I was adopted - AMA

[NooNooHead1981]

I was given up for adoption from birth after being born prematurely... AMA.

Have you done ancestry DNA? Do you know if you have any siblings?

Did your adoptive parents give you a good life? Have you traced your birth parents?

No, but I met my birth mum and sister. Unfortunately my birth mum died from cancer last year, but she had been ill for a long time.

I've never met my birth father though.

My adoptive parents are wonderful and gave me a very loving, happy upbringing, and I didn't want for anything. It was pretty middle class, comfortable and stable.

My late brother was adopted too (he wasn't my biological brother though).

I've never met my birth father. He was from Hong Kong and a drug addict, who introduced my birth mum to heroin (hence why I was born 3 months prematurely).I've no idea if he is alive or not.

Would you consider adopting a child yourself?

If I'd not been able to have children of my own, yes. But given that a lot of adopted children probably have many emotional and possible physical problems, I'm not sure that I'd be the right person to be able to raise a child like this. After seeing my parents raise my brother and a lot of the problems it caused, I am not sure I'd be strong enough (although obviously a non-adopted child could be equally difficult too, of course).

Has the drugs or prematurity impacted you?

Yes in some ways they have. I have a slight squint and lazy eye in my left eye, mild high frequency hearing loss, and I'm pretty sure the heroin has had an impact on my brain chemistry.

I'm sure that I have ADHD and possibly autistic traits, and I've read how certain drugs like heroin can modify the genetics of someone in the long term, possibly from switching on or off the parts of DNA that wouldn't be active if the drug wasn't there.

I've also had a medication induced neurological involuntary movement disorder called tardive dyskinesia from an off label antipsychotic prescribed after a head injury and post concussion syndrome 9 years ago, and my neurologist said that the heroin possibly predisposed me to being more susceptible to thing like this (and medication adverse effects).

Have your adopted parents always been open with you about your adoption?

I'm a mum by adoption, I've always been honest and open with my kids at age appropriate levels. Is there any you wish your parents had done differently?

Yes, extremely. They even gave me a special children's book about adoption at about aged 5, so I could understand what it was.

No, they have been very sensitive and sensible and appropriate with telling me, exactly as you have. You sound like a wonderful mum ❤

I am a foster parent and I am in touch with all of my fosterlings still, do you think this is a positive thing? I was in foster care myself and have a huge hole in my childhood where I have no idea if I was loved or wanted, I am hoping my fosterlings will grow to know they have always been loved and that they will know all of their past life stories.

Oh bless you, yes I'm sure it's a wonderful thing for your foster children. You obviously cared for them very much and your love will always be there, which will be something that has helped them very much growing up. You are obviously an amazing mum and I'm so sorry you felt like you had a hole in your childhood 😢