I work in a nursery - AMA

[Olivetreekit]

Hello! I have worked in two nurseries so far (including the one I’m working in,in which I am room leader.) I just wanted to see if I can help people with this thread as when people find out I work in a nursery they have quite a few questions - I’ll put some frequently asked questions here but go ahead and ask me anything! (Btw I don’t have children of my own yet so I can only answer specific questions about nursery life rather than parenting.)

FAQ & tips:
1 - Why does my child eat at nursery and not at home? There are several answers for this, I think it’s mostly because food is served at the exact time every single day so children are expecting it, we don’t give them food outside of these structured time. They also have their friends around them who they use as an example. Also there is a lot less pressure on the child because there are so many other children we have to pay attention to. .

2 - If when settling in you tell us your child is a nightmare going to sleep and we don’t react, it’s because every single parent says that! 90% of children sleep fine at nursery.

3 - What do you do all day (staff?)
A lot of people think we just play all day with the kids but it’s a lot more than that. The paperwork we do is absolutely never ending (planning activities and reports for each child), that takes up majority of the day.

4 - What do my children do all day?
To be honest, from where I’ve worked if it’s a private nursery they are most likely playing all day with some structured activities thrown in between. Obviously it depends on the nursery but both of mine have been like this.

5- If the nursery staff have asked you to bring your child different shoes/ any other item of regular clothing than the ones your child usually wears it means it has absolutely been a nightmare to put them on or off. So please do!

6 - Yes we are paid terribly.

7 - Please be nice to us, we’re human too

8 - if you’re struggling with anything we want you to tell us! We can be more helpful than you might think

Assistants might be able to play with the children as much as they like, qualified staff and room leaders less so.

You're describing a badly run nursery. Of which, sadly, there are many.

I agree! There’s always too many other jobs to do. Good on you for making the decision that suits you

In my nursery I feel more sorry for the mum than the baby (because I know that baby is being incredibly well cared for). It’s not ideal but I would never blame them

In terms of nappies, if we notice a child is soiled they are changed literally in the same second. It’s a bit harder to notice if kids are wet though.

StevieCandlestick said • observations - a couple of snaps per week with a very brief description. Not in my setting. We have to link the Observation to the curriculum, and note the Learning Development, ie the next steps the child might make in this area. You also have to double check this ob is not a duplicate. It cannnot be done in a minute, either on an i-pad or on paper. This is how the stress adds up, because we know we are meant to be supervising the children at all times yet are also expected to be doing this sort of thing while on the floor.

Similarly, when staff are out of the room doing nappy changes, it leaves the other staff out of ratio. Stress adds again. And cleaning duties. Not all settings employ cleaners, so the practitioners are expected to clean bathrooms including mopping floors while simultaneously watching the children.

Is it all nurseries? no. Some employ cleaners. Some employ more than the bare minimum of staff. But my point is that some nurseries are like this and that is one reason the staff turnover can be 90% as the staff who care can't do it long term, because it is heart-breaking to work knowing that the care being provided is not great.

Sick pay is the law. I would contact ACAS regarding your working conditions and join a union.

Sick pay is not the law unless you are talking about stat sick pay? Which is obviously a paltry amount in comparison to most people’s full pay.

Employers in the UK are legally required to pay statutory sick pay. Irrespective of how much it is, the OP is entitled to sick pay.

But my point is that some nurseries are like this and that is one reason the staff turnover can be 90% as the staff who care can't do it long term, because it is heart-breaking to work knowing that the care being provided is not great

@Changethetoner - we're agreeing with each other! There's no need for tracking/observations to be so laborious (have you used Tapestry? It's very good!) but many nurseries are stuck in a time warp and inflict those practices on staff to the detriment of their employees and the children.

Sick pay is the law. I would contact ACAS regarding your working conditions and join a union.

Obviously, you get statutory sick pay but, as pp said, it's a paltry amount. Whereas in other jobs you get paid your regular wage for a set amount of time.

I don't work in childcare anymore. I've got a nice, cushy office job with excellent conditions. I miss the children but nothing else about the job.

Thank you - DT’s went to an amazing nursery full time from six months old. The staff were brilliant - well trained (including qualified nurses and teachers) with low turnover. We used two of the staff as our babysitters for years.
The activities they did and care they received was very special and even though DT’s are now in their mid 20’s I remember how wonderful the nursery days were

My children never slept well at nursery - DD will sleep 3 hours at home and 20 to 40 mins at nursery. She’s been to 2 nurseries, both the same. At home I’ll put her down between 11:30 & 12, and at nursery they don’t go down until 1 ish. I think they put them all down at the same time regardless of if anyone is flagging (due to structured lunch times etc).

Anyway, this means she sleeps terribly at night after a nursery day and is grumpy the next day. She’s about to go from Tues & Thurs at nursery to adding in Wednesday too and I’m dreading it!

1. do you think if it says 20 min sleep on the app, she actually did sleep for that time, or she just lay there trying?
2. how do I ask nursery to try and get her to sleep longer?

Thanks!

Edit : she’s 2 by the way so can power through, not a massive deal, but like I say has a knock on to the next day. And all the others in her room seem to sleep. She’s the only one potty trained and the nursery were amazing with that, really lovely caring staff so v happy overall!

I agree with pp's on here that say they wouldn't put their own kids in a private nursery. I have been working in them for the last few years and it's cemented that belief for me. Often the kids are being looked after by inexperienced and very young staff who don't always have the patience they should have. The ratios are often down so they are being looked after in unsafe numbers. There literally aren't enough eyes in the rooms to watch the kids at all times and lots of things go unnoticed, such as eating dirt. Also there are always staff who clearly don't like children very much and can be peevish with some of them, usually the ones they favour least. I think most go into the job as teenagers expecting it to be playing all day long when in fact this isn't the reality, it's very hard work (paper work galore) for very little pay and long hours. Staff are usually undervalued and replaced easily due to high staff turn over, especially in chain nurseries I have found. I don't plan to remain working in nurseries as I find it frustrating that some staff get away with murder even when they aren't doing a particularly good job, and others are overlooked despite being good at their job. Also there is so much bitching and two faced behaviour from staff it's unbelievable, even management get involved in the bitching. It's a shame because I do enjoy being around the children, just not enough to keep me working in private nurseries unfortunately.

I don’t think it is always a privilege. My husband and I both still work but choose to do opposite days/opposite shifts so someone is always home. I don’t feel that is a privilege- it comes with its own issues as we seldom see each other unless on annual leave. And I don’t particularly cherish going in to work 14 hr shifts or nightshift when I have been awake all day with the kids.

Some nurseries are definitely ran badly and staff turnover is through the roof.

Not all nurseries are like that though, my DC’s is exceptional. There is no high staff turnover and they are not uninterested, young women.

This is what I didn’t want to hear 😭😭

The poster is referring to poor nurseries she has worked in. I’m not aware of any like that and we looked at dozens and were on a waiting list from when I was still pregnant.
There’s no luck in finding a great one - just lots of time spent on research , visits and personal recommendations.

Don't worry. Not all nurseries are the same, some are wonderful.

Ask for recommendations
When you're viewing nurseries, ask about staff turnover
Trust your instincts when you are viewing them

My DC's nursery is amazing.

They do with me. I've done a lot of supply work but refused to go to one chain in the end. No I will not name them. They were doing well. I assume their nurseries were always busy because they were cheap.

Staff have favourites but hide it pretty well.

Abuse of children would be rare, but being bad at looking after them is common. Grumpy staff, ones who don't know how to talk to children, lay ones who can't be bothered etc.

Turnover is high because of low pay, long hours, and the level of responsibility. And some management are bastards, and people doing the job who shouldn't be doing it.

I did agency/bank work for a long time because it was easier to go home and leave issues behind. And I would never get stuck in a crap nursery. And no paperwork. And I could have more holidays.

Hand cream is a good gift for the baby room.

Being a man in a nursery is ok if you're not a jerk around women, don't get offended that some children will be scared of you, and the management have your back and will tell parents who don't like it to do one.
(I've always found the children who were scared of me ended up being the ones who liked me the most!)

Nappies get changed to a schedule, but smells are investigated and changed when needed, bulgy wet ones changed, children who have sore bums get changed more often etc. It's in everybody's interest that they get changed whenever needed.

Yes we feel sorry for tiny babies in nursery, and for the 7:30 to 6:30 5 day a week children.

The are a lot of good staff out there, but not enough. Nurseries have to fill positions with somebody...

I don't think I've ever heard a politician talk about nurseries from a position of knowledge, and no solutions I've heard them talk about will help.
There needs to be MORE than enough nurseries so that the bad ones can't get customers and have to shut.
There needs to be MORE good staff so that the bad ones can't get work.

There really is no other way to get more staff than just paying them more.

@wingingit1987

"I don’t think it is always a privilege. My husband and I both still work but choose to do opposite days/opposite shifts so someone is always home. I don’t feel that is a privilege- it comes with its own issues as we seldom see each other unless on annual leave. And I don’t particularly cherish going in to work 14 hr shifts or nightshift when I have been awake all day with the kids."

I'm sorry but you're just making different choices, not necessarily better ones. Your children may, perhaps, suffer from not having family time together where both parents are present, or a less grumpy parent who doesn't come straight off a 14 hour shift into parenting, or would have prefers less siblings and more time with their parents/money spent on activities etc etc. The list goes on. I wouldn't throw mud at other parents choices (or non-choices) until you have testimonials from your adult children that you were the best family to grew up in (unlikely)

The poster is referring to poor nurseries she has worked in. I’m not aware of any like that

That's because you've never worked in a nursery. You cannot get a feel for a nursery by visiting it.

Parents should be grateful that so many excellent practitioners are willing to work in poor conditions to look after your children especially when you're paying so much money.

I would say the majority of practitioners are good and wouldn't dream of leaving a child in a soiled nappy. They work hard to keep your child safe and content.

I do think is's sad that so many parents won't put their careers on hold for a short time so their babies/toddlers don't have to spend from 7.30 to 6 every day in a childcare environment whether it be a nursery or a childminder. And I wish our society would facilitate shorter working hours particularly for parents of young children.

It’s not mud throwing- it’s just a bit of a blanket statement to say that everyone who doesn’t use paid childcare for their babies is privileged. They have plenty of money spent on things like activities, holidays etc. they always have at least one parent home. That’s not To say it’s perfect but I don’t think it’s fair to say it’s unlikely that my kids won’t have had a nice or happy childhood. Nowhere did I say we were “grumpy” either. Capable of being tired without taking it out on my children- obviously not the case for yourself or else you wouldn’t have made that assumption.

I kind of wish you would

Does the room leader set the working pattern for the room, and could they give themselves better shift patterns if they so wanted to, without any come back?

When a job is advertised, is it usually at the lower end that you will be employed at?

Is there a position called “education manager” and if so what does that entail?