I homeschool ds16 AMA

[Gardengnome84]

Ds16 is taking 8 GCSEs. He’s audhd and suffers from an eating disorder as well as anxiety and depression. I’ve been fully homeschooling him for 4 weeks after years of trying alternatives such as part-time school and online schooling. AMA!

How’s it going? How do you cover the curriculum? Do you do groups as well or all fully home based?

Did you try and get an EOTAS package of support from your LA?

I went through every subject specification and created a timetable for the year to make sure I covered every topic. I use revision guides, exam papers and online resources to create bespoke worksheets and lessons for my son. It’s going really well so far. He’s learning and so much happier. Learning is a priority for him and it causes him enormous distress when he is unable to learn and work towards his GCSEs.

I didn’t know this was an option. The only type of schooling ds can currently manage is at home and i wasn’t aware that I could receive any funding or any kind of package for that.

I know of a couple of home educators who have been in a similar position with children who the LA accepted they couldn’t find a suitable a school place for and they did provide funded packages. These were bespoke funding for online courses, tutor sessions and in one case a worker who could take the young person to home ed groups. In both cases it was a fight to get it though. It might be worth you asking Education Otherwise for advice.

Will you have to pay for the GCSEs yourself?

i considered home schooling my ASD teen but we were lucky enough to get a specialist provision place that was perfect for them in the end. But I did try to keep dc up to date with school work in the 18 months they were out of school. It was hard! Getting them to study at home was almost impossible. And although I got my GCSE’s and A levels I was massively out of my depth to teach today’s GCSE’s. Best of luck to you honestly.

what’s your plans post GCSE’s? Will you be considering college?

what % of his time is spent in your house? I often think if she wasn’t forced to go out for school and clubs my dd would stay home the whole time. A lot of kids locally study together in the cafe foyer of our local library and leisure centre - do you ever just go elsewhere to study for a change of scene?

He rejects any notion of studying elsewhere on the basis he would lose time and would never consider getting to know other home educated kids. We’ve so often been in crisis with depression, anxiety, eating and only just now starting to see an improvement. I guess somewhere down the line, if he remains stable, I will think about how to help him socialise more or get out more. Fortunately, he has two brothers, and one in particular that he is very close to - his brother is probably his favourite person in the world and they spend a lot of time together. His brother is very very good with him.

How do you combine this with your job?

Honestly, keeping him well is the hard part. Me getting to grips with the GCSEs is a walk in the park by comparison!! Especially seeing that it is effective and he is happy when he is learning. Seeing him thrive and being happy in the moment is incredibly motivating. We are all as a family scarred by the lows we have been through with him and would do ANYTHING to avoid going backwards.

I forgot to answer your question about college. I think it all hangs on how he manages this year and actually sitting his GCSEs and then of course his results. Assuming he manages, I think he would plan to do his A levels and then go on to university. University seems an almost impossible goal right now but that’s what he wants and I’ve heard that things can improve as they age… I don’t know. I’m guessing he would like to be home educated through his A levels too. I could probably do that.

I don’t work. This is my work right now. I know ds is lucky in this regard. But he is also very unlucky that he isn’t able to manage at school. I don’t know what would have happened to him if I wasn’t able to care for him at home.

That’s interesting. I wonder if they could fund me? Ds won’t even consider a tutor or anything like that and he wouldn’t learn with a tutor I don’t think. We tried online schooling and it didn’t work.

I hope you enjoy the journey, long term home Ed mum of 15 (ASD + ADD, Dyslexia) and 10 (ADHD, PDA, Dyslexia). Keeping him well is all that matters now you are doing 100% the right thing and I hope the scars begin to heal

Thank-you. Over the years I’ve had to learn the hard way that my instincts as his mother is the most protective thing we have in our tool box. It’s so hard to go against the grain - taking him out of school in the first place, then withdrawing him from online schooling, and crucially managing his issues by ourselves rather than seeking outside help. But every time we have seen improvement. He is sitting across from me right now, watching his favourite show (seen entire series over ten times - classic) in a break and he is relaxed and content. We are a million miles away from the messages he used to send me when he was at school saying he wished he was dead…

Is DS going to sit GCSEs this academic year? If so, have you booked exams yet? What subjects is DS going to sit exams in?

Personal budgets for elective home education are rare. And getting even less common than they were. They are usually limited in amount too. There are some FOI responses on whatdotheyknow if you are interested in looking at your LA’s numbers.

You could pursue EOTAS/EOTIS via an EHCP. That is possible if it is inappropriate for provision to be made in a school. These are bespoke packages. What they include varies depending on DC’s needs and what provision they require. They don’t have to include tuition. But it wouldn’t be a quick process. Many have to appeal for a comprehensive EOTAS/EOTIS package. Parents can choose to be involved in provision but they can’t be compelled to be because the LA is still responsible. It is also very unusual for parents to be paid a wage - I know a few cases where there are unusual (even by EOTAS/EOTIS standards) situations. If you didn’t want to EHE in the meantime, you could request section 19 provision.

What’s your own level of education?

is his dad able to spend time teaching him too?

No, I haven’t really analysed it too much but we have tried his dad being more involved and it doesn’t work. perhaps because I’ve been teaching ds on and off ever since lockdown, perhaps because I have always been the primary carer, and again perhaps because of my experience in work and my own personal skill set, it works when I do it.

Degree level

We are actually right in the middle of sorting an EHCP right now. I could maybe ask about this. I do think our situation is unusual. We are getting EHCP ball rolling because it makes sense to have that in place for him going forward but also we are not asking for anything. You know, it’s always been challenging, the admin side of things, because just parenting ds has taken everything I have and then anything that’s left is devoted to his siblings. I don’t have energy left over to be really on top of the admin.

Ds is sitting his exams this year, 8 GCSEs. Can this be funded via his EHCP?

In what way did online schooling not work? I can see how home schooling can work well in any year except an exam one - I'm not sure how anyone can adequately prep for 8 different subjects without specialist help. Will there be coursework for any of the subjects?
I wish you luck and your son's overall health and happiness are the most important thing.

Where are you in the EHCP process?

EHCPs can fund exams. Whether that is realistic for next summer depends where you are in the process you are.

Have you already booked exams? Depending on the subjects and any access arrangements required, that isn't always easy.

What subjects will DS be sitting?

You would need some compelling circumstances and evidence, beyond that just needed for EOTAS/EOTIS because all such cases are complex, to be paid to deliver the provision. Where parents are involved, which as I said they don’t have to be, the vast, vast majority only receive funding for the provision itself rather than a wage for delivering it.