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Original poster

Weddings - thank you letter to hosts?

19 replies

Bumpsadaisie · 05/08/2010 15:05

Is it good manners for wedding guests to write to the hosts afterwards, saying what a lovely wedding it was and thanking them for inviting them?

I noticed that all our "higher class" (for want of a better word) friends did this after our wedding. My mother was most impressed.

OP posts:
justabit · 05/08/2010 15:16

I thought everyone did this? No?

Original poster
Bumpsadaisie · 05/08/2010 16:02

Well, at our wedding, it was particularly those of DH's friends who were boarding school educated and minor gentry types who sent my mother the most charming thank you letters.

The rest of our friends didn't bother and tbh I have never written a thank you letter after a wedding myself (though I do always go up to the bride's parents and tell them how great its been and thank you for having us).

Perhaps I am just rude!

OP posts:
justabit · 05/08/2010 16:12

very interesting. That's not my background. I guess that I just had a very old fashioned upbringing. Yes thats it. Maybe I need to join the 21st Century!!!

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minipie · 05/08/2010 16:26

argh

you've just reminded me I have two of these to do

Original poster
Bumpsadaisie · 05/08/2010 16:39

Justabit

I think its nice and it will make the hosts' day.

My parents were so thrilled with the day and enjoyed it so much, and when my mother got all these letters from these upstanding young men saying what a lovely time they had had, she was in paroxysms of chuffedness.

It's not much effort and you'll give a lot of pleasure. I have resolved to start doing it!

OP posts:
bronze · 06/08/2010 11:12

Not heard of it and DH definitely has never mentioned it and hes the posh one.

I do do thank you letters for presents though

angels3 · 06/08/2010 14:19

Do you know what, I never have, other than thanking them on the day, but some people use guest books these days, where the write to say that a lovely day etc.

Perhaps that is the norm these days, but letters are another lovely keepsake after the 'big day' so why not, as its something to show the grand-kids one day....

notyummy · 06/08/2010 16:42

When we got married, I would say about 1/3 of the guests did this - although nearly everyone spoke both to us and both sets of parents to say they had enjoyed themselves etc.

Since then we have written thank yous (although I have to admit I don't think we did before!)

My mum was also v chuffed.

Interestingly, most of the thank yous at our wedding came from the well dragged up pals of my DH (RAF officers) - although both DH and I are from sink comprehensives.

The nicest one came from one of my bridesmaids, who thanked us 'for the honour' and wrote the most lovely letter that I still have. She came from the same rubbish school as me - so class knows no bounds!

MrsChemist · 06/08/2010 20:07

It is good manners to write, thanking the couple (or their parents') for the invitation, but it's not necessarily bad manners not to, just so long as you feel you have sufficiently thanked them in person.

LucyLouLou · 06/08/2010 22:00

I buy a little card and send it to the bride's parents generally, just saying how beautiful their daughter looked and what a lovely day it was etc. I really did think this was pretty standard practice.

LittlePushka · 06/08/2010 22:52

I must say I never did it until I actually received some really wonderful cards of thank you after my wedding. I was so touched by them that I always sent a thank you for any occasion I attend. i also send than yous to friends of DC after birthday parties.

ivykaty44 · 06/08/2010 22:56

you should do this, it has nothing to do with who you are it is just good manners - the same as writing a letter to say thank you for the present you gave me for our wedding.

Clayhead · 06/08/2010 23:15

I always do it (went to local comp, working class Smile)

pluperfect · 06/09/2010 17:35

Yes, lovely and necessary thing to do. I also try to get prints of all the photos from the day, to include with the letter, as an extra token of thanks.

Madascheese · 06/09/2010 17:37

I always do this, I just think when yo'uve been hosted at any event it's good manners to write and thank the host(s)

A favourite photo or two of your own from the day is also a lovely touch.

'Tis nothing to do with how posh you are just how much class you have :)

pluperfect · 06/09/2010 18:29

Ah, what a shame you made that last little comment, Madasacheese! So many of us were frantically buffing our class credentials to look as "burnished" as Miss Joan Hunter Dunn!

Madascheese · 06/09/2010 19:43

:) Oh dear, so sorry to have spoiled the party...

Do try these, they're rather the thing in the 'right' circles

pluperfect · 06/09/2010 21:42

Oh, yah, thenks.

Mspontipine · 14/10/2010 22:16

Hmm no. But thinking about it the last 2 weddings I've attended I have received no thank you note for the thoughtfully written out cheque I'd written at their request either so I guess that makes us even eh Hmm

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