I got out of an abusive marriage ama

[ChersHandbag]

That’s it really. 10+ years marriage, abusive from
the start, coercive control, love bombing, rushed into marriage etc.

Happy to help anyone in similar circs.

I have no question to ask, but I have also previously left an abusive relationship, albeit was only with him for just shy of three years, and that was hard enough. I can’t imagine how hard it would have been after ten years and I feel proud of you, I hope you do too xx

Thanks. And well done to you too.

Congratulations to you and @JackGeller I’m so glad you’re both free from that.

My question is, advice would you give to someone currently in an abusive relationship? Were there any particular resources or strategies which helped you escape?

You say the marriage was abusive from the start, any reason you didn't leave at the beginning?

Do you have DCs and if so did this help you leave and do they still see him?

Unfortunately the only thing that led me to getting free in the end was reaching the limit of what I could take. I became very unwell.

It was abusive from the start: what coercive controllers do is make you feel bound in. It’s very clever. I tried to leave many times but he made me feel so ashamed, was so persistent, and sometimes physically trapped me in the house, stalked me— all of it. It gets you in a cycle it’s hard to escape from.

The children don’t see him, he ghosted and abandoned them when his control of me was over.