I'm an identical twin and I have identical twins, AMA

[Sunnidaze]

Exactly that really. I don't know, maybe it's not very exciting, but AMA if you're interested.

Does your twin have children?

Have you always been able to tell your twins apart from day one?
The usual..did you and your sister ever pretend to be each other?
Have you and your twin led similar lives - education attainment, jobs, relationships?

What do you know to do/not do with your twins that a non-twin might not think of?

I do think it’s interesting as I don’t know any identical twins with identical twins!

The obvious question is do you look identical to your twin and do your twins look identical? I watched the Bros documentary on Netflix last night and they are identical twins but I think they look quite different and I always assumed they were brothers close in age not twins.

Yes, three but none are multiples.

Were you competitive with each other? Was one more popular?

What do you know to do/not do with your twins that a non-twin might not think of?

+1 for this!

Do you do photoshoots with your twin and all your children? I’m around twins a lot and I still find them fascinating.

Do people mistake you for your sibling, as adults?

I've always been able to tell my twins apart, but DH often put them in the wrong bassinet after middle of the night feeds. He would put whichever of the twins who finished feeding first back to bed, I picked up the error when put the other one to bed so I would fix it up. We often laugh about that!
My sister and I did swap places when we were at school, but it was because our school friends wanted us to. It was way funnier for them than it was for us.
We've had very similar lives - we went to Uni together and worked for the same organisation several times. We work in different areas now. But we're very close.

What are the downsides to being a twin? Are there any twin related “mistakes” your parents made that you will try and avoid?

My twins have a very similar relationship to my sister and I, so I do things similarly to the way we were raised. I know other parents of multiples who do things very differently (completely separate birthday parties, actively separating them at school etc), but however parents do things it's what normal for their kids. I think as long as you make decisions in the best interests of the children, rather than what you think you should be doing, then you're probably making the right decision. One thing I'm really passionate about is not separating twins at school unless there is a good educational reason to do so. But that's a long story for another thread!

My sister and I are very similar, but I think we look less alike the older we get. My twins are very similar, I can mix them up for a second at times if I don't look properly. Our children are very similar looking as well.

Did you ever feel that people treated you as one person rather than 2 individuals? If that makes sense?

Same level of popularity I think. We were gently competitive, but it was very positive and just spurred us on to do our best. We're very supportive of each other, always have been and always will be.

We don't really do photo shoots, but we do like taking photos of all of our children (much to their chagrin!) as we adore the lot of them. We have very different hairstyles these days, so people don't mistake us for one another, but they still stop short when they see the two of us together for the first time. We also sound identical when we speak, so that's scary for some people (my sister used to teach an exercise class in my local area, and people were always double taking when they heard her talk because she looked oddly familiar and sounded incredibly familiar!).

Absolutely no downsides at all, I honestly can't think of anything negative. I think the greatest gift you can give a child is a twin/triplet etc sibling. Our parents always treated us as individuals, but nurtured our relationship. When I found out I was having twins I was overwhelmed with joy and my sister was equally thrilled. It's the best thing ever (even if my twins don't always think that!).

Probably, but it never really bothered us. The benefits of being a twin far outweigh any negatives (not that I think there are really any negatives).

Your last two messages have made me weep a bit OP.
Mum to 6m identical girls and I'm really struggling with feeling like it's impossible to meet their needs. I had a singleton before and loved being able to bf/sling/co-sleep and be utterly responsive to her needs 24 hours. I do my very best with the twins but sometimes it's just plain impossible to be able to comfort both as well or as quickly as I'd like because the other one needs me at the same time.

As I said above, I don't really think there is a right or wrong way to raise twins. However one set of parents does it is what is normal for that family. I have friends who have never told their twins while was born first, which I find odd as my sister and I have always known and my twins know. Other friends have separate birthday parties, sing happy birthday twice, mix up who has happy birthday sung first etc. There's no right or wrong way generally.

One thing I do have a strong opinion about is when people insist on 'un-twining twins'. Ie going out of their way to make them individuals. Twins are individuals from the moment they are born; they react differently to their environment, they have different interactions with the people in their environment, they develop their own likes and dislikes. They choose that and no one should force it on them. If twins like being together, they should be allowed to be together, and that includes as school - as long as there is no good educationally based reason to separate them (ie they are competitive and it's having a negative effect, they are disruptive, one feels they need to care for the other etc). Equally, if twins want to be apart, that should be supported as well. The key is that they should be allowed to decide, over time, and no one should force 'un-twining' on them. Having a twin sibling is a precious gift, no one should take that away. Right, I'll get off my soap box now!

I have identical boys and I love their relationship. They have a triplet sister. They're incredibly close. The boys share a flat and friends, and their sister now lives close by.

Hugs to you! Having twins is hard. I had mine first, so I didn't know any different and I still had energy! Take things one day at a time. Things get so much easier from 12 months onwards, but even now you'll look back over the last few months and see that things have become just that little bit easier. My twins have very similar interests, so we have achieved lots of economies of scale over the years (one trip to soccer practice, one game to watch etc). It takes time to realise those economies, but you'll get there. Even just having them interact and entertain each other is both divine and efficient!

So precious, there's nothing in the world quite like multiples ❤️

My friend was an identical twin
Her mother and aunty were the 3rd born children and were identical twins
They each had 3 pregnancies with the last for each being identical twins.

Do you have twin boys or girls? There's something magical about twins ❤️

That's so cool! Technically there is no known genetic link for identical twinning. Fraternal twins 'run in the family' (ie there is a genetic propensity to hyperovulate which is passed down in the family), but identical twins occur randomly. I think identical twinning occurs in around 1 in every 250 live births, so at some point an identical twin is going to have identical twins. Pretty cool for both ID twins to have ID twins though!