I'm a foster carer and adopter AMA

[iusedtohavechickens]

As I said in title, I foster and have adopted one of my fosterlings, happy to answer questions xx

What age were your own children when you started fostering?

@Coving we had a 6 month break when we adopted. The child we adopted came to us at less than a day old and has always been with us. She will know she's adopted as she grows up and as it's looking at the moment the children we have currently are likely to be with us long term. (Until they are 18) we have her name on our fostering wall with her photos and her name on our fostering tree. We will never hide her story from her as she was meant to be!
Since the placement breakdown we have included our children in all the decisions around taking on placements and don't just jump straight in.

@mayneedabiscuit

Originally I was looking for a work from home job due to my birth daughters surgeries and her needing me to take time off from work which work didn't take kindly to. Fostering popped up on the list and I spoke to my husband about it. He was very supportive and could see how passionate I was about it, it helps he likes children too! 🤓

@mayneedabiscuit

The boy who left us moved on again from his next placement but has been in his next one for over 4 years now and is doing really well. We still see him at social events run by the LA.

@Overtherainbow12

My children were 8, 12 and 14. X

This is so lovely. I follow Crazy Middles and Crazy Pieces on YouTube. They are North American, you wouldn't be able to film like that in the UK.
The two families have adopted over 30 children between them (ish).

Thanks for the reply. Is it too full on to have photos of the YP up on the walls? I thought if they had a photo or 2 they liked up it might help to give them a sense of belonging but I guess could be overpowering t?

Have you read the Cathy Glass Books? Are they are true reflection of fostering/adoption?

@EdwardWoodwoodWould

My children have helped me pick their favourite pictures to add to my fostering wall, these pictures are only up in one room in my house so they don't have to always look at them if they don't want. We have stayed in contact with most of our young people and they love seeing their pictures still up in our home. Whilst with us they become a part of our family.
One comment a 12 year old said to me who had been on her 5th home while with me said I was the only one who treated them like a part of my family and she loved having the same rules as my own children. It made her feel like she belonged and not different.
If they didn't want their picture up I wouldn't force them.

@Northernsoullover

Wow I haven't come across them before but will look them up. Over my 5 years of fostering I've had over 40 children come through my door. Some have just been respite where I look after the children while carers have a holiday or weddings ect. X

@Monkeytapper

I have read one of her books but didn't like how much detail she went into and kept thinking the child would know it was them should they ever chose to read her books!

In terms of rules and regulations she appears accurate but I found it too nice and like she skimmed over the worst of the behaviours.
She makes herself sound too perfect and at the end of the day we are all human and children are great at pushing boundaries and testing you and anyone who tells you that they haven't felt affected by the Behaviours that's resulted in taking yourself off to scream and shout would be lying.

That's just my opinion and I know others who really enjoyed her books, but then my preference is crime thriller where you have to try and work out who did it! 🤓

How do you cope when the kids have contact with the families that are the reason they're in care?