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AMA

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

I receive PIP and UC for MH reasons, AMA.

40 replies

ButTheDolphins · 07/09/2025 18:56

I have name changed for this. I receive benefits for MH reasons and there has been an influx of threads on MN in recent months about benefits for those with what are perceived to be invisible disabilities, benefit ‘fraud’, and lots of misinformation about autism and adhd and so on. So go ahead and ask me anything.

OP posts:
mintydoggyv · 09/09/2025 16:06

ButTheDolphins · 08/09/2025 01:14

I receive the standard daily rate for pip which is £400 a month. I also receive the LCWRA (low capacity for work & work related activity) element of UC which is around the same, however this is often lower as my husband works full time and we have a joint claim. Last month it was £65.

Can't give figures, the dwp take both income s into account sorry that's how it works lovely person . William dwp

TheSpiritofDarkandLonelyWater · 11/09/2025 20:40

Hi OP I am also on UC and PIP for mental health and also autism.

Do you feel that you are judged more compared to someone with an obvious disability? How do you deal with it?

Aweekoffwork · 11/09/2025 20:49

Have your several attempts to end your life been more of a ‘cry for help’?

ButTheDolphins · 30/09/2025 20:55

TheSpiritofDarkandLonelyWater · 11/09/2025 20:40

Hi OP I am also on UC and PIP for mental health and also autism.

Do you feel that you are judged more compared to someone with an obvious disability? How do you deal with it?

Hi, I’m sorry I haven’t been in here a while and didn’t think there would be any more responses as it went quiet after the first few posts.

To answer your question, yes I do feel very judged. I don’t deal with it really, I’ve become more isolated than ever. I don’t feel comfortable telling people about my diagnosis anymore. I have heard all sorts from people in my actual life and the online discourse is considerably worse, so I spend 90%+ of my time at home.

OP posts:
Newsenmum · 30/09/2025 21:00

Good on your for taking the time ro prioritise your health instead of going straight into another crisis mode. This is what benefits are actually for and you deserve to make use of them. Youve worked for a long time and paid into them so now you need them. I hope things get better for you.

ButTheDolphins · 30/09/2025 21:04

Aweekoffwork · 11/09/2025 20:49

Have your several attempts to end your life been more of a ‘cry for help’?

I’ve made 4 attempts over more than three decades. No, I don’t think it is. I have been struggling with my issues for a very long time and have managed to get through a great many extremely low, dark periods without resorting to that. I can’t explain the desperation and exhaustion that comes with the constant uphill battle on a daily basis that no one seems to understand, and fighting my way through those periods over and over and over again only for the cycle to just keep turning but I very much came to the end of my tether and just wanted out. I have some severe health repercussions as a result of the methods I used that can never be reversed.

OP posts:
Newsenmum · 30/09/2025 21:06

ButTheDolphins · 30/09/2025 21:04

I’ve made 4 attempts over more than three decades. No, I don’t think it is. I have been struggling with my issues for a very long time and have managed to get through a great many extremely low, dark periods without resorting to that. I can’t explain the desperation and exhaustion that comes with the constant uphill battle on a daily basis that no one seems to understand, and fighting my way through those periods over and over and over again only for the cycle to just keep turning but I very much came to the end of my tether and just wanted out. I have some severe health repercussions as a result of the methods I used that can never be reversed.

Edited

Im so sorry to hear this. Are you having regular help atm like any kind of ongoing therapy?

How old are your children?

ButTheDolphins · 30/09/2025 21:15

Newsenmum · 30/09/2025 21:06

Im so sorry to hear this. Are you having regular help atm like any kind of ongoing therapy?

How old are your children?

I do now have ongoing treatment and am on a different medication which actually, finally seems to be helping.

Im not comfortable answering questions about my children here but I’m happy for you to DM me if you’d like.

OP posts:
Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 30/09/2025 21:24

You have several children? How many? Are they all still at home?

Are they getting support for your suicide attempts too?

ButTheDolphins · 30/09/2025 21:44

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 30/09/2025 21:24

You have several children? How many? Are they all still at home?

Are they getting support for your suicide attempts too?

6 in total. 4 living here as the eldest are grown up and moved out. Only one attempt has happened in our home and none of them were here. They know I have health issues and have to go to hospital sometimes, that’s the extent of their knowledge on the situation.

OP posts:
Craftysue · 30/09/2025 21:53

My brother has bi polar and anxiety and he always says he wishes he had a physical issue instead - he's not looking for sympathy but he feels judged for having poor mental health. I'm sorry that you also feel judged. Just wanted to wish you all the best

converseandjeans · 30/09/2025 22:01

@ButTheDolphins you say you have 6 children. Do they all work or do you envisage them also needing benefits for similar issues to those you have? Wasn’t it stressful having so many if you struggle to the point you are attempting suicide?

I’m sympathetic to your situation btw. I’d prefer to work & not be depressed to the point of being suicidal.

ButTheDolphins · 30/09/2025 22:45

converseandjeans · 30/09/2025 22:01

@ButTheDolphins you say you have 6 children. Do they all work or do you envisage them also needing benefits for similar issues to those you have? Wasn’t it stressful having so many if you struggle to the point you are attempting suicide?

I’m sympathetic to your situation btw. I’d prefer to work & not be depressed to the point of being suicidal.

Eldest two are in university and working part time and seemingly doing well. Third child is in the armed forces, also seemingly doing well.

Fourth child much like the eldest 2 were at that age, doing well academically, struggling in every other sense. Often has school refusal and fairly severe social issues but loves to do the work that school sends home. Spends a lot of time online learning about things that interest them but has no friends or social life. I get regaled often in great detail about historical events and geography in particular.

Fifth child is not a talker but sings or hums almost constantly (even in sleep sometimes). Bright enough but not interested in learning, pretty much just stimming and sensory seeking 24/7.

Youngest is pretty much text book ADHD. They also have no thought for their own safety, no concept of danger, no concept of the consequences of their actions, hurts themself often by being so physically hyper and sometimes hurts others by accident (me usually)

My older kids are doing much better than I ever was at their ages. I do think that increased awareness, support and their earlier diagnoses’ have enabled them to manage their issues better and helped them to learn how to live with them constructively. My biggest worry is for the youngest 3. They may well need additional support later in life but I thought that about my eldest and they are absolutely flying now.

I had a very different upbringing to my children which may or may not have played a part in why I am the way I am, but I did manage to work for a long time before I burned out and am still recovering which could happen to any of them. All that to say, I think it’s too early to tell.

OP posts:
mintydoggyv · 30/09/2025 23:08

ButTheDolphins · 07/09/2025 18:56

I have name changed for this. I receive benefits for MH reasons and there has been an influx of threads on MN in recent months about benefits for those with what are perceived to be invisible disabilities, benefit ‘fraud’, and lots of misinformation about autism and adhd and so on. So go ahead and ask me anything.

You are ill , an unseen illness and you are on your income because you are ill , that's why we all pay into it national insurance, the main thing is your own health and you getting to a better place for you , work does not even come into it . It's great that you look after your lovely children and love gardening as well, the main thing is for you to be in a better MH place , l send all my best and hope you get there , what others think does mean nothing , you are improving , keep talking to your health people ,you are making great progress ,being in a dark place is dreadfull been there as well myself l am over most of it l am mid 70 s . Thinking of you always remember you are a great person and it takes time with MH to um let's say get there all the very very best William

converseandjeans · 30/09/2025 23:32

ButTheDolphins · 30/09/2025 22:45

Eldest two are in university and working part time and seemingly doing well. Third child is in the armed forces, also seemingly doing well.

Fourth child much like the eldest 2 were at that age, doing well academically, struggling in every other sense. Often has school refusal and fairly severe social issues but loves to do the work that school sends home. Spends a lot of time online learning about things that interest them but has no friends or social life. I get regaled often in great detail about historical events and geography in particular.

Fifth child is not a talker but sings or hums almost constantly (even in sleep sometimes). Bright enough but not interested in learning, pretty much just stimming and sensory seeking 24/7.

Youngest is pretty much text book ADHD. They also have no thought for their own safety, no concept of danger, no concept of the consequences of their actions, hurts themself often by being so physically hyper and sometimes hurts others by accident (me usually)

My older kids are doing much better than I ever was at their ages. I do think that increased awareness, support and their earlier diagnoses’ have enabled them to manage their issues better and helped them to learn how to live with them constructively. My biggest worry is for the youngest 3. They may well need additional support later in life but I thought that about my eldest and they are absolutely flying now.

I had a very different upbringing to my children which may or may not have played a part in why I am the way I am, but I did manage to work for a long time before I burned out and am still recovering which could happen to any of them. All that to say, I think it’s too early to tell.

Aah it sounds like you have a great family & they are thriving. You might find the younger ones do well with support in place. There’s lots more choice of jobs nowadays. As they get older they will be a support to you & so you won’t ever be alone.

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