I have a lifelong mood disorder, AMA

[ScruffMuffin]

Hopefully I won't live to regret this! 🙂
Feeling brave tonight, and trying to gain a better understanding of it myself. Ask away (although I'm going to bed in the next hour, so might not be all that quick).

Do you work?

Thanks for explaining. A bit of mindfulness as your only available talking therapy sounds just shit.

Yes, I have a fairly niche low-responsibilit job in an educational setting. Zero hours contract. I am also self employed so work for myself a bit too. In a good year I earn about 18k, which does make me feel inadequate with my two degrees and a diploma... I see others climbing the career ladder and know there's no prospect of career progression for me. I have a decent brain but simply cannot work full time. I try to channel it into other things, e.g. learning a language, learning instruments, writing, volunteering, charity fundraising.

I forgot to answer the second part of this.

Until my 30s, my moods would change every few months. The bad episodes lasted 4-6 months, but usually closer to 4. The bits in between could be weeks, months or years, and I would be absolutely fine at those times. I have asthma as well and it was a lot like that... flares with good health and maintenance therapy in between.

However, somewhere around 39/40, the pattern changed quite a bit, and I'd slip in and out of depressive episodes. Sometimes the medication cuts them off after 2-4 weeks, which is amazing when it happens. More often, I have good, normal and depressive moods and thoughts during the same day. I feel worse in the evenings, which is an atypical presentation.

The people that know about it often ask whether I'm bipolar. I can fully understand why, because I can be lively, silly, giggly, busy (in the context of being an introvert +++) and I never, ever switch off. I'm not bipolar though. I've never had a manic episode, or delusions, or behaved recklessly. I just have a silly personality!

I know this is an old thread but could you tell me what dosage of venlafaxine do you take

225 these days. Have been on a lot more. I'm on another AD as well.

@ScruffMuffin thank you