I’m in recovery from cocaine and alcohol addiction ask me anything.

[AMAthistimeroud]

DPs watching a boring film and I’m a little bored so thought I’d go for this.

I appreciate other people views/opinions on addiction but I won’t engage in any posters being abusive and/or rude.

How did you get onto coke?

How much money do you think you spent on your addiction, and over how many years?

How quickly did addiction escalate? Best of luck to your recovery

Have you had any addiction transfer?

Have you had to cut off old friends?

The first time I tried it, I was around 18 at a party. Wasn’t to fussed about it then. My excessive alcohol intake in my teens and early 20s drew me towards a crowd of people that drank like me and cocaine was moving around those circles.

Why did you start taking drugs in the first place?

For the last couple of years it was anything from £500-£1000 a week.

Did you kick the cocaine and the alcohol at the same time or did you give up one first then the other?

Do you miss it?
What made you decide to stop?

I stopped drinking in my early 20s, I would say I always drank in quite a crazy way - a lot more and a lot faster then my friends.

When I picked up again in my late 20s things escalated extremely quickly. I quickly forgot how I ever managed to live life without drugs before I got help.

How did you afford it?

Yes. Food issues. I cannot safely take any mind altering substance.

What was your turning point? What made you decide you needed help/to stop?

So strange I was always utterly terrified at the prospect of drugs. Honestly, I just can’t say. It I do know that o hated how old of control my alcohol consumption made me. Cocaine provides the illusion of control and allows one to drink alcohol for longer so that’s why I loved it (well, for a while).

Both at the same time. They go hand in hand for me.

What was it that made you vulnerable to addiction, do you think?

Not anymore. I did when I first quit, now when I think about drinking or drugs my stomach drops and my head instantly takes me back to those dark places.

I stopped because I was about to lose everything I held dear.

I couldn’t tell you, I could never find the money now but when you’re in that state you just do.

How easy was it for you to take responsibility for your addiction & its impact on others?

Are there people who love you and want the best for you who nonetheless will have nothing to do with you.
Have you thought about how you might repair the relationships you’ve destroyed?

That’s a difficult question to answer because addicts come from every single walk of life. I’ve met many addicts, some come from trauma - most do not, some have addict parents, some do not. Some are highly educated, some are not.

But for me personally? It does run in my family and I’ve had severe depression and anxiety. I would like to stress though, that’s not the case for a lot of addicts.

Really hard, actually to be honest. I was so blinded when I first came into recovery that I couldn’t see it.

Along the way it’s been utterly heartbreaking. I try my best everyday to make amends by being the best person I can be for them now.

Another desperate attempt at controlling it led me to a bender.

Nothing drastic on my last binge, just the realisation that I really couldn’t control this so it was the drugs or everything else in my life - I chose everything else.

Well done for stopping, you are amazing, OP.

How did you stop?

What do you do to stay sober? (E.g. Professional help, coping mechanisms…)

Were you with your current DP when you were drinking and using? If so, what did they do?

No there are not.

yes of course.