and ds1 does a really good "Is there a .... in the room?" I wouldn't change that for anything.

What's more, the real magic for our kids is the nativity story, and celebrating the birth of Jesus. The presents and Santa are a fun extra. They love singing carols after lunch, and putting the baby in the crib in the nativity scene.

You don't have to have Santa to have a magical Christmas.

Of course senua, I make it clear what is pretend and what is real.

senua, obviously fiction books aren't banned, but nor do we try and persuade the children that they are 'real'. One of the first things they learn about books at school is the difference between fiction and non-fiction. Just because Harry Potter (for example) is fiction, that doesn't mean it isn't utterly magical and engrossing, and you can't lose yourself in it. But imagine if you could only enjoy it if you 'believed' in Harry and Hogwarts.

Treating it like a fun story works really well. And as I posted earlier, it means you never lose that magic, there isn't a moment of discovery, you know the score from the outset, and so the fun is never tinged with disappointment.

Thanks for advice. I'm surprised to that he believes he is real, but that is my fault for pretending he is!!!!!!!!!!! Nonnomum will try your ideas, thanks.

This Christmas my DD (4) and her cousin (3) (and all the other cousins aged 8 and downwards, had a visit in the afternoon from "Father Christmas", just after Christmas lunch.
Now, Father Christmas (or Uncle Paul) was in the WORST costume you could ever imagine... he even had to hold the beard on and just wore his jeans for trousers as the costume trousers were missing...
Well, this visit was the highlight of their Christmas. The bigger children who had cottoned on were happy to collude with the fact that FC wasn't actually REAL (just mad Uncle Paul), but they enjoyed the joy of the little children.

And even now, she will still quote what FC said to her that afternoon.

The adults were ROFL with the rubbishness of the costume, but the little kids just loved the whole magic of it.
And I think it's OK to wink etc to older kids and encourage them to work out the myth without totally disillusioning them...

Nonno, that sounds like our house, the kids know FULL WELL it is ds1 in a Santa outfit, but they are very well able to suspend reality and 'believe', even though they 'know' it is ds1 really.

It would be like if Dr Who turned up - they know it is really Matt Smith, but they can 'believe' it is the doctor.

I don't think you ever need to tell children that they don't exist. They'll figure it out for themselves.

I have so many fond memories of my brother and I trying desperately to fall asleep on Christmas Eve as our parents had told us that Santa doesn't come until you go to sleep.

When my brother and I were about 6 & 7, it occurred to us that a guy in a flying sleigh, who comes down the chimney to deliver presents sounded a little far fetched. We got it ourselves, we figured it out and from then on, we just humoured our parents. We knew he wasn't real, our parents knew that we had figured it out. but every year, they still did the Santa thing. It was nice. We weren't one bit upset or mad or anything when we figured it out ourselves.

You don't need to tell them anything. They'll get it and it's part of growing up.

suspension of disbelief is what its all about. kids enjoy millions of experiences knowing full well that the book/film/play isn't real.

fwiw my parents never once insisted that FC was real. i knew from v early that it was my dad putting the present on my bed on xmas eve but it was totally still magic and i still love xmas!!

don't think God is quite the same though.

How do you stop older siblings ruining it for the younger ones or do you just assume the younger ones will find out quicker than eldest kids