I use cocaine - AMA

[Thisisnotprincesskate]

I saw the similar thread about weed the other day so thought I would start this thread. Ask me anything.

If you can get a gram of good coke for £50 can you hook me up with your contact?

£50 for a gram will be batch, cut with all kinds of shit.

So you only use Coke when you drink alcohol ?

Yes but heavily drink on the weekends. I work mon-Friday.

How does using Coke self medicate your MH symptoms?

I'm poor and have been fucked over too. How do you justify creating human misery?

Heavily drinking and coke won't be helping your MH symptoms long term and could possibly get you into some dangerous or self esteem lowering situations. Of course many alcoholics in particular use alcohol to self medicate, but if you are aware of this then you are a step into giving up altogether which sounds like it would be the best thing for you long term. If you are spending 200 a month on coke and who knows how much on alcohol you could afford private counselling instead.

You’re spending £2,600 a year on coke alone. add in the money on your drinking, which you say is heavy. Let’s go a conservative £50 a week for that. That means you’re spending £5,200 a year on drugs and alcohol. Probably at a minimum.

You say you can’t afford help for your MH problems (which, as someone else pointed out, you’re making worse by taking the drugs) but you can, you’re just prioritising the wrong thing.

Would you like up stop, or are you happy carrying on?

CBT is well known not to work for my MH condition. It’s actually widely known with people who have my condition that a lot of counsellors refuse to treat people with it.

Yes I would like to stop. I quite honestly cannot see my life long term though. I have had 2 suicide attempts. I still feel like one day I will do it again. I do understand that people find it hard to have compassion when mental health involves self destructive behaviours but that doesn’t make it any easier to live with.

I never try to justify the toxic behaviours I have, I just wish sometimes the people in my life could sympathise that they aren’t something I can control and they aren’t what I want to be doing.

Which condition? I am not aware of any that counsellors refuse to treat, although I totally agree CBT, however much its pushed by the NHS, is not the best way to go for addiction particularly. Do you have past trauma OP?

OP, I would really recommend you attend a narcotics anonymous meeting. My friend was almost destroyed by cocaine and they helped him so much, in fact he's now a sponsor. You'll find people there who have experienced the same things as you without the judgment. Good luck to you.

how does it make you feel? If you’re ok for the majority of the week why do you need it to ‘medicate’ yourself? are you a sort of person who prefers to put responsibility for their own life onto other people and blame circumstances?

If you use it regularly, have you not found the buzz of it to not match the original high of the first initial times?

Meanwhile, kids are shooting and stabbing each other in turf wars to protect or take dealing areas.
Seen too many serious injuries and worse from the street dealing world in my former life as a cop.
And the weekend parties and sniff continue. It's beyond sad.

Is it two suicide attempts as you say here or multiple suicide attempts as you said earlier in the thread?

Is it two suicide attempts as you say here or multiple suicide attempts as you said earlier in the thread?

Last time I checked, 2 is a multiple.

I don’t crave it during the week but I still suffer as I have to be able to function for my job but I have incredibly suicidal thoughts, panic attacks etc when I’m not using.

What I'm seeing is that you're blaming everything in the world except yourself.

Have you ever read Rachel's Holiday by Marion Keyes? You might a lot in there that might open your eyes. Keyes is a former alcoholic and writes brilliantly about addiction.

I'm hoping you'll get some help @Thisisnotprincesskate .