I have 10 siblings AMA

[Deliverooaddict]

If you’ve ever wondered about larger families…

[typeb]

Are they all full siblings? The only people I know with this many siblings there are multiple blended families in the mix.

[Deliverooaddict]

@typeb 4 full
5 half siblings on my mums side (older and younger)
1 half sibling on my dads side (younger)

[Deliverooaddict]

However there was 9 of us at home at one point, my parents were married for a long time and my dad took on the older kids.

[Blackopal]

Do you get on with your siblings?

Do you feel there was time and attention enough from your parents for everyone to get needs met?

[dormouses]

Did you feel you got enough of your parents time, attention and affection growing up?

What were the best and worst parts of being a large family?

Do/would you have a large number of children yourself?

[Deliverooaddict]

@Blackopal we’ve never been close, always fight a lot but we have family meet ups etc. the younger ones still live at home so I see them when I visit

@dormouses I was really neglected and I went through some childhood trauma. Clothes always dirty, hungry, riddled with nits. Never got any affection. Best part was that when I was a teenager I could go out and no one would even notice. Worst part was getting bullied for having a big family. I have 1 child and don’t plan on having anymore.

[CloudPop]

@Deliverooaddict

@Blackopal we’ve never been close, always fight a lot but we have family meet ups etc. the younger ones still live at home so I see them when I visit

@dormouses I was really neglected and I went through some childhood trauma. Clothes always dirty, hungry, riddled with nits. Never got any affection. Best part was that when I was a teenager I could go out and no one would even notice. Worst part was getting bullied for having a big family. I have 1 child and don’t plan on having anymore.

Sorry hear OP. That sounds awful. I hope you've managed to find some space in your life now.

[FuckThisForAGameOfNotSoldiers]

That sounds crap. Sorry OP xx

[typeb]

Sorry to hear this, OP. I'm glad you have a space to discuss this I think it's important to be able to discuss unusual family setups.

Everytime I post about growing up with parents who were swingers people report my posts and I end up getting banned as a PBP (for posting about my upbringing that other people find so unbelievable) I hope people on this thread don't do the same to you and enable you space to broaden other people's horizons around what family life can actually be like.

[Blackopal]

Yes, I am from a large family too and the relationships are strained.
That's what made me wonder about yours.
I'm sorry that you experience was not better.

[Ineedtoletgo83]

Why did your mother have so many children? Of course bar the one sibling on your dad’s side.

[Deliverooaddict]

@Ineedtoletgo83 my mum had 10, my dad had 6. I’m not sure why she had so many, she just kept wanting one more. She had 7 before she turned 30 (which is when she had me) and I was the youngest for 6 years

[Ineedtoletgo83]

OP my mum is one of 7 and her and her eldest were most definitely neglected. Mum said to me once that she didn’t know how to show me love as she was never shown love. She doesn’t talk about it a lot but she said her clothes were rags. From a young age like 6-7 she had to do housework /take care of the other children. Very basic food for her. She was often left for hours on her own with the little ones. Eventually one sister was adopted. Mum left home at 16.

[Deliverooaddict]

@Ineedtoletgo83 sounds a lot like me. I left home at 16 too. My parents never hugged me or told me they love me. We had very basic food always frozen. A lot of this has caused me issues in my life such as binge eating, unhealthy relationships. Having a phone from a young age that wasn’t monitored either… I was groomed online and sexually abused

[Beachdays44]

I have ten full siblings too... We didn't get much individual attention. None of us ever did any after school activities. The house was always dirty. Massive pile of laundry always in one corner.. I remember often putting on damp clothes in the morning as it was hard to dry anything.

Today I would say relationships are very strained. No one of the 11 gets on with all of the other 10!

I have 3 kids and that is plenty.

[MistyBean]

I always wonder about the motivation for so many children, as clearly a very large family cannot have the children's best interests front and centre. Any idea why they wanted so many children? Was it for attention?

[Namenic]

How many kids were there in a bedroom? Did both your parents work?

[Deliverooaddict]

@Namenic we had 7 bedrooms at one point. But it mostly varied, when my parents split up and I got stepsiblings there were 6 of us in one room at my dads house before. At my mums I had my own room.
my dad worked, my mum was a stay at home mum.

@MistyBean I don’t think it was ever planned they just kept having one more then another.

[TroysMammy]

What is the age range?

My Dad was one of 12, he was the last but one and when his last sibling was born his oldest sibling was about 22. As a result the next generation are now aged between 52 and 76.

[Deliverooaddict]

@TroysMammy What is the age range?

so at the moment, my oldest sibling is 36. The youngest is 13. My parents are early 50s. I’m in the middle.

[Babyroobs]

I never understand why people just keep having kids when they can't look after the ones they've got. It's just like an addiction.

[Namenic]

Thanks for answering! previous Generations of my family had lots of kids - but I suspect it was due to lack of contraception. 7 bedrooms is a lot - did your parents own the house?

Do you get on with any of your siblings? I come from a larger-than normal family with 5 kids - I feel I am close to them.

[Nofreshstarthere22]

I’m sorry you had such a rough time. Hows your relationship with your parents now? Are the teenagers/young people at home looked after properly now?

[Loachworks]

Do you think you parents would have been any better if there were only a couple of children? I'm one of 8 (one died aged 19) but my experience isn't anything like yours. I will say our parents as farmer's with two homes were time poor and my eldest sister did a lot of my parenting but that created a great bond between us. She lives down South (I'm a Northerner) but we text daily, I have her adult (only child) son over for dinner every week and she visits around every six weeks.
We aren't a demonstrative family but never argue and if I ask they will all do anything for me. Our parents are dead but we are still close and regularly all get together. There's always a celebration somewhere.
Apart from one brother and myself (who have 3DC) the others had only children.

[Loachworks]

Mine are all full siblings with a twenty year gap from youngest to oldest and my parents were married for fifty years until my father's death.