"But mum, he's scared of his brother!"

[OrmRenewed]

DS#1 last night after we'd said his mate couldn't stay over. Normally I'd have had no problem but it was 9.30 so short notice and our house is half-packed for a move and there is no space. DH and I agree that he couldn't but if they give us a not more notice next time that would be OK.

After boy had gone, DS said that he had wanted to stay because his brother (3 years older) beats him up. And he's been in a temper with him earlier and he was scared. He's had to go to hospital twice with minor injures (broken foot one) after a 'fight'. He lives with his brother, mother and stepdad. Dad is in Cornwall. He wants to live with his dad. Apparently his mum and stepdad try to stop this happening but they can't.

It sounds very odd. Is it a likely story? If so can I or should I do anything (apart from letting him stay when he needs to)?

?

Hellooooo!

It doesn't sound unbelievable, to be honest, and I would try to talk to the young man concerned, because at the minute all you have is chinese whispers.

It is a child protection issue, without knowing how old the children are I couldn't say how much of one, but certainly if this is true, then a child is having his bones broken at home, and this needs to stop as it is abuse. Abuse inflicted by another child is still abuse.

How old are the boys in question? And do you know the friend well enough to sit him down and have a chat with him about what he can do (Childline, police, SS if necessary).
It's perfectly likely that it's happening TBH. Actual siblings can bully and brutalize one another, particularly teenage boys. And if the bully in this case is a hulking teenager then it;s likely that his parents are scared of him too and some sort of intervention is needed.

They are 16 and 13. It seems odd to me as the 2 brothers are often together in the park and at our house and seem OK. Admittedly the older one is the chatty one and the younger boy is very quiet. He is a big lad - bulky rather than tall.

I was just wondering if it was being exaggerated for effect, first by the boy himself and then by DS.

But I will tell DS that he can stay over anytime he needs to this week and perhaps see if I can talk to him.

Poor bloody kid

I once supported/counselled a girl at Uni after I found her having a panic attack. She was terrified of her younger brother who had abused her for years, including breaking her arm, pissing on her bed and smashing her hand with a cricket bat (I saw that one, had to take her to hospital). Of course she was a young adult at the time but it had been happening since she was a young teenager. Her parents pretended it wasn't happening.

So yes, entirely possible that it's real. TBH I have no idea what you can do though, apart from what SGB suggests re talking to him about what he can do. I assume you don't really know the parents well enough to broach it? I would certainly talk to the boy himself first. Sorry not to be more help

Thanks

I don't know the parents well at all. Just to say hello to. It's one of the changes at secondary school - they make friends totally independently of you. I only met a handful of his school friends this year after he's already been at the school for a year.

I let him stay at their house on Saturday night as well And had a panic when he didn't get home on time and didn't answer his mobile. Would have worried more if I had known.

Orm - I think the best thing to do is tell him he can always stay with you (how far away are you moving?) and that he can come anytime and do as SGB said - talk to him & give him the numbers of people he can call - try asking him what he would like you to do?!

Also, if you haven't already and I suspect you will have!! Tell your DS that he needs to tell you things like that at the time, not afterwards, if he needs/wants help!

Thanks chippin - I did say that to him. Bit pointless to say it when he was already halfway home. I told DS to tell his mate that he's welcome anytime. We're only moving about a mile away.

It's good you're only moving a mile away - I've got a feeling you are going to be a bit of a refuge. I hope you can talk to him and convince him to call for 'help' when he needs it - poor kid. The parents need a good talking to.