I was a phone sex operator AMA

[Limegreens]

Ask me anything.....

Have you ever had a call that upset you?

I saw phone sex operators in a film once, very bored and distracted, doing the minimum of engagement understandably enough.

Is it possible to work like that? Barely paying attention?
How long did you do it for?

@Laggartha there's no defined yes or no. Any awful calls phone down immediately as policy. There have been a number of calls which linger and you begin to become jaded with men as a whole

@picklemewalnuts yep sometimes I'd be painting a wall, making my tea and those are the best when you can do a call and not have to concentrate so you don't think about the anything especially not the caller.
My first call I'll never forget I was absolutely bricking it. Your employer listens in to rate you.
She assured me it'd be a normal call but I got a dominatrix call and had to walk around my flat in heels so he could listen to me.
I'd say a few months before really disengaging and just going through the motions

there's no defined yes or no.

Oh, ok

So you were allowed to put the phone down if someone was nasty, but the general drip drip drip of it gets you down anyway.

Sexuality seems really weird, how have we ended up as a species with one sex enjoying something the other doesn't?! I get that's a gross simplification but still... men want women to listen to their boring sex fantasies, women want a nice cup of tea

@picklemewalnuts yes you've hit the nail on the head. It is the drip drip affect over time.
And I absolutely agree. Men are so carnal and basic it has given me a whole new perspective and it has taken me ages to respect men again

@Laggartha I'm not sure why you responded like that? You were obviously looking for a specific answer and because I didn't give it you are confused or in disdain of my answer.

Did you ever get a call that genuinely turned you on?

How did you get into it?
What was the frequency of the calls?
What was the pay like?
Would you dissuade someone if they wanted to start it?
What made you quit?

@GNCQ absolutely not in any way. I didn't have respect for most of the men and their idea of sexy was pretty awful.

@StevieNix
How did you get into it? I started by working on sex texting. I did this to get some extra cash. I then went on to calls because it was actually easier than typing.
I was good at it and got extra money for doing the voice ads.

What was the frequency of the calls?
Good question. It was very dependent on the time of day. Mostly between 6pm and 8pm because men are commuting home and then again late at night or 2am in the morning. Sometimes it'd be call after call depending on the day and what's on TV.
Other times it would be more sparse perhaps only 3 or 4 calls in 2 hours

What was the pay like?
You got paid after 1 Min in. I can't remember the exact pay but I think it's around 50p or a 70p a minute.
The tough part is eeking out the call so you don't have a happy ending before you get paid your time.

Would you dissuade someone if they wanted to start it?
It depends on the person. I'm pretty thick skinned, and I sought it out.
I have a sense of humour and don't care it's a means to an end. But if someone was sensitive or thought it was in anyway a reflection on them I'd so don't do it. I'm pretty sure it can mess some ppl up.

What made you quit?
I got bored of the same calls and same fantasies and I started to really hate men and knew it wasn't healthy and no longer worth it.

I've done this before, it was grim. The saddest part was how normal sounding most of the men are.
Officially we had to hang up if anything dodgy was requested like violence or underage. In practice you got a bollocking.

How have you described the job on your CV? Customer service

And has it ever affected any relationship you have been in?

@Janaih agree. It's sad.

@Vanessashanessajenkins2 an articulate , personable team player who is quick thinking and resilient.

No not affected any of my relationships. I have good role models in my life such as my dad, brother, brother in law.
I am now married to a lovely man.

I do believe there are those men who would never ever call a sex line and others who would, because women are up for grabs and at their disposal.
I'm more aware now of how gross men can be and id say more men than you think would and will use sex work.

What was the weirdest thing you were ever asked to do?
How long did you do it for?

@MusicWithRocksIn1t around 80% of the calls want you to be a chick with a d*k. So you have to play with your boobs then your d*k. I now realise most men want a woman who has a willy, who'd have thought.
One guy loved being a girl and I'd say I was painting his nails

I did it for around 2 yes but I lived alone. I then moved in with my now husband who doesn't know I was a worker on a chat line

@Limegreens
I work for a sex site for hook-ups for married men who want to cheat.

When you do a call, are the men as desperate to meet the women for hook-ups as I see married men are on the site I work for? Or is it a different vibe - no pun intended - when they phone up?

Laggartha I'm not sure why you responded like that? You were obviously looking for a specific answer and because I didn't give it you are confused or in disdain of my answer.

Thank you for sharing your experience of our exchange. This was how I experienced it:

A) AMA
B) Have you ever had a call that upset you?
A) there's no defined yes or no.

For me, my question was either you have or you haven’t. So I was confused by your answer and felt there was nowhere else to go with it. I do not feel distain for your answer.

@Azerothi that was the same as my sex text job. It was a site for men to cheat on their partners and they thought you'd meet up and want to have an affair.

In terms of the phone lines it was all about men telling you their fantasies like wanting to a woman or whipping them not much to do with cheating although a few men wanted to meet up

@Limegreens

Thank you. Nice to see a different perspective.

@Laggartha apologies I re read my response and it seemed rude!

Yes there was one call that has stuck with me. I'm really hard nosed but yeah it'll stay with me.

I’m really sorry to hear that. I couldn’t do the job, I take things far too much to heart and a phone call feels very intimate.

Does anyone remember band of gold? The older guy who had a fetish, can't remember what, rubber gloves and a chicken? And the one who used to wear heels and just walk for a punter?

I don't know how well it will have held up over time, but that seemed an excellent drama at the time.

Why do you think the men would call? Why drove them to it? Lonely? Wives not giving them sex? Fantasies they couldn't live out at home?

And did you find them more sad that they had to resort to that or disturbing?

@WineGetsMeThroughIt men called because they were horny and wanted to be validated. In a world where they can't just have what they want (boohoo poor them) this was a way of letting out their desires and fantasies. They feel worthy and accepted.
I don't think it has anything to do with being lonely or their wives. I believe they have fantasies that they cannot divulge maybe they feel ashamed about it and keep it a secret.
I'm sure most are happily married.
Lots of fantasies about women with a willy or dressing up as a woman or dogging or spanking so I suppose things maybe they don't want to tell anyone about.

More sad than anything else. I imagine they're lacking in confidence, not particularly good with women...not particularly successful. Sad saps.