I am a recovering orthorexic, AMA!

[MicroCrisis]

In therapy, second attempt, doing very well now - first attempt was a disaster, asked me to focus more on nutrition, lol.
Not interested in internet 'doctors', so had that going for me at least.

What made the connection that got your diagnosis?

My Partner. He very gently observed my meltdowns in supermarkets, how I often left without purchasing, and often after purchasing i felt I couldn't eat the food.

I somehow already knew this, but it is so insidious, it hides behind a keen interest in health and nutrition.

What advice helped you? Can you recommend any books or videos? My mother has orthorexia and I would like to send her some resources.

She's not diagnosed but I'm certain she has it. Her BMI is 15.8 and she refuses to eat anything "unhealthy" and is terrified of saturated fat and anything sugary or "bad". She claims she wants to gain weight but only what she calls "the right sort of weight" i.e. muscle (good luck with that at 78 yrs old) and not "flab" (her word). BMI that low and scared of flab... It's heartbreaking.

She has a dietitian but either the dietitian hasn't grasped the situation or isn't getting through to my mum because she's still convinced that she can magically gain weight while eating what people would normally call a weight loss diet!

Thanks in advance for any ideas. I think it's anorexia as well perhaps, as she has a distorted body image (she said she thinks my dad is as skinny as her, whereas he is thin but probably at the low end of healthy). But it's the fixed ideas about healthy food that seem to be the main thing for her rather than wanting to look slim etc.

Gosh @noraheggertythat sounds tricky for you.
If it’s any consolation, my 80yo DM has also, always been very conscious of “flab” and was keen on “health foods” from the 1970s onwards. I’ve taken to feeding her (& my DF) a couple of times a week, primarily with home cooked food. All good traditional stuff, with calories sneaked in wherever possible - cream in sauces, fish pie with butter in the mash, roast potatoes or wedges instead of boiled, meats with marbled fat etc. The aim is to get her to eat her favourites so she doesn’t think too much about their content 😉
I also make traditional desserts, with butter & cream wherever I can, and serve with full fat custard or ice cream.
(It also helps if she has a G&T first!)
Provided there is a lot of veg & fruit it usually goes pretty well.
Beat wishes.

PS If it is possible for you to sit down with her at the table for a family meal, I find that my DM eats more as we’re all chatting and enjoying the food, so she is distracted (& marginally less fussy)

Thank you! That sounds like great advice and I would do it, but sadly, her and DF live abroad. I've just come back from visiting them. DF is a caring but gentle chap and is also watching his own diet because he used to have heart disease. So he isn't much use at getting her to eat. In fact I think it was him getting diagnosed with heart disease and having an operation in the 1990s that started off Mum's ED. But he's much more moderate about it.

Sorry I didn't mention the distance before. But that's why I'm looking for resources to send her advice to give her from afar.