My neighbour is accusing me of being a PEEPING TOM!

[adamadamum]

Hi. This is long, sorry! But your input would be appreciated!

I am having some horrible problems with my nest door neighbour. She moved in some two years or so ago. I wanted to be a good neighbour, as I am with all of my other neighbours. I was friendly, helpful, though I knew we wouldn't be good friends I wanted nice neighbourly relations! She happily sent her daughter around to play with my son and daughter. But one day it changed, she knocked on my door, accusing me of spying on her in her flat, with my back to her flat, with a mirror!

I had been in the garden with a mirror a few days before, checking for something in my eye, but certainly not interested in looking in her flat (which I had already been in once for a coffee anyway!!)plus, the fence between her flat and my house is high! And I'm not even 5 feet tall! Anyway, nothing I said could convince her. She was not willing to listen to anything I said!

Several months later, after having seen her on the school run most days, which was uncomfortable, she decided to talk to me, because the lovely woman who had previously owned the flat above her, had been on the Jeremy Kyle show. She hadn't instigated that, it was her sister, estranged from their mother. My neighbour wanted to tell me (she must have been desperate to gossip) that the woman who used to live upstairs had been having incest with her brother, and her children were actually his. All from Jremy Kyle.....

I knew this to be untrue, and said I thought it was unlikely, but to be honest was just glad that I didn't have to avoid seeing my rather unpleasant neighbour, and say a polite "hello" instead.

Well late April, her daughter was in my garden playing with my son (I am a forgiving sort of person!) and her daughter said that they're not allowed to play together at school.
They share the same playground, but she's in year 2, my son is one of the youngest in year 1. He'd had problems with two older boys in year 2(?!) and it had been decided that those year 2 boys should be kept away from my son.

The neighbours daughter, as I previously said, had told me that she was not allowed to play with my son, which seemed silly as they were playing at home, were next door neighbours, and shared a playground!

So I phoned the school regarding this, and was assured that this wasn't the case! I was told that maybe the girl next door had misinterpreted what had been said, as the two boys had been ordered to keep away from my son.

Ten days later my neighbour called at my house accusing me of complaining to the school about her daughter! Which I didn't do! She wouldn't listen to any explaination from me, so I asked the principal of the school to contact her again, to make sure she had it clear! This was done.

Well, a couple of months on, it's all escalated.

A last week I took my son to the children's recreational park. He wanted to explore, being only just six! He wanted to go down a path, not private, it leads just to back gates of some houses. I told my son it wasn't very interesting, just a dead end (though we had been there before, no problems, last summer - kids like to explore!!)
A woman appeared, the mother of my next door neighbour, shouting "YOU CAN'T GO DOWN THERE LOVE!" I replied, more calmly than maybe I should have, that my son only wanted to explore, and we were local (i.e. not strangers looking for trouble!)
She replied "I DON'T CARE WHERE YOU COME FROM LOVE! YOU CAN'T GO DOWN THERE!" Well my son was already going down there anyway so I followed, with my daughter. And my neighbour's mother followed us.

So as I felt a little threatened I got my mobile out and clicked to record sound!

Thankfully no more from the mother, she followed us then went through her back gate....
Less than ten minutes later when we arrived back home, next door neighbour appears, accusing me of taking pictures of her mothers house! Shouting, swearing, in front of my two young children. Her sister appeared, and joined in, accusing me of being a peeping tom, and harrassing HER!

Accusing me of looking in her window every night (like I have nothing more important to do when I am alone with a six year old boy and a disabled seven year old who is still in nappies and requires a huge amount of extra attention!)

I logged a complaint with the police, and also made a complaint with the housing association. What a surprise that she had done the same - she has more time than me!

So now it's my neighbour, her sister who lives very near and works in the local shop, her mother, brother and spossibly stepfather... Why would I, on my own with my kids, with no family around, want to intimidate a load of "people" like that?

But today after the complaint I made, the housing officer came down and was saying that she had made complaints about me, snooping (I certainly haven't an interest, if I was to look in windows i would try to find where Johny Depp lived!) and taking photos of her mothers back garden?????!!!!!

So I am being suspected of being the bad neighbour!

I am a good neighbour! Everyone else knows this!

So, advice, please? How would you deal with this?

It's difficult to say without knowing both sides of the story. Is it likely to blow over?
I would, however, stop having her kids over to play.

They sound like loons but getting your phone out to record conversation rather than just leave (or call the police, if you were that threatened)has antagonised them clearly.

Scurryfunge, I clicked on record on my phone, just in the same way as someone would send or read a text, the phone was around my waist level, the way I use it when texting. I did it because of the nastiness from my neighbour, to use as evidence, but they wouldn't have known I was recording evidence, in fact clearly didn't! The housing officer certainly didn't seem to have a problem with it! In fact she said it was a good idea! I also have CCTV at the back of my house, which I told her. Sadly I can't use it nuch nowadays without turning normal TV off, since the digital take-over, as they share the same av input thing! But she also said it would be a good idea to use it...

The neighbour has had it in for me for most of the time she has lived there (I had problems with the previous tenent of that flat(an unfortunate coincidence as I get on fabulously with my other neighbours)and lo and behold, the new tenent is friendly with her...)

The previous neighbour, to cut a long story short, became very attached to my daughter, as foolishly in a desperate situation I accepted her offer to have my daughter stay with her when I had my son (My childrens father had unfortunately disappeared, and I thought I knew my neighbour more than I did, obviously, and with no family around, I regret it obviously but at the time I couldn't think of anyone else, so foolishly accepted). She wanted to keep my daughter! All the same I didn't fall out with her, after all, she had looked after my daughter (though lied to me about what she had eaten, tried to make me seem like a bad mother from the moment I arrived in hospital)

She decided to not speak to me again, I only realised this a week or so later when I saw her in the street and she blanked me! I called on her later to try to work out what was going on and she was abusive, and since then I have been told that she has told some awful lies about me, and my parenting skills!

Anyone who knows us will say how much my children dote on me, and how well cared for they both are!

So basically I'm being ganged up on by the nasty neighbour, her sister, brother, and the girl that lived there before, because they are mates.

I am thinking about a slander law suit, or at least threatening one.

Though I am planning to move far away from this area, which will mean a major upheaval for the kids, but I feel it has to be done. I can't stand much more of this.