I home school my DC, AMA

[ChiefWarlockOfTheWizengamot]

I home school my DC. AMA!

Note: to most of the community, it's home educate rather than home school, but the terms are used interchangeably more widely so I've used home school here.

What are your reasons?

Any decision has pros and cons, what do you think your DC misses out on by not being at school?

Why do you home educate? Do you manage to fit in a job too?

DC were both at school initially; we did not send them back post-Covid as they were thriving at home, and also at the time we had sold our house and had to move into rented accommodation due to the housing market being ridiculous - I didn't know where we'd end up buying and didn't want them to have to change schools more than once. We've since bought a place but have no plans to send them back - where we live there is a thriving home education community and both DC have said they are happier outside school than in.

So although we fell into it, as it were, I had always had my doubts about the school system - many, many things I didn't like about it, from the restrictions of the National Curriculum through to the many restrictions placed upon children (particularly at secondary school level but also at primary - I don't think it's developmentally healthy for six-year-old children to be sitting at desks all day, for instance). I also did not feel the school my DC were at challenged them academically or encouraged critical thinking - learning felt very much like a tick-box exercise rather than a joy IYSWIM.

That's it in a nutshell really. But I'm not totally anti school and my DC know if they want to go back I will be 100% supportive of that.

DH is the main wage earner; we could survive on one income but I feel it's prudent to keep my skills going and some connections in my own field of work, so I work about 20 hours a week on a self-employed basis. I have a few daytime meetings but most of my work is written and so it's done in the evenings and at weekends.

You mention a home ed community - do you swap expertise and get your children together in small groups to study sometimes or do you all teach from home and just swap ideas and resources?

My own DC prefer to study independently for the most part, but they have occasionally got together with home ed friends to do various projects. There are quite a few home ed co-ops where the learning structure is a bit more formalised and you attend set days/times but that doesn't work for our family so we don't do those.

We do do some skill swapping - I do some creative writing sessions for instance, and in exchange my DC have piano lessons.

I don't have any questions, my kids are all adults now, but can I just say that you sound very sensible 😂. Sometimes you hear from home educators who hold very extreme views and are very anti school. Good for you for being happy to send your kids back to school if they want that but for also supporting their learning at home.

I wouldn't have the patience. I used to be a primary school teacher but other people's kids are much easier to teach than one's own (in my opinion 😅)

Thank you. This is always a totally open conversation with my DC - if they ever want to go back they know they absolutely can.

At which age did you start homeschooling and are you finding it more or less difficult as they age? Will you be working towards traditional exams? How do you juggle different ages in the same lesson? I'm interested in home education but wouldn't know where to start!

But do you not feel you influence their decision with your opinions on schools such as '6 year old sitting at desks all day'? Which isn't really true.

Don't you ever fancy a break from your kids? How old are they? Is there any form of oversight to make sure you are actually teaching them? How confident are you that you have the skills and subject knowledge to make them reach their full potential, especially at secondary? Do you have a plan/ timetable?

They were 6 and 9 when I started and are now 9 and 12. There were difficulties when they were younger which are different to the difficulties we have now that they're older, I wouldn't say any stage has been noticeably more difficult so far.

Yes, we will definitely be working towards traditional exams (which, in the interests of transparency, takes money, so is a lot trickier if you're trying to do this on a low income). 1:1 learning is very different to the type of learning they do at school, so it's much easier doing different "lessons" for different ages than it would be if they were in a class of 30.

I have never said anything like them to this and nor have they overheard me saying this, so I doubt it. Of course my views would influence them in the same way that any parents' views do - I doubt you have ever asked a parent who sends their child to school if they are concerned they are influencing their children?

The 6 year olds sitting at desks all day comment came from my own personal experience of my own children. I felt the difference between reception and Y1 in particular was crazy.

Yes! But I get plenty of breaks. They do loads of drop off activities, play/go out with friends, spend time with their Dad, and spend plenty of time with our big extended family as well. So I get lots of downtime.

The council are meant to check in with us yearly but I never hear from them. I'm perfectly happy to communicate with them when they get in touch, but they don't!

I absolutely don't have the skills and subject knowledge to teach them both into secondary school level across all subjects. I would never be so arrogant as to assume that I did, either. External tutors will be engaged at that point for the relevant subjects. My 12 year old already has a Maths tutor.

Good for you op. I think our school system in the U.K. is pretty outdated now. We know so much more about about learning styles and neurodiversity but it's the same 'one size fits all' approach.

Both mine have gone through standard education but honestly I think it was a case of needs must rather than the best option.

I love the thought of independent learning and no bloody school run or term dates. So stifling.

Anyway my question is whether your children know what they would like to do as adults?

Thank you :)

The 12 year old is fairly set on being some kind of climate scientist. The 9 year old wants to be a writer. Very different pathways, very different kids!

My 5yr old started school this year and is quite unhappy, I’ve been wondering about whether part time home educating could work. What do you think? Would it be a bit confusing? Alienate her from other kids? Or best of both worlds? More time with me that helps her cope with the challenges (mainly navigating peer stuff, she’s fine academically)?

Do you mean flexi schooling? I think it can work really well, the problem is that from what I know, it's really difficult to get schools to agree to it long-term. I believe there is a facebook group for flexi schoolers so it might be worth taking a look there.

Don't they get on your nerves? I love my kids but I loved waving them off to school every day 😂

God, yes! But I get downtime from them, they do loads of stuff outside the house without me. And they have two parents so it's not all on me.

As a point of information, six year olds only sit in desks all day in a very few private schools. Never, as far as I know in state schools.

My DC were at a state school and there was a lot of "sit down" learning expected from a very young age IME. That's partly why we didn't send them back.

Do your children get a chance to spend time in any diverse social settings and develop their own friendships, or is all their socialising with the children of people you know? Do you have plans to help the older one in particular make autonomous friendships as they navigate the teens?

Do you feel you have the knowledge and skills required to give your children a high quality all round education?

How much time a week are they actually spending with other kids (other than eachother)