I converted to Judaism AMA

[onlychildandhamster]

I converted to Liberal Judaism last year.

I occasionally encounter some religious AMA but they are mostly centred on Christianity (understandably because it is the majority religion in the UK). But thought this might be interesting. My husband is Jewish but is completely irreligious.

@Giddly Judaism is not a proselytizing religion so we don't believe that it is the 'true religion' for everyone. In fact, in orthodox judaism, people have to be rejected 3 times before they can convert. We believe that Jews who are born jews should connect with the faith of their ancestors and the people who have a 'Jewish soul' would seek to convert.

Judaism isn't for everyone. In fact, it is geographically biased. If you don't live near a synagogue,it isn't for you as you need to be part of a community even if you are liberal/reform and can drive/take public transport on shabbat. This rules out many people in the UK. This is pertaining to converts, not people who are born Jews!

@Pootles34 I never liked christmas so that was easy to give up! I am not from UK originally so while christmas was a public holiday in my home country, my parents never made it a big deal as we saw it as a religious celebration.

I still exchange presents with my husband- we call it Chrisnukkah. But I don't have a tree.

Thanks, that's interesting, but do you have to at least believe the teachings of the Old Testament and Torah are true?

@Pinkmagic1 They aren't happy but have accepted it. my family have been catholic for 3 generations (quite rare for east asians) and attend mass every week/all the kids went to catholic schools.

I am fascinated by Judaism. I am Christian but work closely with Liberal, Progressive and United Synagogues....as closely as I can with the latter anyway. I'm always very humbled by the "family" atmosphere and always very angry about some peoples anti semetic views. Following this thread with much interest

@Giddly the word 'truth' is loaded. Orthodox Jews believe that every word in the torah is the precise word of god. Reform/Liberal Jews don't believe that and I am the same- we think it was written by humans and should be treated as such. Like any human written text, it is fallible.

I believe that the torah provides the foundational material for jewish traditions but needs to be engaged with through a contemporary lens. Which is why we don't stone women for adultery anymore or allow men to take concubines if their wives don't produce a son. I raised those specific examples as orthodox jews would also agree that stoning women and concubinage are wrong.

@MrsAudreyShapiro Not really personally. But people are confused you can convert to judaism as people regard being jewish as a purely ethnic identity. There are people with very strident views on Israel which other Jews say is anti-semitism but I haven't really formed very strong opinions on.

I think if you have a very Jewish name, you face more anti-semitism like my husband has. which is why I wouldn't call my future child Ari or Ahava for that reason sadly.

Judaism is a matrilineal religion, and for many Jews, this is fundamentally the most important thing. Indeed, being Jewish isn't about being observant/going to shul, as there are many Jews who are ethnically Jewish but not observant/religious, Judaism is something you are born into (and why Judisam doesn't actively look to convert people like most other religions).

With this in mind, how do you feel that in some Jews eyes', you're not a Jew at all?

Jews believe they have a covenant with god. With jews, worship comes not just through prayer but through the mundane of the everyday life. Which is why jewish observance can be very intense, because the relationship with god is expressed through something as simple as a blessing before drinking a drop of water, a prayer for looking at the stars in the sky. There is a specific prayer/blessing for the most mundane of action. So the relationship is very personal- as you are connecting with god every moment of the day and not just during prayer.

I love this. I think as Christians we could learn a lot from it.
Thanks for taking the time to answer.

@sansucre My MIL converted orthodox. Years later, my DH had a girlfriend which he met at his Jewish secondary school. The mother of the girlfriend told him that he was a christian as his mother was a convert. my MIL converted with the London Beit Din which has one of the strictest, if not the strictest rules in the world.

Being a convert or being a baalei teshuva means that there would be people who are more close-minded. Some communities can be more insular. Ultimately, what matters to me is whether i can send my child to jewish school, whether i have a nice synagogue to go to, whether i can make aliyah (I don't want to but I can under the Law of Return).

My MIL had 4 children. Her eldest, my DH married me. Her oldest daughter married a Jew she met in Israel but he is so liberal that he refused to have an orthodox marriage in Israel as he is against the Rabbinate refusing to marry Reform Converts/gays. This is much more complex as it meant he had to fly to america for the civil ceremony and do the religious part in Israel- as all Jewish marriages in Israel are governed by the Rabbinate but Israeli law does recognize overseas marriages. She has two other children but I highly doubt they would marry anyone where their mother being halachically Jewish would really significantly matter.

As they say- those who care don't matter and those who matter don't care.

Thank you for replying OP - and I'm sorry you have to consider people's vile behaviour when naming your children. That is truly shit.

It's worth remembering that King David's mother was a convert to Judaism.
I found that the Jews who were not welcoming to conversion were those who were not practicing Jews.

Grimdan - that's my experience as well. My fairly orthodox shul is full of converts - no-one cares, and their children have married without any difficulties showing their status. I am dead impressed by observant converts (not just orthodox ones), because they have had to work hard for what others have handed to them on a plate....

Thank you for your replies OP

As a former Christian did you have to give up the idea or hope of an afterlife or place in heaven? Were you personally attached to the belief bodily resurrection? Does it affect you not ththink you may be reunited after death with you loved ones ? I understand Jews do not believe there is an afterlife or resurrection?

Very interesting!

I've tried to convert twice. Once as a young person (I had already studied Hebrew and the holidays etc, had felt connected to Judaism for years). I was turned away because I was too young.

That was 25 years ago and I still feel the same. I tried again 5 years ago but I was told that as I am married to a non-Jewish man, my household and children would probably not be Jewish so I could not convert.

(There are no Reform Jews in my area, it's Orthodox or Conservative.)

Interesting. I’ve always found the Jewish faith interesting. I live near Clapton and often see the Orthodox Jewish around and the women all seem to have the same haircut and wear the same clothes. And in playgrounds the mums won’t engage in conversation with anyone non Jew.

I always wondered the difference because then I’ve worked with Jewish ppl who follow the religion less strictly I guess.

@HOkieCOkie I believe those ladies all wear wigs, think their hair is shaved on marriage, I’m sure the OP can confirm though.

Interesting thread. How has your prayer life changed now? Do you still chat to God?

I still don't really get the idea of converting. Surely if you believe in a god/religion, you believe in it, and no matter how much you don't like the community, or wish you could be in another community, well it doesn't matter because your god is the real one and that's a fact (in your mind).

I'm an atheist and in some ways I'd like to join a religious community, but it would all be a lie because I don't believe.

This is so interesting to me. I had an ex boyfriend who was a Yemenite Jew and have been fascinated since. I am the Atheist daughter of a Catholic and a Muslim, and married to a secular Englishman but I love reading or watching anything to do with the Jewish people. The sense of community just seems amazing.

How did your friends react? Have you experienced any anti-Semitism?

What do you think about gay marriage?

I am too, really interested in Jewish culture. I worked for an airline that did flights to Tel Aviv, I live near to a Jewish community, I've read and watched the book/programme based on Unorthadox. I've learned so much but I know there's so much more up the faith than media and memoirs.

Although I did watch a documentary on BBC about being Jewish (it's a mini series covering Islam, Christianity, Hinduism) I didn't really learn anything I didn't already know.

Apart from, Jewish circumcision after birth, the person performing the procedure might suck the blood from the area performed upon. That shocked me. It didn't indicate it was a past practice either.

What do you think about that?

Whaaat? I am jewish, my son is circumcised but I have never, ever heard of any blood sucking. Where on earth did you read that?

@Lelophants

What do you think about gay marriage?

Hi Lelophants - Reform and Liberal Judaism hugely support gay marriage and Reform and Liberal rabbis marry many gay people. There are also gay Rabbis.