My Brother Took His Life - AMA

Heroicallyfound · 03/05/2023 16:38

Have you had a safe place to talk about it and time to process it before opening yourself up here?

Are you hoping this will be a therapeutic exercise for you?

Take care of yourself.

monotonemusings · 03/05/2023 16:38

How are you doing?

weebarra · 03/05/2023 16:39

Big hugs, my sister did too.

WotNoUserName · 03/05/2023 16:42

So sorry. Was it recently? My brother also took his own life, 22 years ago this year.

Original poster

seventyfour75 · 03/05/2023 16:49

It's the 20th anniversary of his death this year. I feel it's just something I live with now.

OP posts:

Rinkydinkydoodle · 03/05/2023 17:01

I’m really sorry this happened, OP.

It feels a bit intrusive asking you even though it’s an AMA. I also really don’t want to upset you or anyone else.

Something I’ve often wondered about is how you felt about what happened immediately afterwards as opposed to how you feel now. I’d also like to know whether it changed your perception of your brother, and how what happened has affected your view of life and death, if it has.

Thanks very much for doing this.

LoonyLois · 03/05/2023 17:06

Was it a complete shock or had he been struggling?

Original poster

seventyfour75 · 03/05/2023 17:08

Rinkydinkydoodle · 03/05/2023 17:01

I’m really sorry this happened, OP.

It feels a bit intrusive asking you even though it’s an AMA. I also really don’t want to upset you or anyone else.

Something I’ve often wondered about is how you felt about what happened immediately afterwards as opposed to how you feel now. I’d also like to know whether it changed your perception of your brother, and how what happened has affected your view of life and death, if it has.

Thanks very much for doing this.

Looking back now, there were signs that he must of been depressed. We live in a very different world to 20 years ago. Mental health was talked about, was swept under the carpet.

In the days afterwards, I felt numb and obviously very sad but if I'm totally honest and I have to be, I felt embarrassed and a bit ashamed. I was only 21 and had never experienced death.

OP posts:

Original poster

seventyfour75 · 03/05/2023 17:10

LoonyLois · 03/05/2023 17:06

Was it a complete shock or had he been struggling?

Looking back there were signs of depression I guess, but it was a total shock. No one saw it coming.

OP posts:

Hohofortherobbers · 03/05/2023 17:37

Sorry for your loss. Did he make other attempts prior to this?

Original poster

seventyfour75 · 03/05/2023 17:44

Hohofortherobbers · 03/05/2023 17:37

Sorry for your loss. Did he make other attempts prior to this?

No. His first and final.

OP posts:

tortiecat · 03/05/2023 18:01

I'm so very sorry for your loss 💐
Please can you tell me if there is anything anyone said or did at the time or since that helped you in any way?

LosGibertyisacelebration · 03/05/2023 19:15

I have a question but I’m worried it might be too insensitive so please don’t answer if you don’t want to and I’m very sorry if it’s too upsetting. Do you know how he did it? I’m not asking you to tell me how, just if you know or not? My little brother killed himself 8 years ago, he was 25 and like you it was a complete shock but there were signs he was going through something looking back. The reason I am asking is my dad won’t tell us any details whatsoever about my brother because he says he doesn’t want us to have the images he has. I’ve gone back and forth over the years of wanting to know or not. I’m really unsure which is better, knowing for sure or having all the different images I imagine it could have been. I’m so sorry for your loss, death is always sad however it happens but it seems everything is extreme when it’s a suicide. Do you ever feel guilty for not asking him or talking to him? (You absolutely shouldn’t if you do but it’s easy to say that isn’t it, whole different thing to not feel it) x