I have volunteered in emergency shelters for 30 years AMA

[everybodyin]

I have been a volunteer running and supporting emergency shelters for rough sleepers for over 30 years now. AMA

No, that is not right, refugees are not entitled to housing. They may be entitled to benefits to help with housing if they find housing themselves, but this can be impossible, without references, and a deposit.

This is quite often where we come in, If we house someone in our shelter for a couple of months, and can say they remained sober and reliable for that time, then we can give a reference and deposit, and set them up. We however, cannot take under 18s, however we did manage to get this family into a hostel room, so they are at least on the first rung of the ladder. We don't take under 18s into any of our emergency shelters, in theory, but in practice we have sometimes. In these cases, we have to empty the whole shelter, so it is ONLY that family living there, and move them on ASAP.

How does it not break you?

I'm in tears just reading this post. How do you protect your mental health in the face of so much human suffering?

Ah I've found the answer in one of your subsequent replies:

There was an attempt to take the child into care because the parents were homeless.

That is the unlawful bit. Please refer them to the Refugee Council so they can be signposted to some free legal advice.

But of course another problem with housing a refugee family is the gap between leaving asylum seeker accommodations, which can happen without notice, and being allocated BandB through the council

I'm just off out, I will catch up with the thread when I get back

No, that is not right, refugees are not entitled to housing.

Sorry I should have said they're entitled to apply for social housing and benefits (which they wouldn't have been before) - I didn't mean to give the impression they are automatically entitled to housing (that would be feeding into right wing stereotypes!)

Yes I remember that from when I worked in Children's Services - we would often accommodate refugee families temporarily (using our s17 budget) due to the delay between NASS support ending and their new welfare entitlements kicking in.

And our legal department would have wiped the floor with me if I'd have suggested taking the child into care as that has been unlawful for decades.

Anyway, I wish your family all the very best for their future, I hope they find permanent accommodation soon.

I'll stop derailing your thread now!

What do you think should be done to solve the problem that isn’t being done? Or are we doing the right things, but there just isn’t enough money to go round?

Hi OP, such a good thread, fascinating and full of valuable insight and knowledge. I'm another one curious to hear something about your own boundaries, how you manage your own feelings and emotional and cognitive responses to some of what you see and experience through your work at the shelter. Because you're a long-term volunteer, I'm kind of assuming you can afford to be (both materially and emotionally). How robust constitutionally would you say people working in that environment need to be, and how would things change if you were struggling financially yourself, do you think?

I'm shocked there was a family with a young child sleeping rough. Where I live that is unheard of and we have a lot of new refugees in the area. There are mothers with children who are homeless but not who are actually living rough. I'm guessing shelter was found for them immediately? I hope so.

Lots of the people I work with who are homeless are presentable and polite. To look at them you wouldn't guess they were struggling. You can never know peoples stories.

OP thank you for this enlightening thread with so much valuable info (as PP said)
How do you cope with supporting people often going through such unhappiness and desperation, who often cannot be helped as they should? How do you defend yourself against it, and draw lines for yourself?

We do liaise with the Refugee council, and Refugees at home, and many other local and national charities. They are in touch with them now

I guess I am used to keeping an emotional distance, and of course I know that we can help people, and I see people's situation improving.

But there are certain people and stories that stay with you forever

The blind man with his map to the shelter, which he couldn't read, and nobody he approached would speak to him or help him, they just backed away - I saw what was happening when I found him

The 18 year old gay boy struggling to finish his A levels at a top private day school, without them finding out his parents had thrown him out the day they discovered he was gay

The 16 and 17 year olds desperate to pretend to be 18

The refugee jeweller who was working in his studio when a friend arrived with his passport and warned him to run, and he ran to the airport in his shorts and flipflops, wearing as many of his rings as he could pick up in those few final seconds. When I met him in London a few weeks later, he was still only wearing shorts, flipflops and about a dozen rings

The legal secretary with hypothermia and pneumonia sleeping in her car and ironing her work clothes in the local laundrette

The young Muslim widow in the 30s who had been thrown out of her home by her brother in law the day her husband died, sleeping rough

The young teachers crammed together in an illegal squat dreading their head teacher finding out they were going to be evicted.

I could go on for several pages - some of these were many years ago, but they stay with you.

I wish I knew!

Make empty properties available to the council for putting tenants in.

Fair and stable rents imposed, lots of people become homeless when their rents are raised and they can't pay. I don't see why there can't be some formula to give a maximum rent that is legal, based on council tax banding.

OP have you had a lot of training over the years, and if so, has it been provided by the charity because you're a volunteer?

This has got me thinking!

Training that my main charity has provided... first aid at work, food hygiene, fire extinguisher use - these come around every few years and I join on or not, depending on whether I have a current certificate from another source. It is a very small charity with a very small number of paid staff and a large number of volunteers, and they outsource their training.

Other charities that I deal with/volunteer for are very much bigger, and with far more staff, and do their training inhouse. I have had training on various legal situations, and how to write legally correct letters, if that is the right way to describe it, some training on benefits, etc, but that goes out of date very fast. A lot of "general" training about the principles and ethos of the charities, and how to deliver them, safeguarding, etc. These are probably once a year. I normally go, although I have heard all the training before, it is interesting to also hear the facts and figures from the year before. I do a lot of recruitment and initial training of new volunteers, so I have had training on how to do that.

I have had a little bit of language training, provided free online.

That's all that springs to mind

The most common type of behaviour I see that is destructive is a kind of love and generosity for the whole world, sharing everything with everyone, letting anyone in to your secure accommodation, lending anyone your tiny amount of money if they ask for it - no boundaries, judgement or discernment. This is the result of a form of attachment disorder in childhood, and is strangely incompatible with modern living!

An interesting comment. I know someone who was street homeless for a while and can see this type of behaviour in him. This behaviour soon results in fall outs with these friends. I didn't realise it was a trait of people who become homeless.

My homeless friend said most people he met on the streets were drug addicts or or alcoholics.

yes, drug addiction or alcoholism MAY be a factor in making someone homeless, but also, these issues can be a result of homelessness, and particularly with alcohol, it is more common to develop a dependency after you become homeless rather than before. Drinking can be seen as a quick, easy and reliable way to feel less cold, frightened and hopeless

The poor discernment must lead to extreme codependency issues.

Do you ever feel an empathy deficit or burnout from being a helper.

No, I haven't but I have never felt emotionally overwhelmed either. I think a certain ability to keep emotional distance is quite important.

I never give up on anybody. I am always prepared to start again from where ever we are now, even if it is a few steps back from where we were last month

That includes out arsonists, but I would never let them into a closed shelter again. I suppose I am to some extent going through the motions with some people, hoping that this time will be successful, when other times have failed, but not really expecting it to be

But you can never tell, some rough sleepers who have been alcoholic for years and sleeping out for decades, you catch them at the right moment, and yes, they want to change and accept help.

These "tough nuts" are the minority though. Most rough sleepers will do anything to get under shelter, and sometimes it is lucky that we scoop them up first, rather than brothel owners, of cannabis farmers, etc

Do the arsonists set fires by accident, or is it an attention seeking or compensation seeking action?

I mentioned this earlier on in the thread, when I was asked what I found hardest. In a closed shelter, ( as opposed to an open one) we can ask someone to leave if they are not following the rules, and the hardest thing I have ever faced is when disgruntled ex- residents have been allowed back in by current residents, and started fires.

It is unusual, but one of my biggest fears, and worst experiences

So, yes, deliberate, and these are the people I was referring to when I said I don't give up on anyone, and I would be prepared to help in many ways, but someone who is known, or suspected of starting a fire would never be allowed back in to a shelter

Amazing work that you do OP.

Have you ever felt in danger from a resident

and

Do former residents ever get in touch to tell you their good news stories/positive progress?

In danger from a resident, not physically no. We take care never to be alone, and always have doors open if having a quiet conversation. My main fear from a resident would be a false accusation, of taking bribes, or something like that.

I have had a few hair raising situations on the way in and out of shelters, sometimes, and felt threatened then

Yes, we often hear how past residents are doing. We liaise with various charities as we move people on, so keep a close eye on their success rates when recommending a placement. We also have old residents keeping in touch, and many who return to volunteer as well.

Yes, really amazing work.

The trauma of homelessness lasts for generations, its sometimes hard to understand people because we don't know their trauma history. The shame and secrecy about these traumas create barriers to healing.

Hope you have a great day and thanks for all that you do.