I work in a nursery - AMA

[Olivetreekit]

Hello! I have worked in two nurseries so far (including the one I’m working in,in which I am room leader.) I just wanted to see if I can help people with this thread as when people find out I work in a nursery they have quite a few questions - I’ll put some frequently asked questions here but go ahead and ask me anything! (Btw I don’t have children of my own yet so I can only answer specific questions about nursery life rather than parenting.)

FAQ & tips:
1 - Why does my child eat at nursery and not at home? There are several answers for this, I think it’s mostly because food is served at the exact time every single day so children are expecting it, we don’t give them food outside of these structured time. They also have their friends around them who they use as an example. Also there is a lot less pressure on the child because there are so many other children we have to pay attention to. .

2 - If when settling in you tell us your child is a nightmare going to sleep and we don’t react, it’s because every single parent says that! 90% of children sleep fine at nursery.

3 - What do you do all day (staff?)
A lot of people think we just play all day with the kids but it’s a lot more than that. The paperwork we do is absolutely never ending (planning activities and reports for each child), that takes up majority of the day.

4 - What do my children do all day?
To be honest, from where I’ve worked if it’s a private nursery they are most likely playing all day with some structured activities thrown in between. Obviously it depends on the nursery but both of mine have been like this.

5- If the nursery staff have asked you to bring your child different shoes/ any other item of regular clothing than the ones your child usually wears it means it has absolutely been a nightmare to put them on or off. So please do!

6 - Yes we are paid terribly.

7 - Please be nice to us, we’re human too

8 - if you’re struggling with anything we want you to tell us! We can be more helpful than you might think

Ah, Im the other side of that. The children I work best with are the quiet ones who are shy or nervous. Worriers, a lot like myself.

I know what you mean, what are your reasons for not leaving them though if you don’t mind me asking?
If I couldn’t leave them at my nursery (doesn’t have to be the same building necessarily). They wouldn’t go to nursery because I really didn’t agree with how my old one was.

That’s so lovely! The staff will love it. Honestly the hamper sounds like a wonderful idea. Something like cupcakes or muffins or a box of chocolates would be lovely! Because that’s the easiest shared between staff. We always appreciate cards but there’s no pressure for either

Do any franchise have a bad name?

For the record, the question I get asked the most is What is it like to be a man who works in a Nursery ?

Well, it’s a lot better since 25 years ago when I some rarity that people were afraid of. I don’t work full time in Nursery either but it’s not uncommon to see me. It really all depends on your management. Im a unique man and my setting let me express myself, but the children react so positively to me.

I qualified in Play and I love showing children that a man can care.

Some are better than others. There are most certainly franchise I have seen that I wouldn’t send my kids. You’ve got to do your research and make an informed decision.

I've worked in nurseries, and I would never put my own children there. Reasons: many of the staff are very young and inexperienced. "working toward" qualifications.
Also, nappies get changed to a schedule, meaning sometimes they can be in dirty nappy for longer than ideal (unless someone notices, and bothers to change them).
In my experience, the quiet babies/children get the least attention, because they are the easiest for the staff. The additional needs get additional time and attention, rightly so, but to the almost neglect of others.
Supervision can vary a lot - so children can be outside eating sand and nobody notices at all, or for a long time.
Nurseries are useful, and I know some can provide great care and experiences for the children, but I have seen A LOT of poor care provision. You might be lucky and get a good one, and I hope you do.

Depends on the area you live in, the thing is it may not necessarily be a “bad nursery”. It might just be the way it’s run doesn’t work very well or that they have way too many kids.

That’s amazing! I loved hearing your perspective. I wish we had more male staff - we have a baby art teacher come in who’s a man and all the children are scared of him! They’re also terrified of all the handy men!

If my 1 year old wasn't in nursery part time then I wouldn't be able to work. Grandparents are all early 50s so can't provide full time childcare. I want to build my career and raise my child. I don't want to live on benefits, nor do I have a DP on a 6 figure salary. You must be in a very privileged position to not need to use nurseries.

Do you feel sorry for the babies and mothers of babies who are in nursery at only a few months old?

Does it bother you that the children are spending most of their waking hours in one room ? I could never get behind that so used a childminder.

Given you mentioned why many children eat at nursery and not at home, may I ask how you deal with children who don't/can't eat the nursery food? DD didn't eat anything at all at nursery for the first 6 months (she was 3, and doing half days, so not a baby going 10 hours with no food)

3 - What do you do all day (staff?)
A lot of people think we just play all day with the kids but it’s a lot more than that. The paperwork we do is absolutely never ending (planning activities and reports for each child), that takes up majority of the day.

How does this work, do you not need to be eyes on the kids? (Not a swipe - I have no kids so not sure how it works)

We’ve never had to put our children in nursery before their “free” funded place at 3. We made a point of never having to rely on it even although we both work- neither of us earn anywhere near a 6 figure salary or claim benefits either. We work opposite days/shifts to make it work. I do think it’s rubbish for us as a couple but we made it a priority to always have one of us home for the kids. We have 5 kids and it wouldn’t be an option not to work, if we want to be able to give them a nice life.

I don’t think it takes privilege to be able to look after your own children- just sacrifices elsewhere.

That’s going to largely depend on the nursery.

DC’s nursery has open access to outside, a separate soft play/sensory room and they do trips outside.

I worked briefly at a nursery and couldn't hack it for this reason. I hated being in one room all day and hated it for the kids too. We did have a garden that we used for periods of time, but was still so limited.

My daughter is with family some days and nursery other days so not full time. We both need to work full time to afford bills and I don't want to put my career on hold for 3 years. It is a privilege to not need to pay for childcare.

What would be a good gift to get the nursery nurses in the baby room as a thank you as my little on moves into the toddler room. He took a long time to settle in and they were so good with him. He now loves it so I'd like to give them a gift but I don't know them all individually so would have to br a shared gift.

Tbh, i always felt in the nurseries i worked in there was 1 maybe 2 members of staff id happily leave my children with, the rest not so much. I felt the majority of the staff would happily do anything other than actually play/read/comfort the kids. There was always something else needing done, which suited them better than being with the kids.
And i always felt it was a really long day for the kids, and most were ready to go home hours before they were picked up.
It all felt kind of sad to me.
Im not saying i was brilliant at being a SAHM but i 100% felt it was better for my kids.

The paperwork we do is absolutely never ending (planning activities and reports for each child), that takes up majority of the day.

In that case you're doing something wrong and not following statutory guidance. Ofsted don't want a huge amount of paperwork. They want you playing with the children.

How on earth do you deal with a room stroppy 2 year olds having tantrums? Hats off to you, I couldn't do your job.

Long hours. No flexibility. Not paid when sick or attending medical appointments. Being asked to do too much. Cleaning duties whilst looking after the children. Poor pay with little prospect of earning more. Not being paid to attend staff meetings after work or training at weekends. Witnessing bad practice/treatment of children/bully of staff and not being able to do anything about it. Being treated like an imbecile by parents. Being treated like crap by management.

I could go on ...

They might ‘want’ that but they also want sleep charts, daily diaries, progress reports, nappy changes, activity planning, observations, photos of children enjoying activities, then there’s the accident forms, and these need to be physical paper copies filed in folders available to view if Ofsted ever asked. Assistants might be able to play with the children as much as they like, qualified staff and room leaders less so. No nursery I know of pays for extra hours so these can be done, they are all completed during the working day in the room.

They might ‘want’ that but they also want:

•sleep charts - take seconds to fill in - time child fell asleep/woke up

•daily diaries - not an Ofsted requirement
•progress reports - done termly
•nappy changes - time of nappy change - wet or soiled

•activity planning - good practice is in the moment planning reacting to children's interests - doesn't require tons of paperwork

• observations - a couple of snaps per week with a very brief description

•photos of children enjoying activities - keep to a minimum

•then there’s the accident forms, and these need to be physical paper copies filed in folders available to view if Ofsted ever asked - and should take just a couple of minutes to complete