I was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness AMA

[ElloElloElloWhatsAllThisThen]

Fire away! I’m not the most knowledgeable but will try and answer all questions to the best of my ability

Great first question. If someone (like my grandma) has mobility issues due to disabilities/old age/bad health then adjustments are made.

There’s one woman that I knew who’s still alive (probably 80/90 now) and was bed bound for all the years that I knew her. She struggled with speech but genuinely wanted to take part in the ministry as it gave her something to do. Her daughter would write letters to their neighbours on her behalf as that was her way of ‘spreading the word.’

Ministry is encouraged to all JWs. There’s something called pioneering where you have specific hours of ministry which you need to do each week. Don’t quote me on this but I’m sure there’s a choice of 30 or 90 hours a week. A lot of people aren’t pioneers and just do the ministry as and when (maybe once every weekend) so those that have difficulties getting around or have other issues, won’t actually need to go on the ministry if they aren’t able too.

Sorry I feel like that was a really long answer so not sure if that makes sense😅 basically, if you can’t go on the ministry due to mental/physical help then you don’t need too. A lot of people still try to do it as they want too.

What do you think is the most "WTF, lol" rule/belief - outdated or current - that the church had/has?

I really, REALLY didn’t like the fact that girls/women always had to wear skirts or a dress. I’ve always had big thighs/big bum and I hated wearing tights as I felt so awkward in them. Whenever I went clothes shopping, I could never find loose clothing and anything that was tight is frowned upon if you have a figure. You’d be told you’re encouraging ‘wandering eyes’ from brothers. It was batshit. Funny you asked because the rules changed a couple of months ago. Girls/women can now wear formal trousers. Shame that wasn’t a rule when I was a fucking teenager going through puberty!

Some of my friends were a bit shocked but in a, ‘good for you that you’re not listening to the pressure.’ I never actually felt pressured and always did my own thing so my family weren’t surprised. As I said, some family members are disfellowshipped/not religious so my family had no expectation really.

Have you heard any myths or stereotypes attributed to JWs?

I think the biggest myth I’ve heard and one that I used to come across often is that JWs don’t believe in Jesus Christ. That’s the first thing that comes to mind

Sorry if this has already been asked @ElloElloElloWhatsAllThisThen ... to what extent do you think that your family members actually believe the stuff about paradise and armageddon? Is it more a case of following along to remain within the family and community?

You make a lot of good points. I hear where you’re coming from and don’t really have a counter argument as I don’t agree with disfellowshipping people too.

I guess you can say it’s a part of me as the first 20 years of my life has been controlled by religion. My mum was really strict and I hated that, especially as so many other JW mum’s in my congregation weren’t that extreme as her.

I really just started this thread off of the back of the gypsy thread but it’s been really interesting answering most of these questions

I agree a lot with your post above this one, especially this bit, I guess like many religions it's about sin, shame, fear, oppression and the promise of a paradise after this life.

I think the reason why a lot of people are happy (and I use that word very loosely) is because they believe they have to go through these challenges in order to live in paradise forever.

I have a very close friend who’s always been like a older sister to me and she’s baptised. Her sister in law is also baptised but secretly gay. I honestly couldn’t imagine living like that. Her sister in law believes that she won’t make it to paradise but doesn’t want to be disfellowshipped so she pretends all is well. I genuinely couldn’t imagine living like that and I find it really sad that she feels she has to live in secret.

I know one woman who was basically like, ‘I’m gay. Fuck this, I’m out of here’ and hasn’t spoken to her family since. I personally think she did the right thing but I can see how it’s hard for others. It’s all fucked really!

Thanks for your honest answer on this. I've known a few JWs in the past and wondered about this topic. Do you know how your family who are still JWs have felt about this? Did they easily accept the new teaching or were they able to say they took a bit to adapt to it? Or are they still struggling with it?

I did study with a friend for a while and the 1914 teaching just seemed so central to everything. She was very loyal and I'd love to have a conversation with her about it, but we're no longer in touch.

I'm sorry to hear it was difficult with ur mum. I dont actually have best relationship with my parents (nothing to do with religion, unfortunately u cant choose them!) I can also understand a reluctantly to explore any uncomfortable thinking or church history that is ingrained as if its all u have known. I'm guessing as ur now a parent and u r not baptised then ur child(ren) are also not. That's good they have a choice in not being controlled by religion as u have said u was. Maybe therapy would hbe helpful if u ever

Wanted to unpick ingrained thinking, if it's still there . Sorry sent before finished. Wish u well anyways

Oh they believe it 100%. Those that are baptised 100% believe it and you couldn’t change their belief for love nor money.

Now do they have other things they may not 100% agree with but play along for the sake of it? Probably. But the armageddon and paradise stuff isn’t up for debate

I’m very close with my grandma and I remember saying to her that I didn’t accept the new ‘findings’ and how things didn’t make sense to me. My grandma genuinely had an answer for every question and didn’t seem phased about it at all. She accepted it quite quickly and went along with it.

Whereas my mum, auntie and a few others were quite sceptical and had a lot of questions. My mum prayed a lot and did a lot of research and she finally accepted it for what it was. Deep down, she may not fully agree but I wouldn’t know. My mum prays a lot to have faith in things she doesn’t understand so she probably prayed about it and carried on. I hope that answers your question

Thank you for the kind words. Have a great weekend:)

A lighter question. Do JWs still go door to door? I can't remember the last time I saw them on the streets or at my door. It seems to be all about standing at the carts in busy areas now.

I imagine door to door is harder as people are less trusting that people at doors are who they say they are. Too many people are on scam alert now. I know I trust no-one who comes to my door not to be a potential scammer.

I had two (quite young) Jehovah’s Witness women drop by maybe twice a month with their combined 3 or 4 children.
They would read their Bible quotes and then we’d chat. I didn’t mind because I wasn’t going to suddenly become a Jehovah’s Witness - they know that.
They were normal girls, sweet, unaffected, happy to talk about their lives and children.
They couldn’t have been over 19 or 20.
I had watched my mum slam the door in the faces of women like them and I thought that terribly rude.
They stopped coming to our street after awhile - and nobody came after they left.
I’ve thought about them since then, and wondered how they are.
Aren’t you just normal people with perhaps an unusual religion?

From what I know from some friends/family, door to door witnessing more or less stopped due to the pandemic. JWs did stand near tube/bus stations/busy area with their trolley full of publications before the pandemic but door to door ministry was still the norm.

During the pandemic, JWs were writing letters and posting them to addresses in their area as a way to ‘spread the word.’ Once Covid restrictions were lifted, many people were still self isolating at home and I think (again, don’t quote me) the decision was made to try and put more focus into public witnessing so that JWs weren’t a risk to those that were self isolating/high risk.

I actually had two JWs knock on my door a couple of months ago which took me by surprise. I guess it depends in your area and what the local congregation focuses on now

My window cleaner isn’t JW but he’s extremely chatty and friendly so I chat to him to him for ages about many things. He said that SO many window cleaners are JW! He said one JW window cleaner he knows worked his friends shifts (non JW) for weeks for free whilst he was poorly.
He was extremely positive about the JW
he knows.

I home Ed my kids and we have come across a few JW families. Extremely friendly and very likeable. Before I knew one family were I hugged the dad to say goodbye once and he went extremely awkward. Then he was very careful around me from then on.

My question is, what will they really make of me as a non believer? How would other church members feel about them hanging around with us? (We do not follow a religion) Will our friendship always have barriers.

Aren’t you just normal people with perhaps an unusual religion?

I don’t view myself as religious but to answer your question, yes that’s what I always thought of myself when growing up. I knew it was a religion which was known for not celebrating birthdays, not having a blood transfusion etc and people had a lot of negative views on that.

At the end of the day, I always felt like a normal person lol. My family members and some friends are what I’d consider to be normal too. When I was on the ministry age 11/12, the person that I’d be on the ministry with would sometimes knock on the doors of their regulars. They knew the person wasn’t interested in a Bible study nor did they push it. They’d be invited in and we’d speak about all things such as the weather and what’s going on in their personal life.

That was one thing I enjoyed if I’m honest. I liked having random, nice conversations with people who gave us that time to speak with them. I don’t really experience that much these days through general day to day life

@ElloElloElloWhatsAllThisThen

Thank you for taking the time to answer.
I think - no matter who we are - we all consider ourselves to be normal, everyday people, just living our lives as best we can.
It’s other, judgmental people who decide that we aren’t, and that’s a shame.
I should’ve noted that I knew you weren’t in your church any more - my apologies.
I was very close with my grandmother too - hearing you talk about yours makes me miss her.
Best of luck to you.

No, not heaven. Jesus went - "I go to prepare a place for you" - but "i will return" and the Kingdom would be set up on earth. A new regime, wolf lying down with the lamb etc, as it was in the Garden of Eden, presumably, although I don't remember that comparison being made. So Jesus will reign on Earth, and until that time people "sleep in the dust of the earth". So they didn't believe that anyone would go to heaven on their death, but that at the end times, some would be resurrected and the others would just go on being dead.
I have to say that although I didn't get baptised into that church, I did leave and get baptised as an adult in a small chapel, so as a Christian rather than as a member of the sect I grew up in.

I have to counter some of the negative assumptions on here and say that the sect members were my family - I had loads of lovely Aunties and it was a hugely supportive environment to grow up in. We often had big gatherings (600 people) in a hall with food and games. It was a strict fellowship though (officially, no TV or newspapers) although some quietly broke those rules, but my cousin joined a less-strict one under the same umbrella. He still associates with his family but they aren't allowed to attend each others' Sunday services. So not disfellowshipped but kind of excluded from the important bit!
I had two JWs knock on my door recently. I told them I wasn't interested in joining, but I really liked one of them (an old guy who reminded me of my mum) and so i gave him some time and we had a long talk. Well hopefully I showed him that we had common ground.

Well why does Jesus say different things in the bible?

I’m so glad I found this thread! I’m going to a Jehovah’s Witness christening (if that is the correct term) for an adult friend on Saturday and was wondering what would be the correct thing to wear. I was thinking of a knee length dress but it is quite low cut so with a top underneath it. Would that be acceptable? I’m not sure how strict the dress codes are. Thanks

I assume the 144k chosen ones can't be added to? When were they chosen and why?

I was raised JW (thought haven't been involved for about 3 decades!) and think that sounds fine - think the same basic rules as a church wedding and you should be ok.

It's a baptism rather than christening when it's an adult by the way

Side note - JWs don't christen babies as they think you should be old enough to decided to be baptised rather than have it put on you at birth - one of the few things I agree with them on!