I home educate my DC AMA

[PsycheEros]

They are 8 and 6. The 6 year old has never been to school, the 8 year old was pulled out in reception. Fire away!

Sounds like they’re doing well to me!

Very small children can learn phonics and numbers through play, literacy/critical things through reading, and world around us stuff from baking, exploring and discussing what we see happening in the world. Anything involving manual dexterity, art involving making marks, activities that build finger strength is moving towards writing. Engaging with them in their learning and giving opportunities to learn is part of parenting anyway. Following this up with becoming aware of the sounds they're making and showing these on a flashcard, picking sounds out in stories, counting during games that require money or just holding little rocks behind your back and asking how many you have and how many more it would take to make ten - this is all education. Reception year children can be learning their phonics rhymes and number bonds without realising this is learning. You can keep this up all through key stage 1. I would say you can start as soon as you can interact with your child with the emphasis being on making it enjoyable.

Critical thinking

Same as other children - a range of ways depending on how secure and confident they are, their personalities, their previous experiences.
Even children raised in the same family respond to different situations in different ways.

@1AngelicFruitCake I wonder if you are misunderstanding what creates resilience in children?
Children don't need to experience a large amount of stress, bullying or unfairness in order to 'toughen up' and become resilient in later life.
Children who have strong family relationships and are raised very supportively, kept safe, given choices and have self confidence are more able to bounce back when they experience negative things in later life.

Lots of damaging experiences in early childhood doesn't make for stronger adults, it makes you more likely to experience mental health problems.

I’m not misunderstanding, it’s a difference in opinion. I had all of the things you describe in abundance but I didn’t have small, real life experiences and I struggled. My parents clearly thought as you do and in a lot of ways it worked but I see the little knocks as what are helping to ’toughen’ my children up to exist in today’s world. ‘Large amounts of stress, bullying and unfairness’ as you put it are not what I’m referring to. I’m talking about the little injustices here and there that we all have to deal with and that trying to protect our children from them can be much more damaging.

Parents are more overprotective than ever and the numerous posts on mumsnet about young people at work, teachers with pupils etc give numerous examples of children who have been protected and cannot cope when things don’t go their way.

Personally I think my boys are better at coping when things don't go their way than many other children of the same age (schooled and home educated). In my opinion this is largely due to us trying to raise them with a growth mindset, as I spoke about earlier. I don't think school has anything to do with it (schools are, however, not very good at encouraging growth mindsets).

Your examples all relate to children at school, so not sure why this would be a home ed issue?

I assume home educated children get jobs in the future?

?
You - someone who went to school - lacked resilience.
You've read threads on here from teachers who say school children are overprotected.
You've read threads from employers complaining about gen z employees who went to school.

I can't see how any of this relates to home ed?

You say schools aren’t good at doing this but how much experience have you of schools?

I can quite believe that home educated children (when done well) are above average academically due to 1:1 teaching and a different approach to learning. I think schools have their place and give children more exposure to people different to themselves and their family, which bring their own benefits.

I just think there is a lack of resilience in general and you talked about a loving home, engaged parents being enough (you didn’t mention home education in that comment, just as I replied with a general comment) and I replied to say I don’t think that is enough.

some do, and do well. some are totally unemployable

You can say the same for school educated children. It would be interesting to see official statistics, but I dont think they exist.

Personally, I know a higher proportion of home edded non-SEND children that end up unemployed,

Maybe it's schools that are the problem then, producing all these young people who lack resilience and struggle in the workplace.

If there is a lack of resilience in general, and most children go to school, then by that logic surely the problem is school?

Plenty. I went to school myself, I part raised two much younger siblings who went to school, my eldest went to school for a time, all the other children in my family go to school, most of my friend's children go to school, two of my best friends are teachers, as is my SIL.

Of course schools have their place, I never said otherwise, but you are wrong in asserting they necessarily give children more exposure to people different to themselves and their family. My own kids are at several different groups a week, with different children (schooled and home educated) as opposed to being with 20-30 of the exact same children 5 days a week, all of whom (in this area) would be from very similar backgrounds.

Why would they not?!

What is that last comment even supposed to mean. Did you mean to say 'ended up'? Your comment makes no sense otherwise.

Re diversity.. when my dc were in school it was 95% white working class kids, very little diversity, everyone from a similar demographic and 2-3 mile radius. Our HE groups were way more diverse.. we certainly had Christian, Muslim, and atheist families, some new age / hippy beliefs, fewer gender stereotypes, more non white and mixed race families, different socioeconomic backgrounds. So that was actually a big plus for us, but maybe different areas are different.

I find home education fascinating I am early years teacher, I found you r Thursday routine example really interesting and how I would see myself doing home Ed if I was too (I'm not my daughter has severe needs and is in special school , and another in mainstream happy ) but the issue I have with it is not everyone would be as diligent , so it could be complete lottery on how well its done, and like u said there is a set of unschooling or cult of anti vaxxs (who I would argue that it's determental to their children's lives) and I would find to exist in that same space be really difficult. Do you find it difficult yourself?

Unschoolers are not the same as anti-vaxxers. (Not sure if you thought we were!) I disagree with some people's practices, but I don't find either group to be cult-like. I guess insofar as anyone is cult-like, they'd be disinclined to mix with the rest of us!

You're right that the home ed community is very diverse. I don't see that as a bad thing. Yes, it is challenging to spend time wIth people whose views are very different from our own. Doing so is also tremendously valuable to both the children and adults. Some people on this thread have wrongly assumed that home educated kids would only mix with others from the same background!

At the same time, it can be relaxing and helpful to associate with people whose approach aligns with your own. Socially, people gravitate toward others with whom they feel comfortable. And of course, for practical reasons some home ed activities will attract certain "types": the teen boardgames club I run attracts about 70% unschoolers because kids doing formal lessons simply have less time for extracurriculars. In my area, there are thousands of home educated kids. I go to big groups where we socialise with a wide range of families, and then also smaller groups, some of which consist of mainly unschoolers, or mainly families whose kids have special needs or whatever. If people feel themselves to be the odd one out for one reason or another, they might try a different group instead. Or they might decide that what's on offer is so appealing that they'll stay anyway.

I know are different, im not saying unschooling is a cult!
there is a selection of parents who will give no rules let them do what they want when they want. I had a child in my class like this parents had opnion that their child decided everything. They wouldn't impose anything on her. She choose if she bathed , washed brushed hair , decided what to eat , she didn't have a bedroom just slept when ever she layed down, was definitely extreme , she came in to reception class and couldn't cope at all. She was lovely little girls she just couldn't deal with any demand however small on her, she could only play with others when they were doing what she wanted. And spent most of time not takng part in anything. It was really sad to see. To me that was the parents bringing her up and it was determental to her life. As parents we belive we are doing the best for our children and obviously we all have that choice to a certain extent I just think there will be choices families make in home schooling I guess maybe in parenting in general, that isn't best always however they think. I think this OP is being diligent others won't. I'm not saying school is for everyone either it's a balance isn't it. I just worry about them children who are in bad home schooling situations and it's not their choice. At school u take mental note of the children who have difficult home lives and do what u need to do weather that's referral to safe guarding or give them a bigger snack if you don't think they had breakfast etc. Small things as well as big. That cannot happen when they don't go school.

Schools miss abuse and neglect constantly. Being in school doesn't necessarily protect children from neglect and abuse.