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AMA
Original poster

11 year heroin and crack addict. Clean 16 yeasr

105 replies

CrimeJunkie01 · 25/08/2021 00:38

AMA

OP posts:
BalladOfBarryAndFreda · 25/08/2021 16:33

I have no questions. Congratulations on kicking it, that’s no mean feat.

IndecentCakes · 25/08/2021 16:33

How did you cope with raising a child for those four years?

Flowers
Original poster
CrimeJunkie01 · 25/08/2021 16:34

@BalladOfBarryAndFreda

I have no questions. Congratulations on kicking it, that’s no mean feat.
Thank you. Feels like a lifetime ago now to be fair.
OP posts:
tenredthings · 25/08/2021 16:34

I know someone who is on a script from their dr to reduce and come of opiates but their girlfriend injects morphine. Do you think it's realistic that they will be able to stop their addiction whilst living with someone who's an addict ?

Original poster
CrimeJunkie01 · 25/08/2021 16:37

@IndecentCakes

How did you cope with raising a child for those four years?

Flowers

Very badly. I was in a very abusive relationship that ended with him trying to kill me. In retrospect I'm amazed that social services didn't take DS from me, but they always said that I was a good mum. I wasn't, I cared passionately for him but I look back now in terror at some of the situations I was in with him in toe.
OP posts:
IndecentCakes · 25/08/2021 16:38

I'm glad you escaped.

Original poster
CrimeJunkie01 · 25/08/2021 16:39

@tenredthings

I know someone who is on a script from their dr to reduce and come of opiates but their girlfriend injects morphine. Do you think it's realistic that they will be able to stop their addiction whilst living with someone who's an addict ?
I think if it is prescribed morphine to mange her addiction it could be possible, but to be honest I'd say it would be difficult. Those that I know that still use morphine just don't seem to get past the addict mentality. Plus it would be difficult to watch someone else getting out of it and you not.
OP posts:
Original poster
CrimeJunkie01 · 25/08/2021 16:40

@IndecentCakes

I'm glad you escaped.
Thank you. So am I. My life is so much better now, I have a great job and beautiful children. I'm still a bit of a mess from the trauma of all those years but I'm alive and those experiences make me the person I am today, and I don't think I'm that bad.
OP posts:
PleasantBirthday · 25/08/2021 16:42

This is such a trivial question but I've always been curious. Most people don't want to inject themselves. How do you overcome that barrier? (not looking for tips, btw, just something I've often wondered...

ButterflyAway · 25/08/2021 16:43

Was the social services removing your baby the reason you went back to heroin the day after he was born?

Original poster
CrimeJunkie01 · 25/08/2021 16:46

@PleasantBirthday

This is such a trivial question but I've always been curious. Most people don't want to inject themselves. How do you overcome that barrier? (not looking for tips, btw, just something I've often wondered...
For me, it came out of desperation to be honest. My partner and his brothers got arrested with all the drugs on them and us girlfriends managed to scrape together £10 to buy some heroin, but £10 smoked on foil between 3 of us wouldn't have stopped us all withdrawing, so I suggested that we injected it. None of us had injected before but we had no other choice, our partners all injected though. I cooked it up and we split it and were all too scared to do it. Eventually I shut my eyes and pushed it into the vein. It's really difficult to inject yourself at first, so it was a bit clumsy but somehow it worked and I got it in. After that I went back to smoking it, until I was next skint.
OP posts:
PleasantBirthday · 25/08/2021 16:48

Thanks for the answer!

Original poster
CrimeJunkie01 · 25/08/2021 16:49

@ButterflyAway

Was the social services removing your baby the reason you went back to heroin the day after he was born?
No, he was never removed from my care except when I went to prison and my parents took him in.

It was an unplanned pregnancy but i had stopped using heroin the day I found out I was pregnant and went onto methadone, but it was almost like I was incubating him, as soon as he was born I felt I could use again. I think looking back, I had stopped using to keep the baby safe but couldn't love myself enough to not use for me.

OP posts:
Original poster
CrimeJunkie01 · 25/08/2021 16:51

@ButterflyAway I reported myself to SS as soon as I knew I was pregnant they told me that u seemed very sensible and they had no concerns. They were only ever involved due to my abusive partner and the risk of harm from him.

OP posts:
ButYouGottaHaveASkillJeff · 25/08/2021 16:53

Did your baby go through methadone withdrawal?

I know this is a weird question but do you ever miss it?

SunnyBobstar · 25/08/2021 17:06

Was there anything that support services/law enforcement could have done to stop your drug use? If you could put something in place to help people, what would be the most successful thing you would suggest?

Monestera · 25/08/2021 17:22

How is your relationship with that son now? Has he ever discussed his experiences?

PerseverancePays · 25/08/2021 17:26

Well done for beating it, amazing achievement.

ButterflyAway · 25/08/2021 18:04

So the social services didn’t intervene or remove your child, who would have been born dependent and in need of heavy medical care? The midwives, antenatal unit, health visitors didn’t intervene to protect or help your child in any way?

Original poster
CrimeJunkie01 · 25/08/2021 18:30

@ButYouGottaHaveASkillJeff

Did your baby go through methadone withdrawal?

I know this is a weird question but do you ever miss it?

No, I reduced to a tiny amount of methadone before he was born so that he wouldn't.

I never miss it really, some times I'd miss the adrenaline rush of being on the wrong side of the law when I first got clean. Nowadays that would terrify me.

OP posts:
Original poster
CrimeJunkie01 · 25/08/2021 18:34

@SunnyBobstar

Was there anything that support services/law enforcement could have done to stop your drug use? If you could put something in place to help people, what would be the most successful thing you would suggest?
I genuinely don't know. Some times I think that if I'd gone to prison earlier it might have helped, but I'm not sure. I have over 30 convictions and it took until then before I went to prison. I often wonder why they would let me off with a fine, when I clearly couldn't pay it and would then get arrested for not paying it and end up back in court. The one thing that really helped ultimately was being made to attend a drug rehab daily for 12 months. I wish more people got that structure in their lives to help.
OP posts:
Original poster
CrimeJunkie01 · 25/08/2021 18:36

@ButterflyAway

So the social services didn’t intervene or remove your child, who would have been born dependent and in need of heavy medical care? The midwives, antenatal unit, health visitors didn’t intervene to protect or help your child in any way?
They did an assessment and were happy that I was attending drug services and not using. I had a social worker that I saw 3 times in my pregnancy. I was under the specialist midwifery team who handled all substance miauibf mums. My son was born 10 weeks early and so was in intensive care. They monitored my parenting whilst I was there but then really, I hardly saw them until my ex beat me up and he got put on the child protection register due to potential physical harm from his dad. In my opinion SS failed me totally.
OP posts:
Original poster
CrimeJunkie01 · 25/08/2021 18:37

Because I was able to speak well etc, I slipped under their radar. I knew when to comply and I manipulated the system massively.

OP posts:
Original poster
CrimeJunkie01 · 25/08/2021 18:38

@Monestera

How is your relationship with that son now? Has he ever discussed his experiences?
He doesn't really remember it at all, but he knows about it. My work is very much related to it.
OP posts:
Purplewishes · 25/08/2021 18:43

I have no questions really but just that I find this thread really interesting. Thank you for sharing for experience