Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AMA
Original poster

Ask a Muslim anything

407 replies

Lesschubtolove · 28/02/2023 17:20

Another thread on a Quran being kicked about has brought up some pretty ugly stereotypes on Muslims and a perception that we all want blasphemy laws and death threats are part of our religion and that a Quran only matters in Arabic. None are true but it dawned on me actually that there are a lot of mistruths and Misconceptions about what Muslims believe, think or do.

Well ask away… the questions you maybe wanted to know but thought you might get in trouble for or would be frowned upon

OP posts:
Original poster
Lesschubtolove · 28/02/2023 23:19

Vinniepolis · 28/02/2023 23:12

Thank you, it’s been a very interesting and informative thread.

I was quite surprised that you haven’t heard about the Batley teacher (in hiding after showing drawings of Mohammed in an RE class) and also the Fatima movie being pulled from cinemas after Muslim protests.

Why do you think you’ve missed out on hearing about some of the big stories affecting Muslims in the UK (‘big’ as in shaping how non-Muslims might view them)? Is it that Muslims tend to keep to themselves/don’t mix (as some people say) - so avoid Western news/media etc? Or is it just that you’re a busy mum who doesn’t have time to sit down and watch the news?

Well, I don’t watch live TV, just have an hr or so of Netflix in the eve, im watching the Jeffrey dahmer thing rn so I’m into that and it’s not come through on Apple News and I’ve not heard anyone discuss it at work

OP posts:
Spectre8 · 28/02/2023 23:19

Lesschubtolove · 28/02/2023 23:14

Yes it’s contributed to it, but hasn’t caused it and that’s the purpose of terrorism, make Muslims feel more isolated and outcast which in turn leaves them more vulnerable to being radicalised.

muslim lifestyle is different than a western one, alcohol and pre marital sex being big no nos, being different visibly and behaviourally is a huge factor as to why Muslims are always viewed with a raised eyebrow. I think the questions on this thread prove that

Show quote history

And that is my point that you don't see Sikhism getting that much hatred.

And if your following Sikhism to the letter or a 'baptised' sikh it too doesn't believe in sex before marriage or drinking alcohol or even eating meat. So again similarities between the two yet one gets eyebrow raised at as you call it and one doesn't. And you have to wonder why that is.

Original poster
Lesschubtolove · 28/02/2023 23:22

Spectre8 · 28/02/2023 23:19

And that is my point that you don't see Sikhism getting that much hatred.

And if your following Sikhism to the letter or a 'baptised' sikh it too doesn't believe in sex before marriage or drinking alcohol or even eating meat. So again similarities between the two yet one gets eyebrow raised at as you call it and one doesn't. And you have to wonder why that is.

Show quote history

Do you want me to say, you’re right Muslims deserve to be targeted and hated? I don’t think I’m going to say that

OP posts:
Widowtoaworkaholic · 28/02/2023 23:23

I like the 2.5% of excess wealth being given to charity- proper charity not CEO's and admin fees but people who are in desperate need of basics. From what I understand it is only compulsory upon people who aren't in debt and have had their 'wealth and assets' for over a year. Is that right? If so, I can see how if everybody did this there would be nobody who goes without eventually.

What's the most difficult thing about living as a Muslim in the u.k?

Serrassi · 28/02/2023 23:23

Lesschubtolove · 28/02/2023 20:36

well 99.9% of sane Muslims roll their eyes and think oh islamaphobia again, it must be Tuesday…it’s deliberately provocative and annoying, and it’s done to get a reaction. Then the 0.1% that probably aren’t mentally well or are very ignorant and easily led get whipped into a frenzy and then the media seizes on it and the cycles goes on

personally I’ve never seen or heard of any cartoons mocking guru nanak or to the same extent Jesus, this antagonism is pretty much directed at Muslims

Show quote history

I’m guessing that you haven’t seen any of the Southpark episodes featuring the cartoon Jesus then…

Adrelaxzz · 28/02/2023 23:25

My DSs best mate is gay and Muslim. He hasn't told any family members, he has only told my son. Who confided in me aaas hee was worried for him as they are pretty strict. He is currently 15. What advice would you give him if you could?

Original poster
Lesschubtolove · 28/02/2023 23:26

Lesschubtolove · 28/02/2023 23:19

Well, I don’t watch live TV, just have an hr or so of Netflix in the eve, im watching the Jeffrey dahmer thing rn so I’m into that and it’s not come through on Apple News and I’ve not heard anyone discuss it at work

Show quote history

oh I had heard about that teacher, I assumed it was a recent thing but it’s from 2021 right?

im not sure why he needed to show the cartoons? He could’ve just referenced them if it was central to his lesson and the children would’ve known what he was on about. Being forced into hiding though is ludicrous. I’d probably have had a word with the school though on how appropriate it was, not demanded a pound of flesh

the Fatima movie I think would’ve been protested by Sunnis due to the fact it was made by a shia so their version of fatimas life would be different to a Sunni one and potentially loaded at Sunnis? I’ve heard a lot of allegations that Sunnis denigrate the house of the prophet (v sacred in shia Islam) so it will be frought with sectarianism

OP posts:
Original poster
Lesschubtolove · 28/02/2023 23:29

Widowtoaworkaholic · 28/02/2023 23:23

I like the 2.5% of excess wealth being given to charity- proper charity not CEO's and admin fees but people who are in desperate need of basics. From what I understand it is only compulsory upon people who aren't in debt and have had their 'wealth and assets' for over a year. Is that right? If so, I can see how if everybody did this there would be nobody who goes without eventually.

What's the most difficult thing about living as a Muslim in the u.k?

That’s correct that’s zakat for Muslims and the jizya for non Muslims.

Finding a good halal Chinese restaurant near me… that’s hard or wanting 5 guys . But seriously, work dos can be quite hard, a lot of alcohol and you can be viewed as antisocial for not joining in and stuff

OP posts:
Original poster
Lesschubtolove · 28/02/2023 23:31

Adrelaxzz · 28/02/2023 23:25

My DSs best mate is gay and Muslim. He hasn't told any family members, he has only told my son. Who confided in me aaas hee was worried for him as they are pretty strict. He is currently 15. What advice would you give him if you could?

Don’t come out living at home, I don’t know what his family are like so I’m going to give the most cautious advice possible . Don’t come out when he’s dependent on his parents. In fact if there is fear of violence don’t come out until you can be sure you’ll be safe

OP posts:
Original poster
Lesschubtolove · 28/02/2023 23:31

Serrassi · 28/02/2023 23:23

I’m guessing that you haven’t seen any of the Southpark episodes featuring the cartoon Jesus then…

Show quote history

No I always found South Park annoying

OP posts:
Sparklybutold · 28/02/2023 23:34

@Lesschubtolove she's British but from Pakistan. There's been a few ‘suitors’ but I sense a real pressure from some of her family members,for her to ‘just do it’ and to ‘just settle’. There is abuse. Her mum too. I have spent many hours listening to her. I have sent various culturally competent therapists and charities her way so she can go to them if she chooses. I have also given her my address so she has somewhere to go if need be.

Jux · 28/02/2023 23:40

Thank you for responding re sunni/shia. Does that mean that sunni are, well, more laid back than shia? I was brought up Catholic and attended a Catholic girls' private school, where we were taught, rather surprisingly way back then (I'm over 60) to be respectful of all religions, kind and forgiving - those people could still be visited by the Holy Spirit and receive his Grace and brought to the Light of God, i.e. not their fault they didn't believe as we did, they still have hope of Salvation and God's Forgiveness, so no one should judge anyone because of their religious beliefs etc. It was rather advanced I think back then, and I was therefore lucky.

Anyway, I found that in terms of the expectation of religious observance, that CofE seemed rather more lax than 'we' were. No confession or penance, but the main difference is I think no transubstantiation - that's a real biggie, and means that a Catholic can take Communion in a protestant church, but a protestant can't in a Catholic church.

Are there any seriously big differences in observances between sunni and shia like that, I wonder.

Namechanger355 · 28/02/2023 23:47

Really informative thread OP - thanks

  1. do you feel like others require you to openly condemn terrorist attacks carried out in the name of Islam? How do you feel about that so-called responsibility?
  2. have you been offended by the/any questions in this thread?

thanks for answering these questions so honestly

Sarahcoggles · 28/02/2023 23:54

On a few occasions during the heatwave last year I saw Muslim couples out shopping etc. Each time the woman was wrapped head to toe in black, head and face largely covered, absolutely sweltering. Meanwhile the man was wearing shorts and a vest top. I would find it very hard to deal with something that felt so unfair - having to dress in a way that made me feel really uncomfortable just because I was a woman. Do you ever feel like that?

DarkNecessities · 01/03/2023 00:17

Lesschubtolove · 28/02/2023 23:31

Don’t come out living at home, I don’t know what his family are like so I’m going to give the most cautious advice possible . Don’t come out when he’s dependent on his parents. In fact if there is fear of violence don’t come out until you can be sure you’ll be safe

Show quote history

This is so sad but the answer I feared.

Ponderingwindow · 01/03/2023 00:28

Ponderingwindow · 28/02/2023 20:38

This is a question I have for all people of faith. If your older, but still minor child wants to reject the religion entirely or at least some aspects, do you support their right to do so?

In particular, would you support a daughter who chooses not to wear hajib? What about children who want to explore other religions or simply declare they lack faith all together?

@Lesschubtolove
this one got missed. Any chance of an answer?

Glitteratitar · 01/03/2023 00:32

Spectre8 · 28/02/2023 23:19

And that is my point that you don't see Sikhism getting that much hatred.

And if your following Sikhism to the letter or a 'baptised' sikh it too doesn't believe in sex before marriage or drinking alcohol or even eating meat. So again similarities between the two yet one gets eyebrow raised at as you call it and one doesn't. And you have to wonder why that is.

Show quote history

Have you seriously missed the honour killings carried out by Sikhs in and from the Uk? Surjit Kaye for example? Or forced marriages? The founder of Karma Nirvana is a Sikh.

There’s also the Sikh arm of Britain First or EDL or whoever it was (which I never understood).

I don’t want to make it seem like I’m bashing Sikhs as that’s not my intention, but it’s wrong to say there is no hate.

The point is it’s not the religion that’s the problem. The majority of religions have the same core beliefs - it’s people and cultural practices that ruin it. And it’s really important that we separate the two.

Bepis · 01/03/2023 00:47

Interesting thread OP. Thank you for answering so honestly.

What are Muslims views on eating blood or having blood transfusions?

Spectre8 · 01/03/2023 01:15

Glitteratitar · 01/03/2023 00:32

Have you seriously missed the honour killings carried out by Sikhs in and from the Uk? Surjit Kaye for example? Or forced marriages? The founder of Karma Nirvana is a Sikh.

There’s also the Sikh arm of Britain First or EDL or whoever it was (which I never understood).

I don’t want to make it seem like I’m bashing Sikhs as that’s not my intention, but it’s wrong to say there is no hate.

The point is it’s not the religion that’s the problem. The majority of religions have the same core beliefs - it’s people and cultural practices that ruin it. And it’s really important that we separate the two.

Show quote history

Yes I haven't heard of any of it. Maybe its not in main news streams and that's why. I dont use Facebook or twitter.

imlateasusual · 01/03/2023 04:26

Re the school issue, I think it's mostly the West and in particular the UK that has an obsession with integration/assimilation. The idea that in order to be civilised you need to adhere to "our" values. We moved to Jordan for 3 years which has a 3-5% Christian minority. When the dc joined the school I went to explain that they wouldn't be doing RE (which was obviously Islamic RE) and the headteacher literally laughed and said "of course not, you're not Muslim!" There was zero expectation that the dc would take part in any religious practice/worship and alternative provision was always made. There was the option of Christian RE taught by a Christian.
Although on the surface Muslims/Christians rub along well, I found the Christians to be quite insular. They had their own areas, own schools, Christian only neighbourhoods where they would only sell to another Christian. They were very against their dc marrying a Muslim and there are 'honour' killings for such Muslims did not seem bothered by any of this, it was accepted that they had their own way of life and were free to practise it.
I really had my eyes open.

Papergirl1968 · 01/03/2023 06:21

What is your personal view on Shamina Begum losing her appeal - was she groomed, has paid the price and deserves to be allowed to return to the UK?
Thank you for a very interesting thread.

1415isgreat · 01/03/2023 07:16

Papergirl1968 · 01/03/2023 06:21

What is your personal view on Shamina Begum losing her appeal - was she groomed, has paid the price and deserves to be allowed to return to the UK?
Thank you for a very interesting thread.

Definitely groomed! Just like the 15yo schoolgirls in Rochdale some years back.

Apart from the religious differences/skin colour, what is the difference in 15yo Shamima and the 15 yo schoolgirls in the criminal ring? Both young, vulnerable and made wrong choices yet one was a absolutely wrong and the others were victims.

They were raped, fell pregnant etc and so was Shamima……

When it first happened I felt so annoyed and of course still do, but as I got older and have worked with young 15 years old I just think at the end of the day, she was 15. She was still a child.

DarkNecessities · 01/03/2023 08:27

I’m confused as to who is answering the questions here. It’s AMA

Original poster
Lesschubtolove · 01/03/2023 09:03

DarkNecessities · 01/03/2023 00:17

This is so sad but the answer I feared.

Show quote history

So this is obviously hugely dependent on his family, so if it were me, my child could come out and there would be no consequences (disappointment maybe but not consequence) so I’ve given my answer based on the worst case scenario in case his parents are very strict and react badly.

not coming out at home in case he is thrown out, so he has somewhere to live, not when he’s dependent on them in case he is cut off and obviously if there is even a hint that they might react violently to make sure he’s safe. I’m not saying that these are normal responses or anything but as I don’t know him or his family, I’m going worst case scenario

OP posts:
Original poster
Lesschubtolove · 01/03/2023 09:20

Jux · 28/02/2023 23:40

Thank you for responding re sunni/shia. Does that mean that sunni are, well, more laid back than shia? I was brought up Catholic and attended a Catholic girls' private school, where we were taught, rather surprisingly way back then (I'm over 60) to be respectful of all religions, kind and forgiving - those people could still be visited by the Holy Spirit and receive his Grace and brought to the Light of God, i.e. not their fault they didn't believe as we did, they still have hope of Salvation and God's Forgiveness, so no one should judge anyone because of their religious beliefs etc. It was rather advanced I think back then, and I was therefore lucky.

Anyway, I found that in terms of the expectation of religious observance, that CofE seemed rather more lax than 'we' were. No confession or penance, but the main difference is I think no transubstantiation - that's a real biggie, and means that a Catholic can take Communion in a protestant church, but a protestant can't in a Catholic church.

Are there any seriously big differences in observances between sunni and shia like that, I wonder.

No they aren’t more laid back but I think we should also remember how Protestantism came about, it’s roots and how strict it was at times , ie puritans, it’s not just Church of England which is quite laid back.

big differences are in the shahada shia have one that says I bear witness that this is no god but Allah and Muhammad is his messenger and that Ali is is friend. Sunni don’t have the ali part. Shia also have the 12 imams that I think are thought to be rightfully guided after Ali, sunni doesn’t have that. There are different hadith also, small differences in prayer (think shia combine 2 to offer 3 prayers a day) but the biggest difference is re the first caliph and the ahul bayt. Sunni Islam is quite ardent against innovation so largely place shia in the innovator category

OP posts: