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AMA
Original poster

My best friend gave me a kidney

16 replies

AskmeAnythingKidney · 15/08/2021 10:56

Yes, I know this sounds like a headline from 'Take A Break'!

I've been on Mumsnet for years and thought about doing one of these but didn't think there'd be the appetite for it (still may not be). But I've seen more and more threads on kidney health and transplant etc so thought I'd do one

I'm in my 40s, two kids and am here today as my best friend donated one of her kidneys to me. Ask me anything.

OP posts:
AlexaShutUp · 15/08/2021 10:57

No questions, but your friend sounds pretty fabulous and I'm so glad that she was there for you. Flowers

HeReWeGoAgAiN1112 · 15/08/2021 10:58

Why did you need a kidney?

Original poster
AskmeAnythingKidney · 15/08/2021 10:59

@AlexaShutUp

No questions, but your friend sounds pretty fabulous and I'm so glad that she was there for you. Flowers
She is my absolute hero!
OP posts:
Original poster
AskmeAnythingKidney · 15/08/2021 11:02

@HeReWeGoAgAiN1112

Why did you need a kidney?
I was diagnosed with kidney disease after a company medical showed high blood pressure in my 30s.

Investigations showed my kidneys were badly damaged and at that stage beyond recovery. They've never been able to identify why and apparently that's not uncommon.

Kidney disease is known as the silent killer as there is rarely an indication someone is unwell until their kidneys are not functioning at all.

Blood pressure is the easiest signifier of something being wrong so I always tell people to check their BP if feeling unwell as you just never know!

OP posts:
pleasestopscreaming · 15/08/2021 11:13

How is your friend and her health now?

Original poster
AskmeAnythingKidney · 15/08/2021 11:20

@pleasestopscreaming

How is your friend and her health now?
She is back to full health now and gets annual check ups with a full MOT as part of her role as 'donee'

But it did take around 6 months for her to fully adjust (which she was expecting)

It's usual for the person getting the kidney to recovery quite quickly as their body suddenly has this extra organ to help where it had been struggling. Whereas the one losing the kidney has to adjust to their body working with only 1 so there is a period of tiredness and taking it easy

All done on NHS I might add

OP posts:
TwinkleTwinkle11 · 15/08/2021 11:21

Wow this is amazing!

How long was the process from your friend finding out she's a match to it happening?

Mookie81 · 15/08/2021 12:19

Did you have any lower back pain? Confused

EileenGC · 15/08/2021 12:22

This is really interesting OP.

May I ask, did your friend have any specific concerns before donating and do you know how the doctors put her mind at ease about them?

Did she have to take a longer time off work or was it just general tiredness and post-op effects she experienced?

FizzyPink · 15/08/2021 12:24

How did it come about for her to even check she was a match? Did she know you needed a kidney and outright offered one of hers?

Original poster
AskmeAnythingKidney · 15/08/2021 12:28

@TwinkleTwinkle11

Wow this is amazing!

How long was the process from your friend finding out she's a match to it happening?

We were quite lucky and I'm told our timeframe was unusually fast.

She started tests in May, we were told she was a match in August and we had the transplant in October.

Again, very fast but I think my hospital is known for being good in renal care so is above national average

OP posts:
Original poster
AskmeAnythingKidney · 15/08/2021 12:30

@Mookie81

Did you have any lower back pain? Confused
No, no pain at all. It was a complete shock to me.

Kidney failure USUALLY happens slowly over time and isn't 'acute'. Lower back pain may mean a kidney infection but isn't necessarily indicative of kidney failure

And of course, lower back pain can be a million other things too! Hope you're ok!

OP posts:
Original poster
AskmeAnythingKidney · 15/08/2021 12:32

@EileenGC

This is really interesting OP.

May I ask, did your friend have any specific concerns before donating and do you know how the doctors put her mind at ease about them?

Did she have to take a longer time off work or was it just general tiredness and post-op effects she experienced?

I'm not sure about her concerns. To be honest, I refrained from asking her very much at all about her process and what questions she had. I didn't want her to feel pressured by me, nor did I want to delve into her concerns as she doesn't owe me any justification if she wanted to pull out etc.

I know that they offer donees counselling beforehand and do ensure there is no coercion and that they feel entirely comfortable. If they don't, they will often tell the potential transplant patient that they weren't a match rather than the other person has pulled out.

OP posts:
Original poster
AskmeAnythingKidney · 15/08/2021 12:34

Did she have to take a longer time off work or was it just general tiredness and post-op effects she experienced?

I had 3 months off and she had 6 weeks. Hers was keyhole and I had 18 stitches and was a longer procedure.

So for her, it was more getting used to feeling a little more tired. But she says her body settled into it fully after about 6 months

OP posts:
EileenGC · 15/08/2021 12:50

Thank you for your responses, it’s interesting to hear first hand about this. I’m glad you both are now in (relatively at least, I assume) good health!

Tracymumofthree · 28/07/2023 13:35

Hi there, I'm a journalist and I'm looking to interview somebody who received an altruistic organ donation from a friend, for one of the women's magazines, to raise awareness. Might you be interested in taking part? If so please get back to me.

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