Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AMA
Original poster

I've just been to NYC alone...

108 replies

PleaseBeHappier · 01/03/2024 16:52

Not that interesting but I'm bored and going through a huge personal situation so might as well keep myself occupied...

OP posts:
DeadDoveDoNotEat · 01/03/2024 18:29

It sounds like it's changed quite a bit... I was there in 2000 with a mate and never felt unsafe (and that's with being daft young things with underdeveloped risk assessment skills). It was great, I literally felt like I'd landed in a film.

allfurcoatnoknickers · 01/03/2024 18:37

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 01/03/2024 17:27

My best friend who's a New Yorker from Forest Hills (where Flushing is) - hates the subway too for the reasons you say! I like it (apart from the grime) due to the E trains, fact it's cheaper than the tube and when I first used it it ran 24/7 and tubes in London stopped just before/after midnight.

I agree with you re dodgy areas and grimy.

There are certain areas even New Yorkers won't go after dark and when I first went there aged 16 was told you go there to Poughkeepsie etc to get drugs and guns.

For me I was lucky as I knew this girl since we were 12, she came to London a lot as her mom knew my British mum through a teacher exchange. So when I finally visited by myself at 16, I had New Yorkers taking me about, teaching me New York attitude and telling me what to watch out for. It was a bit scary the first time I did stuff alone, like go to a deli and order a sandwich (I felt like Elish in Brooklyn) or go to Bloomies alone, but most New Yorkers I found were friendly enough if brusque, I just had to get used to tipping, especially taxi drivers and remember that the city is laid out on a grid system.

Edited
Show quote history

Poughkeepsie is 2 hours away from NYC. That's like saying that Londoners go to Stoke-on-Trent to buy their drugs 😂.

Original poster
PleaseBeHappier · 01/03/2024 18:38

Justleaveitblankthen · 01/03/2024 18:24

What exactly happened on the Subway OP? Or was it just a menacing atmosphere?

I got inside an elevator and two people (man and woman) just started screaming at me. I don't know what they were saying (Puerto Rican?) but I just froze and stared at the floor. He was eyeballing me and trying to get me to respond. I'm absolutely convinced if I'd made eye contact it would have been worse. Other than that it was just eerie in general. The station was so quiet and hardly anyone was around other than a few guys smoking weed and staring at me (and no I am not being paranoid) I was dragging a massive suitcase clearly a female tourist alone. I was approached by several beggars on the ride through and there were a couple of other people shouting to themselves and clearly struggling with mental health issues. It just wasn't very pleasant. For a Friday morning I assumed it would be busier and I would just blend in but it wasn't and I stuck out like a sore thumb. I didn't think it was wise to get off halfway through because I didn't know the neighbourhood above me. People will probably tell me I'm being a twat but it was horrible and I was really frightened!

OP posts:
HanSB · 01/03/2024 18:38

I came back a couple weeks ago and feel similar to you. I live in London so used to City grit but I felt uneasy with the openly mentally unwell homeless people everywhere. It felt similar to the crisis in San Francisco. We also stayed in the Financial District and were up early and there are soup kitchens in the area so a lot of them stay there. It’s unsettling to see dozens of people ranting and raving on drugs and mentally unwell. Yes also to the smell of weed everywhere and being hassled constantly for money. This along with the massive rats we saw almost everyday means I doubt I will go back again. Frequent visitor before Covid.

genegeniusjeanjeanie · 01/03/2024 18:41

What was it about the subway that was so scary?

I've never been but it's been on my bucket list forever. I live in London so I'm very used to the underground system here. It's very very rare I'll feel unsafe on the tube. There have been a few countries through where I've felt vulnerable on the undergrounds / MTS but I think that is more about unfamiliarity.

genegeniusjeanjeanie · 01/03/2024 18:42

Oh i just read your subway experience. That does sound horrible!

Movinghouseatlast · 01/03/2024 18:49

I've been on my own for work a few times and I think I must be the only person who absolutely loathes New York.

I found it so dirty and it absolutely stank of fried chicken ( I stayed quite near Times Square) Everything was a bit of a disappointment. The Statten Island Ferry, the Highline, Brooklyn Bridge ,Central Park. It made me really appreciate how brilliant London is. Also it all looked the same to me!

Mistletoewench · 01/03/2024 19:00

HanSB · 01/03/2024 18:38

I came back a couple weeks ago and feel similar to you. I live in London so used to City grit but I felt uneasy with the openly mentally unwell homeless people everywhere. It felt similar to the crisis in San Francisco. We also stayed in the Financial District and were up early and there are soup kitchens in the area so a lot of them stay there. It’s unsettling to see dozens of people ranting and raving on drugs and mentally unwell. Yes also to the smell of weed everywhere and being hassled constantly for money. This along with the massive rats we saw almost everyday means I doubt I will go back again. Frequent visitor before Covid.

I’ve heard this about San Francisco as well x

WaitingForSunnyDays · 01/03/2024 19:17

I was last there in 2015 and never felt unsafe, so it sounds like it has changed a bit. I definitely would not pick the financial district to stay in though!

Original poster
PleaseBeHappier · 01/03/2024 19:27

WaitingForSunnyDays · 01/03/2024 19:17

I was last there in 2015 and never felt unsafe, so it sounds like it has changed a bit. I definitely would not pick the financial district to stay in though!

Why? The financial district was fine. It's just not ideal if you want to go out at night there. It's just office buildings and Starbucks etc so definitely involves either a cab or the subway if you want to go anywhere further up for dinner and drinks. It was pretty cool looking out of my hotel window in the morning and seeing all the Wall Street traders firing themselves up at their desks in the building across the road!

OP posts:
Milsteen · 01/03/2024 19:51

I’ve enjoyed this thread, thanks OP. I’ve always wanted to go but I’ve lost my nerve and not sure I’ll bother now. Should’ve gone 20 years ago!

allfurcoatnoknickers · 01/03/2024 19:53

@Milsteen I live here with two small kids, it's really fine and not scary at all!

Mitsky · 01/03/2024 19:56

I can’t believe you didn’t go out after dark!

NYC is like any other city, just keep your wits about you and you’re fine.

Milsteen · 01/03/2024 20:00

Ah thanks allfurcoat, it’s not just NY. I haven’t travelled anywhere in years and have lost the drive that I used to have.

ChristianHornersGlisteningFinger · 01/03/2024 20:05

PleaseBeHappier · 01/03/2024 17:46

One other thing I will say is that every New Yorker I spoke to was very helpful. Despite having my phone I had to ask a lot of people for directions, they were all lovely to me. I was ignored once by three people who literally walked straight past me when I said "excuse me" but I presume they thought I was a beggar. In London I would say sorry I don't have anything but in NYC I quickly realised you have to just ignore them. It felt rude but even if you say no thank you they saw it as acknowledgement and hassle you further (that's only my own experience though).

There is a MASSIVE mental health crisis over there, a lot of people just banging their heads against their hands and rambling to themselves.

The only bad experience I personally had was on that JFK subway ride. Never, ever again. I wish I had just got a taxi as it ruined my first day. But all okay in the end.

Haven’t been for a while but I always got the bus (coach) from JFK to Grand Central Station. Was that not an option?

Original poster
PleaseBeHappier · 01/03/2024 20:09

allfurcoatnoknickers · 01/03/2024 19:53

@Milsteen I live here with two small kids, it's really fine and not scary at all!

Are you the one who posted your AMA a while ago? If so thank you. I tried a few things out on your advice. I'm not trying to bash NYC overall it was great as I say, just a few unexpected things. But I disagree it IS scary in parts. Perhaps you're just tougher than I am x

OP posts:
TheBossOfMe · 01/03/2024 20:10

Hi @PleaseBeHappier I spend a lot of my time in NY because my job is dual located between London and NY - I think you managed a lot of great experiences in your time there, sounds great! A few comments.

FiDi is really grimy vs other parts of NY but in general it’s not very clean because of how rubbish is disposed of and collected. And it’s below the grid so is a bit sunless and soulless at the weekend (my office is down there). But it’s a great value location - you get a tonne of bang for your buck, smart choice on your part! Much better than near Times Square which is awful.

I never take the subway. It’s always been grim but city policy towards people who are homeless or have mental health issues or substance abuse issues in the pandemic made it so much worse. I feel incredibly sorry for the people who moved into it because all support was withdrawn, but I don’t ride it at all. NY is a very walkable city - and if you want to go a longer distance the railroads are good and safe.

Weed - welcome to America. It’s really like that everywhere, legal state or not. It’s more socially acceptable to smoke a joint than a cigarette! I hate it, but it’s absolutely not a NY thing alone.

Pizza - did you get a slice from Joe’s in FiDi? My fave place downtown :)

It’s a great city to travel to on your own. I know you said it wasn’t what you were expecting. But I think you got the best of the city for sure. Sounds great to me :)

WaitingForSunnyDays · 01/03/2024 20:10

PleaseBeHappier · 01/03/2024 19:27

Why? The financial district was fine. It's just not ideal if you want to go out at night there. It's just office buildings and Starbucks etc so definitely involves either a cab or the subway if you want to go anywhere further up for dinner and drinks. It was pretty cool looking out of my hotel window in the morning and seeing all the Wall Street traders firing themselves up at their desks in the building across the road!

Show quote history

I like to be able to walk out of a hotel in the evening and wander around and go to restaurants nearby or a bit of life, so I don't enjoy the deadness of financial zones after hours - it feels a bit creepy. I'm sure there are some great hotels, and if you are happy to take a taxi then it will suit some people.

TheBossOfMe · 01/03/2024 20:12

WaitingForSunnyDays · 01/03/2024 20:10

I like to be able to walk out of a hotel in the evening and wander around and go to restaurants nearby or a bit of life, so I don't enjoy the deadness of financial zones after hours - it feels a bit creepy. I'm sure there are some great hotels, and if you are happy to take a taxi then it will suit some people.

Show quote history

You don’t need to take a taxi. FiDi to TriBeCa is easily walkable. They’re next to each other. And you save so so so much money staying in FiDi.

Original poster
PleaseBeHappier · 01/03/2024 20:12

ChristianHornersGlisteningFinger · 01/03/2024 20:05

Haven’t been for a while but I always got the bus (coach) from JFK to Grand Central Station. Was that not an option?

Show quote history

I did my research before I went and it was basically either the subway or £120 for a taxi. I chose the former and it was a very bad decision but people say it's safe so perhaps it was just a shit day. Or perhaps people feel safer if they are not travelling alone. Had I been with a husband I've no doubt I'd have not batted an eyelid. It's a lot easier to say things are easy if you know a loved one is watching your arse.

OP posts:
SandyWaves · 01/03/2024 20:14

The weed situation is eye opening, i didnt know it was that bad. The smell makes me want to vomit.

myphoneisbroken · 01/03/2024 20:14

Thanks for starting this thread, OP. I remember the subway from JFK being really spooky back in the 2000s as well - sorry you had such a horrible experience. Good for you for getting past it and enjoying your stay. It is really interesting to hear about the weed and the mental health crisis, I have heard similar things about LA and SF. I think even in the UK the urban fabric has deterioriated in the last 10 years (my city is very scruffy now, people live in tents in the park etc ) but it sounds more extreme and shocking in the US.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 01/03/2024 20:19

allfurcoatnoknickers · 01/03/2024 18:37

Poughkeepsie is 2 hours away from NYC. That's like saying that Londoners go to Stoke-on-Trent to buy their drugs 😂.

Show quote history

Maybe it where was someplace else… I forget but there was definitely someplace in New York where they all said you only go there to buy drugs and guns. I just googled it though and there has been drugs guns there found like a few so maybe you do go there.

Original poster
PleaseBeHappier · 01/03/2024 20:21

TheBossOfMe · 01/03/2024 20:10

Hi @PleaseBeHappier I spend a lot of my time in NY because my job is dual located between London and NY - I think you managed a lot of great experiences in your time there, sounds great! A few comments.

FiDi is really grimy vs other parts of NY but in general it’s not very clean because of how rubbish is disposed of and collected. And it’s below the grid so is a bit sunless and soulless at the weekend (my office is down there). But it’s a great value location - you get a tonne of bang for your buck, smart choice on your part! Much better than near Times Square which is awful.

I never take the subway. It’s always been grim but city policy towards people who are homeless or have mental health issues or substance abuse issues in the pandemic made it so much worse. I feel incredibly sorry for the people who moved into it because all support was withdrawn, but I don’t ride it at all. NY is a very walkable city - and if you want to go a longer distance the railroads are good and safe.

Weed - welcome to America. It’s really like that everywhere, legal state or not. It’s more socially acceptable to smoke a joint than a cigarette! I hate it, but it’s absolutely not a NY thing alone.

Pizza - did you get a slice from Joe’s in FiDi? My fave place downtown :)

It’s a great city to travel to on your own. I know you said it wasn’t what you were expecting. But I think you got the best of the city for sure. Sounds great to me :)

Thanks for your post mate, honestly I really liked the FD but I love being by water so it was perfect for me. On the Sunday I arrived for breakfast an hour too early so I took a stroll down to the harbour. It was absolutely amazing. Seeing BB and the SOL in the distance for the first time at 7am when the sky was still navy blue and the moon was shining - after seeing it in films for over 30 years - was a truly incredible feeling. Almost emotional.

One question if you're familiar with the United States in general. Maine is next on my list. Any advice? I'm a huge lover of the outdoors...

I vape and I was worried it wasn't socially acceptable there. I never saw one person vaping in the whole week. It's either a fag or a big fuck off joint. I didn't even realise it was legal there and even if I'd known I would have assumed it was in designated areas. Fuck me. What an eye opener!

OP posts:
TheBossOfMe · 01/03/2024 20:22

PleaseBeHappier · 01/03/2024 20:12

I did my research before I went and it was basically either the subway or £120 for a taxi. I chose the former and it was a very bad decision but people say it's safe so perhaps it was just a shit day. Or perhaps people feel safer if they are not travelling alone. Had I been with a husband I've no doubt I'd have not batted an eyelid. It's a lot easier to say things are easy if you know a loved one is watching your arse.

Show quote history

Airtrain to penn is better than the subway from Jamaica. And doesn’t cost much more.
Taxis from JFK are fixed fare though and nowhere near £120 even with tolls. It’s a $70 fixed fare plus tolls. I don’t think I’ve ever paid over $100 even when I’ve been somewhere that has a lot of traffic pls. You just need to queue for 10 mins for a yellow cab rather than jump into the expensive private car services.