Currently residing in a refuge AMA

[refugemum]

3rd week here.with my dc

Never in a million years thought I'd ever be in this position.

AMA

[refugemum]

Dc understands why.

Which makes me so sad.

[Alternista]

Please be careful about how much detail you give re your location.

Wishing you every happiness for the future

[PineappleWilson]

What support can they offer your children, to help them process and heal now they're away from that environment? How have your DC adapted to their new set up? We had periods in a refuge and with family when I was a child but there was bugger all support for us.

[refugemum]

Thank you

It's a secret location

[Flak]

I feel dreadful guilt for not leaving years ago

Maybe leave that one for the time being and just take it hour by hour, when you are settled you could speak to someone about the guilt & help you process why you couldnt leave. There will be tons of reasons,

What matters now, is now. You have left now, & you are making life better now, and every other day forward

[refugemum]

Pineapple

Awful to hear you had no support

We have a children's counsellor and activities sorted for the kids.

My heart hurts for dc

They seem to be coping far too easily with this.

[Christmasfairy2020]

Why did you leave to the rescue was you scared partner may hit you

[refugemum]

Flak

You are absolutely right

[refugemum]

'Why did you leave to the rescue was you scared partner may hit you'

He constantly goaded and I came to the end of my tether when he called me unrepeatable expletives in front of DC as he'd done on many occasions and snarled and bared his teeth on his way out.

I called the Police non emergency line for advice. They sent 2 officers out.

I told them everything, there's so much.

I took their advice.

So I'm not sure, perhaps he may have hit me. He hasn't physically hurt me for years, but I didn't want to stick around to find out. My dc had witnessed too much already,

[tinkerbellla]

Wishing you all the very best! 💪

[marthasGinyard]

Life is tough

Still here

[Dmsandfloatydress]

I worked in a refuge for many years. Although it's hard for the mums all the children loved it! Mine had 16 children in it at any one time and they all attended the same school. They used to arrive looking frozen and then , after a couple of weeks, started to bloom. It was usually a fun experience for them if that's any consolidation.

[marthasGinyard]

My dd is amazing and the staff love her to bits.

They have been so kind just time to move on.

[Knitter99]

That's been a long time. Is anyone helping you put a plan together for getting your own home again?

[Dmsandfloatydress]

I can only assume you are in London or just outside. We had such a difficult time getting people rehoused from refuge. You do know that you can move anywhere in the country and get housed by the council right? We had great success getting people housed in Wales and Scotland and the waits for housing were negligible. You just need your notice to quit from the refuge and to approach the local authority homeless team in that area. Are you getting legal support? Do you own property? What's your situation?

[marthasGinyard]

We've managed to find a private rental near dd school.

So many complications along the way, my health, him having to be forced to sell or pay up.

My Dad has given us first 6 months rent to enable us to get out.

[ApolloandDaphne]

Have you managed to find a job?

[Dmsandfloatydress]

It's really tough right now but better days are coming . Your daughter has been saved from thinking that abusive relationships are normal so is much less likely to find herself in one as an adult. You will be glad you left even though its difficult now.

[marthasGinyard]

We left early March

Dream of going back to work but going through terrifying health problems so unable to.

Thank you

[StillWeRise]

you've done so well, OP, hope you can still get support now you've moved out.