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AMA

Realised i'm gay in my thirties and left DH

9 replies

procrastinatorgator · 02/02/2025 17:43

AMA

Writing this in case there is anyone going through the same thing - I could really have used this when I was confused!

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Begsthequestion · 02/02/2025 18:38

What made you realise you're gay and not bisexual?

CaptainFuture · 02/02/2025 18:40

Have you left the marital home or expecting him to?

procrastinatorgator · 02/02/2025 18:54

I had attractions to girls when I was younger but had always grown up in a very awkward household where these things weren't discussed and never really realised that being gay was an option. I realised I was bisexual in my twenties but never really knew how to go about meeting women and always had a sort of imposter syndrome about it. After my first child was born my attraction to women became very strong and I struggled with it for a long time. After the second child it intensified and after about 5 years of battling it and really hoping it was just a phase because I didn't want to hurt my ex, I eventually couldn't do it anymore. I know I'm not bisexual because I have no desire to be with a man again and finally feel comfortable and happy, like I'm really myself, for the first time in my life

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procrastinatorgator · 02/02/2025 18:58

CaptainFuture · 02/02/2025 18:40

Have you left the marital home or expecting him to?

I did, but we live abroad for work and the house is connected to my job so no real choice there

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MrsJHernandez · 02/02/2025 19:07

How did the ex and your kids take the news and split?

Ps. I'm glad you're happy and feel like the real you 🤗

Notmycircusnotmydonkeys · 02/02/2025 19:18

<waves from across the late-blooming lesbian lounge> <also can we actually have one of those pls>
Hello @procrastinatorgator realised I was properly very gay in my late 40s. Don't want to gatecrash your AMA so just quickly saying hello; there are a few of us out there, hope life on the other side of what us inevitably a messy middle is good for and to you.

OneEyedTrouserSnake · 02/02/2025 23:25

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procrastinatorgator · 03/02/2025 04:08

MrsJHernandez · 02/02/2025 19:07

How did the ex and your kids take the news and split?

Ps. I'm glad you're happy and feel like the real you 🤗

Thank you! They've been fine about it. I'd not tell him this, but ex isn't the easiest person to live with (a little grumpy, never wanted to do anything) so I think they're not missing his presence in the house too much as he was often a bit grouchy. So now when they see him, they actually have quality time together, which is better for them.

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procrastinatorgator · 03/02/2025 04:13

Notmycircusnotmydonkeys · 02/02/2025 19:18

<waves from across the late-blooming lesbian lounge> <also can we actually have one of those pls>
Hello @procrastinatorgator realised I was properly very gay in my late 40s. Don't want to gatecrash your AMA so just quickly saying hello; there are a few of us out there, hope life on the other side of what us inevitably a messy middle is good for and to you.

😁Thank you! I wish there was some kind of group or community for us - it would be great to hear everyone's stories. I'd love to hear yours if you're up for sharing!

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