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AMA

I am highly intelligent, ask me anything

858 replies

nolinkname · 22/02/2026 09:01

Using standard IQ scales/assessments I am highly intelligent. I have also done some research into high intelligence. Being highly intelligent has advantages and drawbacks. Ask me anything :-)

(Just to preempt some comments: No, I don’t think intelligent people are better human beings than other people. I think qualities such as being kind are more important for example. No, intelligent people are not always ‘better for society’, there is some evidence, for example, that really highly intelligent people carry out proportionally somewhat more crimes (white collar). No, I don’t look down on less intelligent people (sometimes I envy them), but it can obviously be a bit difficult to connect if you have very different frames of reference. No, intelligence does not have any direct links to social skills (positive or negative).)

OP posts:
IfThen · 22/02/2026 19:29

CraverSpud · 22/02/2026 19:26

I am generalising but why do the really intelligent people seem totally socially inept & unable to form normal relationships, have few friends and end up the sort of person you dread sitting next to on the bus?

They don’t, though. That’s a myth. The friendless highly intelligent people are friendless because they’re socially inept, or have a neurodivergence that gets in the way of friendships, or didn’t have friendships modelled for them as children. Same as the friendless unintelligent people.

SixtySomething · 22/02/2026 19:31

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 22/02/2026 19:24

Sounds like you were probably let down by the school system failing to recognise your ability.

I'm a similar vintage. From my experience, people didn't care much in those days about recognising ability.
Of course, it happened now and again, but not routine and nobody's responsibility to do that.

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 22/02/2026 19:33

SixtySomething · 22/02/2026 19:31

I'm a similar vintage. From my experience, people didn't care much in those days about recognising ability.
Of course, it happened now and again, but not routine and nobody's responsibility to do that.

I had the opposite problem - nobody recognised the ways in which I was struggling (adhd).

Calliopespa · 22/02/2026 19:38

nolinkname · 22/02/2026 12:45

Yes, there are obviously a lot of times where there is not one answer (and I am often the first one to point out that you can look at something in two ways).

I'll try to think of a logical example. If you imagine that you're organising an event consisting of many talks for 100 people where some need to be in the same room sometimes, some must hear some talks, others must hear others. Some will arrive late and still cannot miss a certain talk. Add additional constraints etc. To me it would be a quick exercise to figure out how to plan that day. To others it would take quite a long time to think about this - I'd probably do it in a very short amount of time. I'd then have to spend time explaining 'ok so x needed to be there, and they are there; z and y will be late and that's been catered for...'. Not a great example perhaps but to give you an idea.

In my experience, the people I know who are very good at these sorts of tasks are often not all that particularly intelligent in an academic sense. Much of that is more practical skill. Not saying you aren't intelligent, just that people are all different. You can have searingly intellectual people who can't pack a suitcase (though to me that's more they just aren't interested in packing it) and others who, like you, are also bright but have good practical type skills.

IQ doesn't determine more than that: IQ. It doesn't dictate personality or emotional skills or ND or anything else.

Calliopespa · 22/02/2026 19:41

IfThen · 22/02/2026 19:29

They don’t, though. That’s a myth. The friendless highly intelligent people are friendless because they’re socially inept, or have a neurodivergence that gets in the way of friendships, or didn’t have friendships modelled for them as children. Same as the friendless unintelligent people.

Same as the friendless unintelligent people.

Exactly, and both exist - just as organised and disorganised, autistic and not autistic people exist in the top iQ scores, and ditto in the bottom IQ scores.

Things can co-exist, but one doesn't determine the other.

IQ score determines IQ, not eye colour or height or personality.

OneCoralExpert · 22/02/2026 19:44

I guess I am/was also ‘highly intelligent’. I got a 161 on the Mensa Cattell B test when I was about 14/15, though I never actually bothered joining, and I think it is adjusted for age so there’s no guarantee I’d get such a high score now in my (40s).

My experience was that I sailed through school and undergrad relatively easily from an academic perspective, though I struggled a lot socially and emotionally. My confidence, people skills, communication skills and emotional intelligence took a lot longer to develop.

I have a PhD in a humanities subject which was HARD earned. I found that at that level it wasn’t really about being ‘smart’ any more, it was all about discipline and hard work and perseverance and actually wanting to do the damn thing. I have a few friends who’ve told me they’re in awe and could never do a PhD because they aren’t ’clever’ like me and I always say that they absolutely could, if they could find something they wanted to spend four years researching. Whether they would actually want to, or whether it would be a useful/sensible thing to do are other questions entirely!

I’m now moderately successful in a competitive field (status-wise, not financially, sadly!) and some of that is definitely thanks to having ticked the PhD box and being perceived as intelligent. But I attribute far more of my (relative) success to being highly organised, a hard worker, and a good ‘team player’ as they say. I tend to get on well with most people and am generally well-liked. That definitely wasn’t me at school, though. That took a lot longer to come.

Basically I think being ‘intelligent’ can give you a head start academically and professionally but it will only get you so far in life and it is eventually outstripped by things like expertise, experience and social capital.

Doubledenim305 · 22/02/2026 19:47

nolinkname · 22/02/2026 09:17

Completely agree that IQ is just one measure, that's why I tried to exemplify. 'Emotional intelligence' is a bit of a weird concept though. I'd say I am as 'emotionally intelligent' as the average person, at least. I'm very sensitive and easily cry when I hear about horrible things or think about the state of the world.

No I am not autistic.

(I'll ignore pointless questions. Feel free to move to another thread if this does not interest you or you feel provoked, it is very common when intelligence is discussed.)

I'm not sure u have have emotional intelligence because a lot of the comments you make come across (to me anyway) as odd. Sorry but you seem to hold yourself and your abilities in very high regard, which comes across rather crass and ill judged.

LogicVoid · 22/02/2026 19:51

Do you think that there is a correlation between ‘higher intelligence’ and the experience of mental heath issues/experiences over an individual’s lifespan?

NeverDropYourMooncup · 22/02/2026 19:53

OtterlyAstounding · 22/02/2026 19:08

Well, it certainly wasn't very intelligent of your FIL to marry a woman who is less intellectually stimulating to talk to than a 4-year-old, was it?

But then, I imagine he didn't mind that so much when she was young, attractive, and raising his children Confused Gross.

He loved her. She was kind, caring, sweet and they were married for 30 years.

I do wonder whether he'd been having symptoms of Parkinsons when he decided to leave and this is actually a way of him being the bad guy, rather than expect her to look after him, become liable for care fees and so on, but it could be just as he says that after their children left home he realised he couldn't do it anymore. The absence of any new partner since he left to move into a tiny flat makes me think that it wasn't about physical attractiveness/wanting somebody younger, either.

pollymere · 22/02/2026 19:57

I've actually noticed that people who are truly intelligent don't talk about it...

Those that wish to have high IQs are the ones who are doing the sorts of puzzles online you find in the 11+. Those who are truly intelligent don't bother.

BooneyBeautiful · 22/02/2026 19:57

Nevermind17 · 22/02/2026 09:08

What is your understanding of ‘intelligence’? I also have a high IQ (156), but to me it means nothing other than being extremely good at IQ tests. I can still be a flaky dick at times!

Other than getting right through the 1% Club every week, I’ve never set the world alight with my ‘genius’. How has it helped you in life?

This has reminded me of a former NDN who had an IQ of 163. He bought some chilled chicken nuggets from Tesco. He thought they were cooked, so he ended up eating them raw and giving himself food poisoning. He did wonder why they were so chewy though.

OtterlyAstounding · 22/02/2026 20:17

NeverDropYourMooncup · 22/02/2026 19:53

He loved her. She was kind, caring, sweet and they were married for 30 years.

I do wonder whether he'd been having symptoms of Parkinsons when he decided to leave and this is actually a way of him being the bad guy, rather than expect her to look after him, become liable for care fees and so on, but it could be just as he says that after their children left home he realised he couldn't do it anymore. The absence of any new partner since he left to move into a tiny flat makes me think that it wasn't about physical attractiveness/wanting somebody younger, either.

I'm just going off what you said, which is:

(they separated twenty years ago because he couldn't face another 40 years of not being able to have any sort of conversation)

It's a bit silly (and too late) to try to reframe it now as him nobly leaving her so that she didn't have to care for him, especially as you say even now, he said he 'couldn't do it anymore'. And it's really gross, especially in light of the way you've described her as being so dim that she's both vulnerable, and less scintillating to talk to than a small child.

He obviously didn't think she was 'kind, caring, and sweet' enough to not up and leave her after they'd been married 30 years, and she'd kindly, caringly, and sweetly raised their children, kept their house, and warmed his bed for all that time. He might be academically 'intelligent' but it's clear to see what he prioritised in a woman, and that he's not all that nice.

It just goes to show that intelligence really doesn't count for a lot, overall.

SixtySomething · 22/02/2026 20:31

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 22/02/2026 19:33

I had the opposite problem - nobody recognised the ways in which I was struggling (adhd).

I didn’t mean recognising high ability in particular; I just meant no particular interest in differentiating, encouragement etcetera.
I’m sure it depended on the teacher and the school, however.

EarthSight · 22/02/2026 20:47

Is there any research into what intelligent people are interested in?

I've noticed over the years that the correlation between intelligence and intellectual interests is not as strong as what people might assume.

I used to know people who could learn things faster than me, no doubt (my short term memory is poor, sadly), and people who go higher grades in school, but they seemed quite dull people otherwise. Personally I've found the Big 5 personality traits quite useful in explaining why, as there's a weak correlation between Openness and I.Q but not a strong one.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 22/02/2026 20:48

OtterlyAstounding · 22/02/2026 20:17

I'm just going off what you said, which is:

(they separated twenty years ago because he couldn't face another 40 years of not being able to have any sort of conversation)

It's a bit silly (and too late) to try to reframe it now as him nobly leaving her so that she didn't have to care for him, especially as you say even now, he said he 'couldn't do it anymore'. And it's really gross, especially in light of the way you've described her as being so dim that she's both vulnerable, and less scintillating to talk to than a small child.

He obviously didn't think she was 'kind, caring, and sweet' enough to not up and leave her after they'd been married 30 years, and she'd kindly, caringly, and sweetly raised their children, kept their house, and warmed his bed for all that time. He might be academically 'intelligent' but it's clear to see what he prioritised in a woman, and that he's not all that nice.

It just goes to show that intelligence really doesn't count for a lot, overall.

I don't know. Nobody ever knows somebody else's true motivations, maybe I am giving him more credit than he's due and it was just coincidental that he started showing symptoms of Parkinsons shortly afterwards - although wouldn't a selfish, gross man then return, announcing that he'd changed his mind so that he'd have a house, a carer and funds for residential care at some point in the future?

In any case, my point was that for all her lovely nature, I find it incredibly difficult to connect with her because her world and world view is very, very different to mine, but FIL's is more similar even after brain damage from strokes and a progressive disease which will take his ability away from him in the end. That's because of something innate in me, not because I was frequently under verbal (and physical) attacks to make sure I never had any confidence or pride in my academic abilities/was actually incredibly stupid compared to a 45 year old woman whose greatest triumph was apparently pulling the wool over social services' eyes when they tried to investigate multiple non accidental injuries in three of her children over the years.

A 45 year old woman whom, incidentally, had she the ability to use and access to the internet at the time, would also have been first in line on this thread to tell anybody who dared to say they were academically able they were actually really, really stupid and everybody can see that they're trying to make themselves out to be special when they're nothing.

Daftypants · 22/02/2026 20:59

What languages do you speak ?
I am interested because while I’m above average intelligence and can manage to communicate in some European languages, I can’t get along with learning Japanese !

Solasum · 22/02/2026 21:14

babylone · 22/02/2026 09:19

What advice would you give to a mum with a (potentially) highly intelligent child ?
my child has not had an IQ test but teachers and friends and fanily have always commented on how smart he is and what an extraordinary memory he has - from when he was very young. One math teacher even rang me once to say that he doesnt make calls like this usually but my son gave him an answer to a problem in class that no-one his age would be able to get. The teacher said my son was one in a million.
teenage years are proving difficult, he is almost 16 now. Very little friendships, on the pathway for an autism assessment, self harming and under camhs. Camhs is saying the self harm is a (very unhelpful) way to find new experiences as he is bored intellectually (sorry if i am explaining this badly, im clearly not as smart as my son!!). We are trying to find helpful ways to challenge him intellectually and at the moment this is through independent cinema! And experimental music.
Although he aces maths and sciences - because it comes easily to him - he finds the rest of the subjects hard. I think he gives up far too easily on things he is not good at. If he can’t work it out by himself, then he is not going to open a book to read about it. Any advice appreciated.

Have you considered moving your son to somewhere highly academic for sixth form? Westminster maybe?

VK456 · 22/02/2026 21:15

I didn’t believe the poster was serious, but apparently, they are.

DottyDotsy · 22/02/2026 21:16

Son is highly intelligent and does really well at school (he was a Mensa member for a year but we didn’t renew the membership as we didn’t find it very helpful for us back then). Also very sporty so gets picked for A teams and county squads. I find it interesting that his learning style is so much different to mine but I think he struggles in some ways as he’s probably neurodivergent. He has a nice circle of friends wherever he goes and I think he’s quite popular, but at home he can’t follow simple instructions like put your shoes away. I think he most likely has adhd.

My daughter has never had an IQ test - she is very bright but not stellar like her brother. However she is emotionally very mature and I find comfort being around her. She is very picky with what she puts her effort into, though. If she doesn’t want to do something she absolutely won’t (she hates science for example).

My son on the other hand is always on the go and his brain buzzing all the time so it can be extremely draining being around him. However he will always find a way to understand a tricky concept, even if he’s not into it, so naturally he does well in most things.

Both have their strengths and weaknesses and I think that’s what being a person is all about.

OtterlyAstounding · 22/02/2026 21:19

NeverDropYourMooncup · 22/02/2026 20:48

I don't know. Nobody ever knows somebody else's true motivations, maybe I am giving him more credit than he's due and it was just coincidental that he started showing symptoms of Parkinsons shortly afterwards - although wouldn't a selfish, gross man then return, announcing that he'd changed his mind so that he'd have a house, a carer and funds for residential care at some point in the future?

In any case, my point was that for all her lovely nature, I find it incredibly difficult to connect with her because her world and world view is very, very different to mine, but FIL's is more similar even after brain damage from strokes and a progressive disease which will take his ability away from him in the end. That's because of something innate in me, not because I was frequently under verbal (and physical) attacks to make sure I never had any confidence or pride in my academic abilities/was actually incredibly stupid compared to a 45 year old woman whose greatest triumph was apparently pulling the wool over social services' eyes when they tried to investigate multiple non accidental injuries in three of her children over the years.

A 45 year old woman whom, incidentally, had she the ability to use and access to the internet at the time, would also have been first in line on this thread to tell anybody who dared to say they were academically able they were actually really, really stupid and everybody can see that they're trying to make themselves out to be special when they're nothing.

I just can't get past the fact that you said a small child would be brighter than her, and that she's vulnerable because she's so unintelligent, and that your FIL by his own statements couldn't stand the idea of spending another 20 years with her, without being able to hold an intelligent conversation, and yet he was just fine with rogering her for 30 years.

It's really struck me. Like, wow. Men, huh? Some of them might be so intelligent, and yet look at their priorities. A pretty idiot to use as a wife and mother until menopause strikes, and then hey-ho, suddenly they just can't be bothered anymore, and toss her to the kerb.

I'm not sure what your last two paragraphs are about. I haven't read all your comments on this thread, so I imagine they're referring to something you made mention of in a past comment.

Personally, I just think it's a little strange to do an AMA about how highly intelligent you are and then behave the way OP has. I suppose she's highly intelligent in several regards, but not as skilled or self-aware as she thinks she is when it comes to communicating with people!

Shouldgivethisup · 22/02/2026 21:21

Who, if anyone, do you most admire, please? For ease of recognition UK and / or US living folk. Thank you for the interesting thread.

Morecoombe · 22/02/2026 21:30

Sorry if I’ve missed the answer - but do you believe in god / a higher power / after life - why?

putini · 22/02/2026 22:05

nolinkname · 22/02/2026 09:01

Using standard IQ scales/assessments I am highly intelligent. I have also done some research into high intelligence. Being highly intelligent has advantages and drawbacks. Ask me anything :-)

(Just to preempt some comments: No, I don’t think intelligent people are better human beings than other people. I think qualities such as being kind are more important for example. No, intelligent people are not always ‘better for society’, there is some evidence, for example, that really highly intelligent people carry out proportionally somewhat more crimes (white collar). No, I don’t look down on less intelligent people (sometimes I envy them), but it can obviously be a bit difficult to connect if you have very different frames of reference. No, intelligence does not have any direct links to social skills (positive or negative).)

Did you get the Covid vaccine?

Gloriia · 22/02/2026 22:11

Morecoombe · 22/02/2026 21:30

Sorry if I’ve missed the answer - but do you believe in god / a higher power / after life - why?

I asked earlier if the op believed in ghosts I don't think they responded. It'd just be interesting to hear what allegedly highly intelligent people think of divisive/controversial subjects.

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 22/02/2026 22:19

Daftypants · 22/02/2026 20:59

What languages do you speak ?
I am interested because while I’m above average intelligence and can manage to communicate in some European languages, I can’t get along with learning Japanese !

Can I ask what you are finding difficult about Japanese, exactly?