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AMA

I homeschool ds16 AMA

39 replies

Gardengnome84 · 23/09/2025 19:50

Ds16 is taking 8 GCSEs. He’s audhd and suffers from an eating disorder as well as anxiety and depression. I’ve been fully homeschooling him for 4 weeks after years of trying alternatives such as part-time school and online schooling. AMA!

OP posts:
spiderlight · 24/09/2025 12:40

Not a question as such - I just wanted to say that my friend's son was in a similar position, barely attended school after about Year 8, and ended up being formally home-schooled for GCSE. Once the spectre of school had been lifted, he thrived. He did incredibly well in his exams, got four A and A* grades at A-level in college (which he attended for the first few months until COVID hit and everyone was taught at home), and has just graduated with a master's degree in engineering, having found a little tribe at uni. I hope yours does equally well, but academics aside, I hope he finds peace and wellness, physically and emotionally.

Gardengnome84 · 24/09/2025 12:48

spiderlight · 24/09/2025 12:40

Not a question as such - I just wanted to say that my friend's son was in a similar position, barely attended school after about Year 8, and ended up being formally home-schooled for GCSE. Once the spectre of school had been lifted, he thrived. He did incredibly well in his exams, got four A and A* grades at A-level in college (which he attended for the first few months until COVID hit and everyone was taught at home), and has just graduated with a master's degree in engineering, having found a little tribe at uni. I hope yours does equally well, but academics aside, I hope he finds peace and wellness, physically and emotionally.

That’s so heartening to hear and so nice of you to say. Thank-you.

OP posts:
Gardengnome84 · 24/09/2025 12:55

flawlessflipper · 24/09/2025 12:31

Where are you in the EHCP process?

EHCPs can fund exams. Whether that is realistic for next summer depends where you are in the process you are.

Have you already booked exams? Depending on the subjects and any access arrangements required, that isn't always easy.

What subjects will DS be sitting?

You would need some compelling circumstances and evidence, beyond that just needed for EOTAS/EOTIS because all such cases are complex, to be paid to deliver the provision. Where parents are involved, which as I said they don’t have to be, the vast, vast majority only receive funding for the provision itself rather than a wage for delivering it.

Yes we’ve booked them. Just got the bill today as it happens. We’re very very fortunate that we have a small exam centre a 5 minute walk from our house and they have indicated his access arrangements will be accommodated (not fully confirmed yet but online school were able to vouch for his normal way of working). But if there hadn’t been the exam centre local to us like that we would have done online invigilation, which, by the way, is very very complicated!! Not sure where we are in the process of getting the EHCP - had meetings with educational psychologist and social care last week? I know the psychologist was very keen to get his access arrangements formally included ahead of his exams. Why do you ask about subjects?

OP posts:
flawlessflipper · 24/09/2025 13:23

You need to know where you are in the EHCP process. You should count the weeks since the EHCNA request was submitted, so you know what week you are on. What about other advice and information, e.g. OT, SALT, psychiatrist &/or clinical psychologist?

I asked about subjects a) because you posted an AMA and I was interested, and b) you only mentioned GCSEs but private candidates mostly do a mix of GCSEs and IGCSEs because some subjects are harder to do as GCSEs e.g. English Language because of the speaking endorsement, geography because of the NEA, sciences because of the practical requirements. While in theory remote invigilation is possible in rare exceptional of circumstances for GCSEs, it is only routinely available for certain IGCSEs via certain centres and only when candidates don’t require certain EAA.

Gardengnome84 · 24/09/2025 13:32

rainuntilseptember · 24/09/2025 11:07

In what way did online schooling not work? I can see how home schooling can work well in any year except an exam one - I'm not sure how anyone can adequately prep for 8 different subjects without specialist help. Will there be coursework for any of the subjects?
I wish you luck and your son's overall health and happiness are the most important thing.

The short answer is he couldn’t keep up at all and would spiral. For whatever reason, traditional models of learning where there is a reliance on reading material and/or listening to the teacher, don’t work. He just can’t learn that way. He learns by ‘doing’, by being active in his learning. So I give him tasks that are varied and fun and slowly increase in difficulty. It’s interesting you should say that about needing ‘specialist’ help. In my experience the teachers that specialised in a subject, and who were familiar with the additional needs of children like him, were not able to reach my son at all, due to his difficulties of course, not criticising them. Whereas when I provide learning opportunities in the way I have described above, and that being in a safe place (home), with a safe person (myself!), leaving him unencumbered by anxiety, he is able to learn. But he is a very extreme case. I think perhaps he has school trauma which means he just won’t engage. So what I’m saying is, anything I can teach him is actually a bonus. As for my ability to do this, without specifically being trained to teach in that subject, somehow I am! He’s learning loads!

OP posts:
Gardengnome84 · 24/09/2025 13:39

flawlessflipper · 24/09/2025 13:23

You need to know where you are in the EHCP process. You should count the weeks since the EHCNA request was submitted, so you know what week you are on. What about other advice and information, e.g. OT, SALT, psychiatrist &/or clinical psychologist?

I asked about subjects a) because you posted an AMA and I was interested, and b) you only mentioned GCSEs but private candidates mostly do a mix of GCSEs and IGCSEs because some subjects are harder to do as GCSEs e.g. English Language because of the speaking endorsement, geography because of the NEA, sciences because of the practical requirements. While in theory remote invigilation is possible in rare exceptional of circumstances for GCSEs, it is only routinely available for certain IGCSEs via certain centres and only when candidates don’t require certain EAA.

Yes that’s right he is doing mostly igcses. He’s doing maths, English language, English literature, psychology (this one is gcse), art (also gcse), Spanish, history and biology.

Do you mean advice from these disciplines for the EHCP or in general terms?

OP posts:
Geneticsbunny · 24/09/2025 13:47

If he wants to go to university he will need maths gcse or an equivalent at some point at grade & or above. It is a requirement for pretty much a degrees.

flawlessflipper · 24/09/2025 13:49

I meant as part of the EHCNA.

Are you using a provider linked to the exam centre for GCSE art because the portfolio part?

Cinaferna · 24/09/2025 13:53

How do you emnsure he fully understands subjects you were weaker at (or are you equally strong in all fields?)

I could happily have home schooled in Eng Lang and Lit, History, RE, French and even bothered to learn another European language in order to facilitate. I could support learning in Biology, Geography, Art or Drama, maybe Economics at a push. But I would be so far out of my depth in Maths, Music, Physics and Chemistry, I just wouldn't know where to begin. They were DS's favourite subjects and he was fully reliant on his teachers.

Gardengnome84 · 24/09/2025 13:54

flawlessflipper · 24/09/2025 13:49

I meant as part of the EHCNA.

Are you using a provider linked to the exam centre for GCSE art because the portfolio part?

No art is separate. We have a tutor for that who is arranging the exam at a different centre. She doesn’t actually teach him but we liaise with her and send videos of him doing his art. She will grade his art portfolio.

OP posts:
Gardengnome84 · 24/09/2025 14:04

Cinaferna · 24/09/2025 13:53

How do you emnsure he fully understands subjects you were weaker at (or are you equally strong in all fields?)

I could happily have home schooled in Eng Lang and Lit, History, RE, French and even bothered to learn another European language in order to facilitate. I could support learning in Biology, Geography, Art or Drama, maybe Economics at a push. But I would be so far out of my depth in Maths, Music, Physics and Chemistry, I just wouldn't know where to begin. They were DS's favourite subjects and he was fully reliant on his teachers.

He did end up dropping subjects I was weaker at. Our strengths tend to align. Physics and chemistry I have no clue about and he wasn’t making any kind of progress at all in those areas and experiencing a lot of distress even trying to understand and I couldn’t help so they went. Same with some other subjects. I’m strong in all the ones he is doing except maths. I’m average at that, I’d say. Maths is his worst subject by far and I have been doing with him for years so I’m used to it now. Im not great at it but can teach him up to grade 6/7 stuff which is the limit of what he can do anyway.

OP posts:
Gardengnome84 · 24/09/2025 15:36

flawlessflipper · 24/09/2025 13:49

I meant as part of the EHCNA.

Are you using a provider linked to the exam centre for GCSE art because the portfolio part?

We are in phase 2 of the process, weeks 6-12.

OP posts:
TheLivelyViper · 24/09/2025 22:45

I saw you said about A-levels, I will say A-levels are so specialised, that you won't be able to teach him 2-4 A-levels well without capping hin at a certain level. By that I mean if you are at a 7 for example in maths as you said, you can't exactly teach him higher because your own ability is capped, that impacts his, so for A-levels if you were capped between B-D for a subject, he's also capped at that level. For A-levels, he will need a tutor, or something closer to formal schooling, perhaps through the ECHP you may be able to get a place in a special school provision etc if he chooses to do A-levels and not an apprenticeship or BTECs.

Are you sure he'll get his access arrangements? Online school depending on which one etc, doesn't necessarily always have to meet the same threshold as a formal exam, with JCQ etc and they may do it foe internal exams but it doesn't necessarily then transfer over. They sometimes need to do further testing, as it's not just you have x so you get extra time, or rest breaks etc. So ADHD on its own wouldn't necessarily mean he gets some arrangements or eveyrthing. As different people need different combos etc, so I'd check it's all gone through with JCQ and other bodies to be approved by them, if they do a spot check etc. He may get some but not all as well, so I'm guessing he has formal diagnosis for anxiety etc, so would likely get a smaller room with only a few people or a room with just him and the invigilator, but extra time, rest breaks etc, he may not get them all, so I'd get each one. Just because you want to make sure it's all definitely sorted and not leave it too late.

I would get him into clubs etc, brothers are great but he should still start to slowly get more sociable doing things he enjoys. So any sports or clubs, special interests etc. Also I'd start taking him to different places, like do 1h a week in the library, still the two of you but gentle controlled exposure over time will be good, as he grows in independence. Obviously at the right time but you don't just get ready for these things, your never fully ready, but slowly with you there is better than later.

Are his siblings older or younger? I'd still make sure they are okay, I know you likely do, and DS was in crisis but sounds like has improved a lot, but even if his siblings aren't that bad they still likely need lots of time and attention, and it must be so hard for you, but even spending 1-2h each with them doing an activity once a week, just 1-1 with both of them separately, doing a particular actviry they like etc, would be nice for them, they may not tell you as much etc, because they don't want to stress you out etc, but its good for them to get more of your time where you have energy, rather than when you are already wiped out. Not a criticism btw, you sound like you're very caring and DS definitely needed that but they have likely indirectly suffered from it, it's common when 1 sibling has more issues etc, it's nobody's fault but where you can try.

Bipitybopitybo · 01/10/2025 18:12

So I guess if you homeschool you can’t be fined for them missing school if you go on holiday? Would it be possible to take them on an educational trip?

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