My current partner was a drug dealer back in the day. Clean 7 yrs

[thelate80srocked]

My current partner used to sell drugs. Made a lot of money. This was back in the late 80s and early 90s. He was also a cocaine addict for 20odd years, still had a lucrative career. I've known him since those days but we only became a couple a couple of years ago. He's 9yrs clean - doesn't even drink now.

I trust that he is very proud of himself and his contribution to society 🙄

Well done, what was the moment he decided to get clean. And stop dealing

Mine too! I hope we’re not dating the same man

How often does he think about the children affected by his dealing?

Was he ever caught? If so, what happened?

What happened to the money he made?

Well done to him. I hope he is able to somehow make up for his wrongdoing.

7 or 9?

Has he expressed any remorse for his part in the drugs trade?

Has he given any of the money away to organisations that try to address the damage of drugs?

Hi all
He's 9yrs clean.
He very much regrets his involvement in the 'business' which he got into as a teen after a horrible, abusive childhood. When he realised he was sick of the lifestyle and its effect on people, he decided to stop, his partner at the time helped him. In order to get clean himself, he moved out of London to the countryside, deleted and blocked a lot of contacts, got a dog and started a new, healthy, legitimate life. He didn't go to rehab, went cold turkey.
He made a lot of money early 90s but also spent a lot on the lifestyle.
Ended up with enough to set up a decent business which he still works in and still has his place on London which gives him a rental income.
He thinks about the bigger effect of dealing cocaine but, I think, when you are higher up the chain, you don't see the damage done on the streets, to the teens etc. You get sucked into the lifestyle, mixing with celebrities and very wealthy people, basically sleeping most of the day because you're partying all night! He doesn't go out at all of an evening now, unless we have a family function to which he'll always drive.
He never had children as, by his own admission, was too busy having fun. but I have a son of 17 and a 21yr old daughter neither of whom do drugs, smoke or drink to excess (I would know, as would their dad).

He does a lot for various charities now and rarely sees any of his old friends apart from the ones who have also turned their lives around.
I've known him decades through the club scene but we only got together last year. We went to a mutual friends 50th a few weeks ago in central London and left before dark, as people our age, were obviously doing 'gear' (and offering it). So time does us to leave.
Its use is rife, I think more so for my generation than my kids', thankfully as they prefer to drive when they go out, are health conscious and you can't get into places without ID whereas we were clubbing in the West End at 16!
I'm glad things have changed.

No he was never caught. He had a lot of people working with him and for him. It's very organised. The only people I know who have been caught and arrested are those who were reported to the police by associates who had been caught.

He had a driver so never even got caught drink/drug driving. I've no idea where the drugs were stored, I don't want to know. He now drives a 16yr old non-decript little car and is happy with that.
Yes, he donates regularly to charities including Action for Addiction.

At what point did his decision to get clean go from theoretical, to action? Has he ever had any relapses?
If his use of drugs was ever to self medicate, how did he deal with the issues resurfacing once the drugs were gone?

I wasn't with him when he was addicted but, from what he's told me, he realised that his use had got out of control and it was no more fun but more like being in a prison. It took approx a year, with several lapses, to finally get clean. As previously said, he moved away, blocked a lot of people from his life, got a rescue dog (who he still says saved his life and is his best friend). No lapses in 9yrs but he still refers to himself as an addict and knows he can never recreationally take it again. Hence never putting himself in a vulnerable situation.

Re his childhood. He moved out of his mum's (alcoholic) and hasn't spoken to her in nearly 40yrs and doesn't intend to (her partner beat him up regularly and he was eventually hospitalised) She never made an attempt to get in touch with him. His dad left the home when he was 6 but got in touch about 15yrs ago. They are now in touch but not regularly.
Hes never had any therapy but is very open about his past, realises hoe his childhood affected his life choices and is a well balanced, loving, kind, generous person.

Seems like he had a great time pretty much, glamorous and safe, and it set him up nicely for the rest of his life.