I’m a convert to Islam AMA

[Candyapplesandhearts]

All in the title really.

feel free to ask. I know this has been done before but irl people always seem fascinated but too afraid to ask yet have LOTS of questions

i’ll answer a few in advance: I’m white british
I’ve been Muslim 12 years. Since my early 20s
i didn’t convert for a man (Christians and Jews wouldn’t need to anyway)

hope this can be a place to ask a question you’ve wanted to ask IRL but maybe felt too shy or was worried someone would take it the wrong way

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this thread. I’m Jewish, and I personally consider my Jewishness to be a cultural not a religious thing. I am absolutely not religious (I’m an atheist) but there are traditions that I identify with that I feel are important to me. As far as my children are concerned, I’ve never had any expectations of them to conform to being Jewish. I’ve made sure that they’re educated and have had exposure to being in the synagogue and taking part in our traditional festivals - however, it’s their decision whether or not they choose to follow this path.
I know some Jews who are much more extreme of course, and being Jewish is an integral part of their family and lives. But because I’m secular, the majority of my community are like me: they have openly gay children etc.
I don’t have much time for strict religious doctrine and laws that remove free thinking or subjugate women in any way. I abhor the ultra religious community and forcing women to cover their hair and having insular and primitive behaviours.
I like to believe that we all adapt ourselves to the world we live in, a world where we can be gay, where women choose their own paths and how many children they have (if at all!) and that those who believe in religious law can similarly adapt to modern times and find ways to enjoy their religion within society without reverting to more primitive or literal translations of holy texts.
Just some thoughts I wanted to share!

@LadyGooGaa ah well therein lies the issue. And I'm not going to lie - as my daughters say - it's not been easy.

He has always wanted them to be Muslim, me not so much, not particularly religious...... it's been a difficult last few years. My daughters are 18 and 19 now.

He wasn't strict for many years and then they got older and he realised that he needed to be if they were to follow the religion.

I did my bit, took them to Arabic school for 3 years - they did language mostly.

I could probably write a book, it's been complicated. Neither child is particularly religious now but they will do Ramadan- ish!

And one is studying Arabic and Politics at uni 🤩

@LadyGooGaa positively, the girls have had great exposure to other cultures and feel comfortable with people whose English is not brilliant.

I think this is super duper judgmental and quite mean spirited

‘I abhor ultra religious community and forcing women to cover their hair and having insular and primitive behaviours’

reallly you abhor them? I assume you mean the orthodox Jewish community? Don’t they cover their hair as a sign of marriage? No one is forced to? And ‘primitive behaviours’ how rude, I may not understand the rationale behind many orthodox Jewish practices, but in no way does it impinge on my life, so why someone would abhor it, is simply beyond me. Why would you abhor that someon doesn’t mix fabrics or eat meat and dairy together? Why is that so abhorrent? Why is it abhorrent that a woman would separate from her husband during her period? I think this line of thinking is basically primitivism, the backward ‘Other’.

I don’t particularly like insular communities BUT if they are met with attitudes like that from secular Jews, I can’t say that I’d blame the orthodox community from wanting to keep to themselves!

You don’t come across as a very empathic or nice person. I genuinely don’t feel like replying to any of your frankly aggressive responses to me. I wish you all the best.

@Candyapplesandhearts But I will correct you on a couple of points you made as it concerned me that you may not know the facts. Women are required to cover their hair because they must appear modest and not ignite passion in other men. That’s why they are separated in synagogue. The reason women don’t touch or sleep with their husband during their period is because they are considered “unclean” and also because it means that after their internal checks with a white cloth that there is no blood they go to the Mikva and sexual relations occur.. just in time for ovulation. You can work out the rest. I choose to interpret this as a woman deciding that for 7 days in a month, she can have some space from her husband. But the religious law remains as is. The premise remains that it’s all controlled by men and a way to control women.

I’m confused by your post. The very things you complain about are also present in Judaism. In fact, very similarly so. So why make such comments on a thread that focuses on Islam and where many posters have already criticised OP for what most religions have similar views, when your own background is from such a religion.

@ParsonsPont I didn’t understand what you were saying… I think we may be saying the same thing but maybe I misunderstood?

I follow several orthodox Jewish women on social media they are unanimous that hair covering is a sign of marriage not modesty, dress modest but not hair.

and I don’t come across as nice or empathetic, yet YOU are the one who ‘abhors’ groups of people that live differently to you and chose to interpret things In a different way to you. Don’t agree with? Sure believe it to be rooted in misogyny? Maybe, but to abhor how those people live… yikes and calling them ‘primitive’ double yikes, it’s just beyond insulting to them.

i know there are some orthodox Jewish women on MN and I do so hope they read your comments and can come back on them

Why did you think Islam was right and made you believe that the Koran was actually the word of god? Sorry if thats been asked already.

My DH's family are Jewish and are absolutely scathing about the orthodox Jewish community, especiallythe behaviour of the settlers in Israel. Most Jews are Liberal or secular. As both religions have almost identical elements if ladygooga is complaining about them in her own religion, then it's not contradictory to find the same things unpalatable in another religion.

What do you think when you see all those photos from 1970s of young women in Kabul and Tehran etc walking down the street smiling, wearing mini skirts and with lovely long hair and make up?

How do you feel when you compare it with pictures of women today in Iran and Afghanistan who are compelled to be covered head to toe? Do you think they wanted this?

The reason why so much of the ME and Asia is Muslim is because of the Mughul Empire, so also colonialism that lasted much longer than the British Empire. The sad thing is that in overthrowing British colonialism, instead of reverting to their original Mughul heritage which was tolerant ( mostly) of other religions, encouraged progress, development and art etc, it has reverted to something before that.

The reason the ME is Muslim is because of the Mughal empire? Sorry I don’t think so, it’s due to the expansion of Islam from what is now known as Saudi Arabia.

https://www.khanacademy.org/humanities/world-history/medieval-times/spread-of-islam/a/the-rise-of-islamic-empires-and-states#:~:text=Islam%20spread%20through%20military%20conquest,built%20imperial%20structures%20over%20time.

typed a whole reply to this and it’s gone.

this is an odd question and indicative of a trend in western media where western Muslims are expected to answer to or speak for Muslims globally, normally on atrocities that other Muslims are doing.

what do you expect me to say? Yeah, big fan of this change! It’s great! Do I think they wanted it! I’m sure they did yeah, I mean who wouldn’t, wouldn’t you just love to live in the country that’s been scored as the worst place for women, on the face of the planet! Bet they are thrilled, jumping for joy even!

of course not, and yet again the west meddled in Afghanistan, emboldened the Taliban and then act suprised when it turns out they aren’t the saviours and bastions of women’s rights they never claimed to be. Then we did it again, and made it even worse again. And we now tut on the sidelines whilst the people of Afghanistan suffer

I just wanted to thank you for your patient explanations. I'm actually Arab but born into an arab Christian family. I know a lot about Islam, and I have huge amounts of respect for it as a religion (I'm agnostic myself). I get so infuriated by people's misconceptions and lack of empathy or capacity to appreciate context.
It's a religion, so like any other system of beliefs, will be very dependent on cultural and geopolitical contexts. A lot of Muslim majority countries have been destroyed and plundered by the west. Isis is a western creation, a barely literate bunch of psycho mercenaries. Islam as practiced by the majority of levantine arabs (Palestine Lebanon, Syria...) will look very different to that practiced in say, South Asia. I will speak for my fellow levantine arabs and say the resilience, generosity, and deep empathy that they derive from their faith has given them a strength to face invasion, war, and their consequences that I admire.
To the point where I'm genuinely contemplating converting. However, and sorry for the huge ramble, this is my question to you:
Having previously believed in a God of sorts, did you find it easier to then adapt that vision of God you had to an Islamic one? In other words, would it have been too much of a leap to make had you been an atheist in the first place?

Assalamu alaikum sis, I recently reverted (took my shahada before Ramadan!). I’m glad you started this AMA as I don’t have any close Muslim friends or relatives to ask any Islamic questions to apart from my husband.

I just wanted to ask if you have any tips/advice about beginning to wear the hijab? I want to start wearing it but I feel a bit nervous about how people will react (e.g. going to work for the first time in hijab) and feel kind of self-conscious that it doesn’t look right on me. Do you have any tips to get over this to feel more confident?

What are your views on homosexuality?

I honestly don’t know because there are some people who convert from a life time of being an atheist, but for me I guess Islam just made sense as I did believe in a god or some form of higher power previously

Walaikum assalam! Mabrook sis!

id say slowly but surely, I’d personally wear it to work last, because people will inevitably have questions and lots of them, and especially about Islam. But you’re well within your rights to say I don’t want to talk about religion at work. In fact I’d say that’s the best approach as people will get offended one way or another.

but confidence wise, it doesn’t have to be all or nothing or perfection now. Maybe start out with wearing it around town, feel comfortable work out a style where you feel yourself( some people like turbans in the beginning)

We’ve discussed that up thread :)

Can you explain a bit more about Ramadan. What are the things you have to do? Thank you. Very interesting so far!

Why do you think Muslims perpetrate genocide to their own people in the Middle East and terror attacks in the west? Is it media being bias or is there an inherent problem with extremist beliefs?

Thought you weren’t commenting anymore?

So if you are able (able being defined as not bringing too much hardship, so not pregnant, breastfeeding, travelling, of good health, not elderly and not a child) you will abstain from food or water from sun up to sun down. That’s the basics of it. it’s for one lunar month.

there’s special ramadan prayers, called taraweh that occur every night, they can be quite long.

some people lock themselves away in the mosque for some time of it (there is a name for this, I can’t recall it though) and just focus on their relationship with Allah.

the purpose, aside from being a commandment is a very physical reminder of how fortunate we are, to have access to food and a bounty of food and water is blessing not afford to many.

charity is heavily encouraged