I adopted and have a bio child ama

[Edinlassy]

I have a 16 year old bio child and 12 year old adopted child. They were 3 and 6 when youngest came home. Ask away x

Do you think your adopted child will feel inferior?
I'm adopted too, the youngest with an older brother who is the bio child.

Hi, well for us it’s been 9 years now for us. Both kids are the same Alex but have turned out very different in personality. Youngest (adopted) is absolutely the more dominant personality and shows absolutely no signs of feeling inferior in any way. However he is hitting the teen stage this year and those hormones are out in full force so hard to say what f next few years will bring. So far though no we have never had an issue where he feels inferior that he has vocalised. Certainly for us as parents he is exactly the same to us as our birth son if anything we feel more protective of him.

@ISpyCobraKai i truly hope you don’t feel inferior to your sibling. As an adoptive parent myself neither of my kids came east to me (ivf then adoption) but I wouldn’t change a thing now. I love them equally I see no difference because I birthed one of them. I hope you feel that way. My biggest worry is that in a few years he will want to find his birth family then won’t want to know us x

I'm the bio. child in this kind of arrangement. I presume my parents were on the list for adoption when I turned up too. Did you have any issues with the adoption from the point of view of your older child? I was far too young to notice as I was 16 months and my DSis was 3 weeks.

Ah this is amazing to talk to you also to see thing from my older sons side so to speak though you were very young it seems when your sibling came along.

so for us adopting we had to have a minimum for 3 years age between our bio child and adopted child so they were in a natural order for our older child and not both in the same development stage. This was the adoption service rules but it worked well for us and felt like the natural flow of things though we missed out the baby stage with our youngest. How have been things for you?

Just popping in to say hi - I have a 17 yo bio child and a 13 yo adopted child 😀

Hi @Ketzele

How did you find the adoption process? What made you decide to adopt?

I am the younger bio sibling which seems a more unusual situation. Mine was a
complex set up though.

I actually weirdly enjoyed the process. We lucked out with our social worker she was amazing and made the process as easy as possible for us. We were mucked around a lot at the start which was off putting as we just couldn’t seem to get things moving but once we did it was fine.
Some sessions were more challenging than others and it was difficult to lay our hearts open about our fertility journey but every session we completed meant another step closer.
We decided to adopt as we could not face any more ivf and that was the only way for us to have children biologically. I have always been keen to adopt or foster but also longed to go through the experience of carrying a child. We were fortunate enough to have 1 live birth through ivf. For us we just couldn’t face more ivf anymore and decided we wanted to pursue adoption when our son was old enough. He was 5 when we started the process.

@Newrumpus wow yes you don’t hear if that dynamic often.

Weird question, and I hope it is okay to ask, but do you find that your adopted child doesn't smell quite right to you somehow? I ask because I have two friends with adopted DC (no bio kids) and they both say that whilst they love the smell of their children, on an animalistic level they don't smell quite "right" to them. I find the ides fascinating and wondered whether it is something that would be more obvious with a bio child in the mix.

@Careerdilemma no question is weird. My answer to that would be no it’s not something I have ever noticed but I guess that’s a very individual thing.