I have intrusive thoughts/pure O/OCD

[Redhothoochycoocher]

A few years ago awful thoughts I'd struggled with my whole life suddenly ramped up in awfulness. I had no idea why I was having them and assumed there was something very seriously wrong with me. I googled like crazy trying to find other people like me. Eventually I took myself to my GP and explained some (definitely not all, I was very ashamed) of what I had been experiencing. He immediately said it was a form of pure O (as in the 'obsessive' part of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), also called intrusive thoughts. I had a few sessions of online CBT but honestly having a diagnosis made a huge difference to my MH.

Anyway, I still have intrusive thoughts. I'm not traumatised by them any more. AMA.

Ps apologies if this has already been done. Had a cursory look but couldn't see any thread on this.

Glad to hear you're doing well.
Do you recognise any particular triggers to your intrusive thoughts?

Bryony Gordon has written books about this. It sounds very hard. I’m glad the diagnosis has been helpful.

Thank you. I worry I'll slip into bad mental health again. I sometimes think that when I'm an old lady, if I become isolated, it could easily get bad again.

I'm not sure about triggers, definitely stress/tiredness. Something about 1:1 conversations definitely triggers them. In fact it was a 1:1 meeting in a professional setting where the intrusive thoughts were going wild that made me think I need to get this sorted out in 2017. It was very distressing.

I had a 1:1 meeting today and the thoughts were still there but I am now able to separate them from me so I can sort of meditate on them and let them pass me by.

Ahh I'll have a look. Ive heard of her but didn't realise this was something she spoke about

Sorry if this is triggering for anyone.

I've always put my MH as a last priority, thinking I'll sort things later. But this post has made me think. I have intrusive thoughts all the time. Walking down the street the other day with my baby, a man is walking behind us. My brain is going wild. Visions of him stabbing me and my baby, going to my babies funeral, people at my funeral. It was unbearable and I cried all the way home. Visions of me letting go off my pram and it rolling off down a hill. Visions of me watching people at my funeral quite a bit. Lots more things like that, is this the kind of thing that you mean or is this just part of motherhood? I know I have anxiety for sure.

Thank you

Just to add, this kind of thing has gone on long before I had children, since I've had babies it has intensified.

I'm not an expert but I'd definitely say that sounds like intrusive thoughts. Mine are quite far ranging but definitely include getting deep into a horrific thought. When I was about 15 I wrote a whole song on the piano about my best friend dying, telling her mum about it and then going to her funeral. It was so upsetting but I felt compelled to get the thoughts out of my head. She hadn't died but I created this whole horrid scenario in my mind.

I'm sorry that you're experiencing it. It can feel impossible to see the light at the end of the tunnel but the things I've found really helpful are learning breathing exercises and naming my intrusive thoughts (mine are called Clive) so that they are clearly marked as 'not me'. I genuinely shout NOT TODAY CLIVE some days when I can feel them creeping in. Not sure how that ranks on the 'I'm not crazy' measure 🤣 but it actually really helps me squash the thoughts and get on with my day.

The CBT I had was not massively helpful but it WAS good to have a name and be able to read about it. I follow a lady called Alegra Kastens on Instagram. She's a therapist trained in working with people with OCD and her posts have been helpful recently in understanding the condition.

I hope some of that is helpful and always happy to talk more if you want to PM.

Sort that you struggle. My adult DS has this. It’s been awful for him, but he’s having therapy now. Did you ever take SSRIs? He hasn’t and wants to use therapy on its own as has research that SSRIs aren’t really beneficial.
I think they’ve been around for him since childhood but they ramp up during times of stress.

Hi obsessive thoughts have haunted me most of my life but for me they involve animals. I love animals, my thoughts revolve not being able to help them. I see cows, goats or sheep in fields and my mind goes straight to what’s going to happen to them when the get loaded up in lorries how frightened they must feel when they are being killed. It paralyses me because I can’t help them. I can’t stop it for them.

I see a rabbit in a field I think of a hawk swooping down and taking it away how terrified it must feel. I start to experience what I think the feelings must be like. It’s horrible, I love animals but I can’t enjoy them.

Sometimes I can control it and move my mind on but when I’m not in a good place I’m plagued by these thoughts.

Over the years I’ve seen Psychiatrists, was told I suffered from obsessive thoughts and given antidepressants which didn’t help in the long run. I’ve been to therapy, done listening therapy, meditation, mindfulness (managed to upset a session when I described what my mind was doing I was focusing on a sheep outside and described how I saw its future, they thought I was nuts by the looks I got so that was the end of that) I don’t tend to talk to people about it much but when it’s bad I honestly do think I’m going crazy.

I think I’ve kind of accepted I’ll always be like this but I really wish I wasn’t.

I do too, I did EMDR. Strongly recommend!

I have pure O OCD and SSRIs have been life changing. I have been taking them for several years now and have been really well on them.