I grew up in an abusive family. AMA. (Potential TW)

[daycartay]

Not much to add other than the title - feel free to ask anything. Doing this because it might help / educate someone

Hi Op, I do t want to pry and ask details, but from a safeguarding poi t of view, did you hope or want 3rd parties to notice and intervene, do you feel it would have made things worse? We're the perpetrators able to convince others all was well?

Hope you are OK x

Hi Joy! Don't worry about prying at all, thanks for responding!

I did want third parties to notice and intervene - however, any adults who were aware of the situation at home swept it under the rug (I'm guessing to avoid the conflict). In my personal situation, having CPS or similar stepping in would have made things more challenging temporarily but it could have spared me a lot of harm and it would have given me more hope that someone out there cared / acknowledged my situation.

Nobody spoke to the perpetrators about the abuse, but if they had I think my family members would have convinced them everything was OK. I would definitely recommend people to report anything that seems suspicious, however, it could have done me a lot of good!

How are you now? I hope you’re safe and happy and surrounded by people who love you.

I’m so sorry to hear that. Is there anything you think people should look out for and report that they might not think of (doesn’t have to be related to your history)?

Thank you, Oolie

Did you confide in school friends?

I did, yes, GreenClock. Most of my friends had a fear of my father (that seemed to permeate before they knew what was happening but was confirmed when I told them) and a few of their parents knew. It was essentially a big open secret, which I think didn't help things.