DS has a birthday party on same date that DH is going away and has said he could take children with him

[NoahAndTheWhale]

DH is going away for a night or so the week after next. He mntioned yesterday he could take the children with him so I could have a bit of time to myself. Am quite an insular type and so was inwardly getting a bit excited.

Have chcked birthday invitation DS got at the end of last term and it is on one of the days when DH is away. I have already said yes to party invitation.

Am torn between the two things but think I need to relinquish the time to myslf. Plus DH is staying with some friends who although they would probably say "oh yes it is fine for the children to come" might not really be thinking that .

What would people here do?

Birthday smirthday. Send a gift and an apology. Send it early. Send the children away. Sit in a bath and eat chocolate.

Time to yourself is more important than a birthday party IMO. Just say something has come up and DS can't come anymore but I would give a present and a card at the same time.

Are you both sure? . As you can probably tell feel a bit bad (and also not sure how much ds wants to go to party).

Do know where one of the inviters lives (there are two) so could give present to him and for the other boy as well.

Will keep considering...

No contest. Let the DCs go with dad. But let the mums of the birthday kids know that your's wont be coming.

Why don't you invite birthday boy for tea and then give him his present early. His mum gets an hour or so with him (hurrah), you get to jettison the guilt (hurrah) and for good measure your son gets to be with his daddy!

Let dh take the kids. Don't feel guilty - it's just a birthday party

The birthday child's mother will understand if you explain - I'm assuming you don't have days to yourself on a regular basis. And your DH's friends shouldn't make rash gestures they don't mean - you're teaching them a valuable lesson.

Have 90% decided DH should go on his own - they are his friends and really feel it would change things to add s couple of children to it. If I were going away with friends for a couple of nights I would actually be rather annoyed for one of them to bring their children.

And DS will have a party to go to which will be nice. Just hoping it doesn't rain all the tine both for DH and for the children and me.

Your husband's the one who said he could bring the kids, though, yes? And now you're deciding, for him, that it would be inappropriate and his friends might be annoyed? Are you a teeeeeeeensy little bit inclined to parent him, Noah? If he said the children could come, he might want to take the children, and I'm sure he's perfectly capable of deciding whether something's socially appropriate.

I don't mean to be harsh, I just think you're overthinking this, and in an attempt to keep everyone happy, are actually ignoring what they've said they want to do.

I am probably overthinking . Don't really think I parent DH though.

He was also talking about the trip yesterday in terms of not taking the children as he was mentioning picking something up in the car on the way back that wouldn't fit with children in it.

DH has said to do what I want but it isn't necessarily as simple as that. I want him to do what he wants as well. Am niceish person really :)

Oh I'm sure you are! That's what I meant, I promise; you're so worried about everyone getting what they want that you're overriding what they've actually said they want to do, you know?

If your husband has said he'll take the children, and you want the time to yourself, it seems like a no-brainer. But maybe ask your son what he'd prefer?