I am a mum with an SMI (severe mental illness) (bipolar disorder) AMA

[Ama09797]

I am a mum to my 2 DC. DS 6 and DD 3

I have a diagnosis of PTSD and bipolar disorder. I'd quite like to break down some of the stigma so please AMA

What support do you have?

@Eufyon I am under a community mental health team. From there I have a community psych nurse and a psychiatrist. I also have a support worker provided from the council/a day service. I see my nurse and support worker weekly and psych every 6 months.
I can also access crisis services if needed.

Do you take meds for bipolar and are there side effects?

@TheyreJustNormalCheeses yes. I take 2 anti psychotics and a mood stabilizer. The worst side effect is I'm very tired a lot of the time.

I meant personal relationships

do you have a partner? Family support?

Presumably social services involved too?

@Eufyon apologies. Yes I am married but no family support

@Eufyon no I've never been involved with SS.

The SS comment is part of the stigma I wanted to break down. I've never been open to SS. And i struggle with the idea that just because I have bipolar disorder means I would be

Did you get diagnosed with your two conditions separately or at the same time?

How supportive is your husband with your mental health issues?

You say you have no other family support, donyou find this difficult?

I ask as I also have no family support and have had health problems. We've found it difficult for just the two of us to cope with everything.

Does your mental health ever impact on your ability to look after your DC?

@olderbutwiser I was diagnosed with PTSD much earlier than bipolar

@MigGirl my husband is brilliant. He works full time so I am with the kids most of the time, but he is my biggest cheerleader for my MH

And you clearly see SS support as something to be ashamed of.

whereas in your situation, I’d have thought it would have been a positive.

That's like saying anyone with serious health problems should have social services support, but they certainly don't have the resources to do that. And why would there be if the children are well looked after?

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask if a parent with primary day to day responsibility for two very young children has SS support given the above

The Op has:

a community psych nurse
and a psychiatrist
And a support worker provided from the council/a day service.
and see her nurse and support worker weekly and psych every 6 months

so why unreasonable to ask if any SS support??

Did either of your parents have bipolar?

Did you know you had bipolar when you had children?

I ask as part of the reason I left having children so late was because I grew up with a parent with bipolar and was aware developing bipolar myself was a very real possibility.

When did you first start to feel different or think you might be bipolar? Or was it more others who noticed when you were a child?

Do you think you'd notice early on if your children were suffering from it?

I hope it doesn't cause too many challenges. I know that being MI doesn't necessarily make someone a bad person or parent. X

@365RubyRed I definitely think it's impacted in that I often have to do things a little differently to other parents I suppose. For example, I really have to honor and protect my sleep as lack of sleep makes me really poorly so when I had my DC I chose to bottle feed so my DH could take over some nights, in order I got sleep. I had to take my meds while pregnant too.

I also have 2 appointments a week and my children have sort of grown up with these people around too. To them it's normal to see XYZ, we just meet at the park instead of somewhere else.

It's definitely made me more protective with the PTSD and more on edge.

We also go on little mini breaks with a council run service, like day trips me and the 2 kids and a few other families go with the support and I know that's different. But in my eyes my kids aren't missing out and to them it's an extension of their 'community' rather than it being odd.

In terms of childcare itself. I wouldn't say it's impacted negatively, they are very loved and looked after and I think I am very conscious of my parenting. If I feel I am struggling with things, the first thing I do is reach out be it 111 or my team because my children are my priority.

I hope that made sense!

Why do you have so many services/people involved?

I have bipolar disorder and I’ve only ever seen a psychiatrist (and that was just diagnosis and medication titration).

I don’t think it’s usual to have the level of involvement you seem to have, just due to bipolar.

I suspect that it’s very serious and there have been serious incidents in the past that have presumably required all this involvement

@Eufyon I don't think it's unreasonable to ask. But as you can see I do already have a lot of support... And those support services have no concerns and never have. The good thing about having lots of support also is that if there were concerns, they'd be spotted. I have an appointment in my home weekly for example. I take my mental health very seriously because of my children.

@SalmonOnFinnCrisp yes my mother has bipolar. She was untreated when I was a child which is partly why I take it so seriously. I know the impact of untreated mental illness on a child.

@BillieWiper I have always been under services as I had a very serious eating disorder. It was picked up as I was already under a Cmht

This is an interesting question now i think about it....

My parent did some fairly extreme things. They were often non compliant with their meds, we were taken on "adventures" and had to be found.... There was a driving ban some stuff that was definitely skirting the fringes of the law, domestic violence.....

As children we had nothing like this level of support and this was in 90s/00s when public services were vaguely adequately funded.