I was a 1980's child with undiagnosed autism AMA

[Shelteringfromthestorm]

I went through school knowing I was different.

I discovered for myself that I have autism when studying child development at college aged 17.

So were my daughter born 1985 and 1993.
We didn't realise until their sons were diagnosed.. it was put down to anxiety and MH problems.. both officially diagnosed.
Obviously l have it.. not been officially diagnosed.. but I'm 66.. my therapist believes l have it .
Daughters needed diagnosed for job situations.

Interesting thread, thank you!

Do you think that knowing your diagnosis would have made a difference to your school experience? Are there any reasonable accommodations you missed out on?
Did anyone else know about your autism before you did? (My sibling, as far as I know, is still unaware that they are autistic...! It was felt that a label would not help.)

Thank you.

I think knowing my diagnosis in childhood would have made a difference to my school experience.
I think in particular the teachers would have understood me better. They thought I was being deliberately difficult when I didn't talk to them. In reality I wanted to talk, but it was as though an invisible barrier came down.
I was often labelled "stupid" by teachers and "odd" by classmates.

I missed out on a lot through not having the confidence to join in - parties, school trips etc. I think if I had a diagnosis I may have been able to take part with support.

I often wonder if my parents knew I was autistic, but we're in denial.
As a young child I used to rock back and forth for comfort. My dad would always tell me to stop.

I'm really sorry you had a rough time <3

I could have written this! Born in the late 80s. Have my autism assessment coming up in a few weeks.

I was born in the 1960s and diagnosed in the 2010s with adhd. Currently awaiting autism assessment.

I wish there had been the recognition of difference and the support. Not just the diagnosis because with no realisation of difference and no support the diagnosis wouldn’t have made a difference.

I was regularly spanked for being odd, having food issues was a disaster as I was forced to fed, my behaviour was called bad (even though really it wasn’t even bad) and I was often punished.

with a diagnosis, unless that went along with a change in behaviour of those around me, it would have been pointless.

Me too, and I’m suspicious that my mum knew something was up but didn’t want to have a child with something wrong. I got screamed at for walking on my tip toes.

Interesting thread.
I'm awaiting assessment as my ADHD assessor said I was hyper active impulsive type with ASD traits.
I'm late 50 s now and like you I didn't like school trips I went to parties and had some friends.
Personally I'm glad I never had a label until now.
In what way did you know that you were different?

Originalusername2 same until I was late 20s

I also could have written this. I got diagnosed with AuDHD in my forties. As a child I stimmed a lot, like you I was told off for it. I had food issues and remember regularly being forced to stay at the table after everyone else had left to finish every scrap, even though I was gagging. It’s caused life long food issues. I was bullied horrendously and no one helped. My mum said I brought it on myself because I was difficult and that I should act more normal. That too has caused life long issues with self esteem and confidence. I struggled to make friends, struggled to understand the social side of school and although very academic and high achieving in education, I have achieved very little in my adult life because those same issues followed me into the workplace.

Ot makes me so sad when I hear parents who suspect their child is on the spectrum, but refuse to have them assessed, because they are missing out on so much support and the ability to understand and forgive themselves.

It was when I started school and realised that the other children could do things naturally that I found difficult.
I didn't know how to talk to the teacher, so I would stay silent.
At playtimes I would wander around on my own, not knowing how to join in with the games.
I couldn't cope with the classroom noise and would rock on my chair with my hands on my ears.

I've had my autism assessment and they confirmed i am autistic. The dr said it was one of the easiest adult autism assessments he has done as it was so obvious I'm autistic. Now I'm trying to process it and work out who to tell and how to tell them

I think my DB, in his 50s, is autistic with a mild learning disability. I know he wouldnt react well if this was raised with him.

He struggles to find a job and hold down a job and at the moment struggles as his benefits are not enough to cover his rent and bills. He has been financially supported all his life by my parents.

I feel he has limited capacity to work and would like him to be assessed in order that he might be able to get some help. However, I'm worried about approaching this with him. Any advice please?

Same here - born in 1985 and not diagnosed until I was 35.

Always knew I was different but I was very much the high-functioning Asperger's type who was too clever for their own good and didn't realise nobody likes a smart arse. Absolutely desperate to fit in and have friends but somehow it never seemed to work and the 'friends' I did have bullied me relentlessly because I was an easy target. I genuinely don't think my parents had any idea just because it wasn't a 'thing' back then, and I kept all my struggles to myself as my home life was incredibly chaotic without me piling more worries on