My parents had a rubbish divorce and my Dad bought me up AMA

[Theblackdogagain]

Thought this might be interesting if anyone wants to know the long term effect of being a child of warring parents and how it effected my life choices. Also my mother left me and my Dad bought me up

How old were you when your mother left and want contact do you have with her today?

I was 7 when she left and I haven't seen her since 18 and I wasn't court mandated to see her.

Ignoring the 'warring' element how did you find growing up with your Dad?

It was strange, I was the only person without a mum at home and he struggled with clothes and things. From the age of 12 I had a step mum and step sisters so more of a normal family and a mum figure to help me through puberty.

Do you know what they were 'warring' about and why she didn't keep in touch?

What would you say the long lasting impacts (if any) the divorce had on you?

What is your longest relationship?

She had an affair for many years before leaving, Dad tried to make it work. She chose her new man and family over me.

Did you get on with your stepmum? Did she play a big role in parenting you?

It makes me believe nothing is forever and my husband knows that I don't believe in happily ever after. Dh and I have been together over 25 years and even now I'm not secure. It also means my kids are the most important thing to me and they come first all the time.

Yes and no, I was a difficult teenager and felt unloved so those were interesting years. As an adult she is the only mum figure in my live , she was my mum at my wedding, helped plan it etc.

Have you ever tried to contact your mum, or has she ever attempted to contact you since?

Have you had any counselling? I imagine it has had such a big impact on you and it might help you process some things.

I haven't since the last letter from her husband saying what a bad person I am. She hasn't, she has my phone number but has never called me.

On and off, most therapists won't touch it but I'm pretty self aware and day to day manage OK.

I'm sorry you haven't had good support. You sound very well grounded.

That's horrible. And what the fuck does he know! It sounds like she hasn't taken any accountability for her actions. I hope it hits her one day.