AMA I’ve nearly died multiple times 😅

[Blackswan5]

might be a boring one but giving it a go! I’ve very nearly died multiple times due to my heart. I’m doing better now but just thought I’d give this a bash in case anyone had any questions about what it was like or anything else!

(I tried to do this earlier and accidentally used the term ‘near death experience’ as I was meaning I had almost died, but didn’t realise until people commented that actually this means something totally different ah. Starting again and I’ve asked mumsnet to delete the original thread!

(https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/AMA/5547745-ama-several-near-death-experiences)

What's the difference between a near death experience and almost dying?

Sorry to hear about your experiences @Blackswan5 I hope this question isn't too full-on but has everything that has happened made you more afraid of death? Or maybe it's had the opposite effect?

Honestly I thought it was the same thing! I thought near death experience meant being so unwell you’re dying haha. Someone commented though saying it means when your spirit exits your body and takes a form? Never heard of it before but apparently it’s not what I was talking about haha x

Ah no don’t worry it’s not too full on at all! 😊

I would say a bit of both tbh. I’m not scared of it actually happening- I know not every death will be the same but when I was really unwell I didn’t feel really scared or in pain at all which I find reassuring in a way. It mainly felt like I was under a murky dark lake and for a lot of it I just didn’t feel anything at all, sort of like being asleep. I remember glimpses of it where I would have conscious thoughts and could see things but a lot of it felt like hallucinations. I remember vividly having a conversation with my best friend and I can still remember us talking about her wedding (except that didn’t happen, she was at home and I was in hospital) but I’d have sworn that conversation happened even though I know it didn’t. It’s bizarre! It felt peaceful though and didn’t feel particularly scary for the majority of incidents I’d say. I did have one or two times where I felt like I was in a nightmare but I think for those I was actually less unwell and more awake and so I was scared because I was a bit more aware if that makes sense. The times I was seriously unwell and out of it I felt nothing really at all other than just peacefulness

the thing that scares me is the foreverness of dying. It reaaallyyy freaks me out that it’s forever and an infinite time and can’t be reversed. That’s always scared me though so I think it’s just the way I am haha x

It's reassuring to hear you felt at peace when it was really serious. I am really scared of dying so it's interesting to hear your perspective. I hope your health is okay now.

How many times are we talking?

I have had about 6 near misses that come to mind but these are accidents avoided by seconds.

Actually now I think of it more keep coming 🙈

1. nearly drowned on holiday x 2
2. Stepped out and didn’t look the right way and was mm from being squashed by a bus
3. twice car incidents
4. nearly run down by a speeding police car by mm with no sirens on a blind bend.

Ahh I just read due to your heart! So actually nearly dying. Sorry I cannot read properly in this heat! 🫣

Oh jeez the idea of drowning terrifies me!! The bus one is terrifying too!😮

honestly ive lost count unfortunately! Lots of times ive been seriously unwell with it but maybe 5 or so times ive been extremely unwell with it I’d say xx

Thank you so much- doing much better now!

Ah I’m glad it was reassuring for you. I would say the times where it was most serious and I was closest to dying I felt nothingness but a sort of peacefulness too. Definitely not scared or sad or anything x

OP what drugs were you on when you said you felt peaceful? I'm trying to imagine what my mum might have experienced on EOL meds (midazolam and morphine). But maybe you were on something else entirely.

What happens when you nearly die? As in, what is it to do with your heart that makes you regularly so ill? Do you expect it to happen again?

You know that was also my experience of nearing death. I felt chilled out -- I actually found it a bit strange that everyone was overreacting and running about in the resus. I felt ok, like, I had a blanket and a bed and I was pretty relaxed.

I would not have guessed this for me. I would have expected to feel utter terror, as I have sometimes in other situations that felt like near misses. But the real deal, no, I was so unwell I didn't have the resources for terror, I think.

That’s so interesting @Melom not what I imagined at all.

Hi- I’m so sorry about your mum🤍

I’ve had various things but I honestly am not sure if I specifically had midazolam. I remember getting propofol once when I was cardioverted and I felt completely peaceful and relaxed on that. I don’t remember any of it and I basically felt like I was in a nice sleep x

That is exactly how I felt too! Xx

They don’t know the exact reason why but I’ve got different parts sending off really dodgy signals and then flips into a dangerous rhythm. I’ve had loads of different arrhythmias in the past which have all caused different degrees of unwellness but the worst has been VT. I’ve had pulsed and unpulsed and unpulsed is obviously more serious but I actually can’t remember a single thing about that because I was completely out of it! I’ve also my heart flip into complete heart block which was bad too. My heart was stopping for 9 seconds and I was barely staying conscious and couldn’t even even hold my head up.

I’m not worried it will happen again because I’ve learned to accept it’s not something I can control. It’s in the back of my mind and isn’t nice to think about but I don’t let it rule my life. We’ve tried various different corrective procedures and medications and it seems to be under control now. I’ve got a device in my chest now too for helping if it happens again! x

Do you have long or short qt? I remember reading about this. I am glad you are ok ❤️

Which arrhythmia do you have? Do you have a IUD?

No my QT interval is actually fine! Although I have heard of long QT syndrome causing similar arythmias but thankfully I don’t have that xx

Thank you so much! ❤️

I went into cardiac arrest a couple of months ago. Saw nothing, felt nothing, when I came round I was proper flighty and yelling/crying. When I went back to the ward they to.d me what had happened. The most memorable thing is how much CPR hurts afterwards, and how long for.

I’ve had SVT, VT and then I’ve also been in complete heart block and had tachybrady

as in the contraceptive IUD? No I don’t have that. I was on the pill for a short period of time though but came off it

in terms of devices I’ve got a dual device for pacing and a defibrillator (it only shocks if it detects a dangerous rhythm) x