I have a son with Autism AMA

[BloominFlower]

Hi everyone, I’m not doing much at the moment so I thought I’d start a thread about autism and my experience with it since my son was diagnosed at 10 (he’s now 13). I believe he may have gotten it from me as I’ve always been a bit quirky (Not saying I have it though). I’m not a professional or anything, but hoping to answer and help any parents (whether they have it or their children) to understand it a bit better.

Hi there, My DS10 was diagnosed last month. The big worry for us is the transition to secondary school - luckily he’s only in year 5 so we have some time. How was you DS with this change? And how did you decide which school would be best?

DS1 is Year 5 and AuDHD (medicated at school). He copes well with life and knows his upcoming secondary well, because I teach there! I’m most worried about organisation/homework at secondary.

Can you maybe not suggest being a 'bit quirky' is indicative of a lifelong disability?

I agree.

OP what type of questions are you looking for?

I think you will find op that there are lots of people here whose children are ND too.

Thanks for your message ☺️

DS was extremely anxious with the transition at first, he went to a relatively small primary school so it was a bit jump. I even considered home school although I’m a lone parent and I work too so I’d either have to pay a lot or stop working, neither I could do. I only really had one choice of secondary school in The area sadly so there wasn’t much choice. As for his adjustment, we had a lit of chats about it leading up, slowly but surely he adjusted

I apologise, I didn’t know how else to put it, I believe I’ve perhaps got mild autism myself, although when I was younger it wasn’t really a thing other than being labelled awkward or strange. And autism is hereditary to some extent

That’s true, I just wanted to share my experience a bit and maybe give some advice

Any really, That’s the point of AMA

Why don't you use identity first language?

Have you done much research?

Why do you think you are worthy of being the voice of autistics/autistic children?

autisticadvocacy.org/about-asan/identity-first-language/

Well I didn’t really know about such phrasing, and to be honest it’s not much if a big deal in my opinion. Feel free to think otherwise.

I’ve done some ‘research’ yes. By internet forum standards of research I have, but actual scientific research, no. I have read some past academic papers in the past about the causes because I was curious. But nothing cutting edge per se

I never said I was any sort of leading figure, merely a parent of Someone who has it. And you’re right, I’m not a professional at all. But the background I come from many people still think it’s weird/not real and so I just wanted to spark a conversation with it.

Not everybody chooses identify-first language @egowise. It should be left up to the person themselves (or their family if they are unable to communicate their wishes).

I like hearing people’s experiences with their autistic children. The range of challenges is so varied, I’m always looking for people who have a shared parenting worry.

my DD is 10 and has not been diagnosed yet, the school suspects ASD and have been very helpful in getting support and a referral.

DD struggles most with anxiety around new situations or certain things like lifts.

separation anxiety is the absolute worst for her. she won’t go anywhere without us at the moment, except school with a lot of help from the teachers.

I worry about the way people are so keen to label and preach about what we can and can’t say about autism when most of the times it’s just people wanting to understand more and talk about their experiences.

my question is what additional support if any have you had when transitioning into high school? Is there anything that was or wasn’t helpful?

Thank you for sharing your experience, similarly to you daughter, DS gets stressed about everyday things like lifts. But even things like cars, trains, boats, and especially planes (basically every form of transport to some extent), he can deal with cars and trains. Boats and planes on the other hand less so. My son also struggled immensely with separation anxiety up until about year 3, then he got used to it although still isn’t great.

He receives support from the disability department at school via contacting SENCO and getting his EHC plan sorted (once she is diagnosed, I’d recommending the same if you feel she needs it). The school helps him by taking him out of particularly noisy classes which he is grateful for (but a little embarrassed), one way they have been a detriment is they treat him a bit like a baby at times, acting like he is incapable of simple tasks despite knowing him now for a year. But that shouldn’t detract from getting help. Hope this helps x

I also have a DS with asd so I love hearing other's experiences and how they are dealing with things. We moved my DS to an autism class in a mainstream school this year and it's been like night and day he has thrived with only 5 in his class.

Bless him! It sounds like it was a good decision then for sure. Is he in primary or secondary?

@BloominFlower he is 7. The mainstream class in his previous school had 25 and he hated the noise. He could never concentrate. Now with the small group it's great he is actually learning and he integrates into the mainstream class for some subjects so the best of both worlds